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A Spirit Of Humility

1/25/2021

Do you have a spirit of humility? Humility is defined as the quality of being humble. In today’s world, being humble is viewed by some as a sign of weakness as opposed to a positive trait, characteristic or virtue.

Being humble is often associated with being passive or meek, but humility actually means that you feel confident enough in yourself that you don’t have to be overly assertive. It's a quiet confidence that often serves yourself and others a great deal more than loud insecurities.

I believe that we could all benefit from cultivating a spirit of humility. You might be wondering why and how? What does being humble and having a spirit of humility serve and what does it look like?

People who live from a spirit of humility recognize that failure isn't the end of the world. Instead, they learn from their mistakes, recognize a problem and push forward to solve it with new awareness and knowledge. They live life with the mindset the there is always something to learn from everyone, every situation and every experience. They stand in contrast to prideful people who are unwilling to allow adversity to be their teacher and as a result fail to learn.

People who live with a spirit of humility talk less and listen more...being more interested in hearing what others have to say than what they desire to say to others. They are genuinely interested in other people and think of others instead of themself.

They don't think less of themself, they just think of themself less. We incorrectly believe that a humble person thinks less of themself...that they downplay gifts and skills, or are silent when treated unjustly. Humility is not about thinking poorly of yourself, it’s simply not thinking about yourself at all. Downplaying your gifts and thinking less of yourself leads to resentment, which is the opposite, it's hyper focusing on yourself.

Humble people live with curiosity which drives them to learn from the best instead of striving to be above the rest. According to Lewis “Nearly all those evils in the world which people put down to greed or selfishness are really far more the result of pride.” He defines pride as “the pleasure of being above the rest.” Truly humble people have self-awareness and continually acknowledge their tendency toward pride and ego.

Do you want to be right or happy? A spirit of humility, chooses being at peace over being right. Many of us get our feathers ruffled over relatively small things. A minor disagreement can easily lead to an epic battle of wills. You may win the battle, but chances are you’ll lose your peace in the process.

A spirit of humility resists the urge of always wanting to be right...willing to admit error when wrong, allowing others to save face when they’re right, and not taking things personally. Their secret to enjoying life is letting go and moving on.

Cultivating a spirit of humility is a lifelong practice. A practice that sets aside ego and pride in place of awareness, curiosity, learning, service, and ultimately peace and happiness. It's a quiet confidence that speaks volumes over loud insecurities. It's a breath of fresh air within today's world. It's a practice I hope that I get just a little bit better at each day.

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Keep Moving

1/18/2021

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Yesterday was Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday and a National holiday here in the United States. Given the current climate in our country, his message and his quotes really speak to me. One that stands out is, "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but by all means, keep moving."

Many of us have felt like we couldn't move at the pace we wanted to this past year. The pandemic and other issues facing our country made it tempting to succumb to feeling hopeless, limited, stagnant, or worse yet like we were moving backwards. The message of keep moving, do what you can, do something, anything is an important one for us at this moment in time.

Sometimes I put pressure on myself and feel like it has to be of a certain measure in order to count, in order for it to be good enough. Doing this doesn't serve me. It doesn't motivate me to keep moving forward, it causes me to get stuck.

Instead I am choosing to celebrate every movement forward. You meditated for 5 minutes today, great! You walked a mile on the treadmill, great! You skipped peanut M&M's and chose grapes, great! This helps to motivate me to keep it up, to do one more thing that will move me forward. Every small win, every movement forward is a step in the right direction. Celebrate it, embrace it, feel good about your movement forward, this will make it easier to take the next step.

Our world right now needs all hands on deck. The more people moving forward to make their own lives more positive and committed to healing the world the better. If each of us keep moving forward in whatever way we can we will create momentum, shifts of movement forward.

Sometimes the challenges in front of us personally and globally feel overwhelming and too large, this can paralyze us and keep us stuck. Just keep moving forward one small step at a time. It all makes a difference. One more positive choice after another. Stay in the present, not in the past, and keep choosing and moving.

Get involved, do something to help. Be of service to others and to the world. Ask what you can give versus what you can get. Sometimes we get so focused on ourselves, our challenges, our insecurities and needs that we lose sight of being of service to others. Shifting focus to being of service makes us feel good and moves us forward. By being of service to others you are in turn helping yourself and creating personal movement. Trust in that and by all means keep moving.

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The Open Field

1/12/2021

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One of my most favorite people in the whole world shared with me a beautiful post written this week by Maria Shriver. It's filled with inspiration and perspective and it really resonated and helped me this week. I want to share it with you in hopes that it will serve you as well. It's a little long, but well worth the read. This is Maria Shriver's post titled I've Been Thinking...

This is a new year and I want to look forward because I’m so grateful we all made it to this moment. Let’s stop and let that sink in. Let’s pause and remember that we are the lucky ones. We really are. So many others didn’t make it here.

Now, I know you may be reading this and feeling anything but lucky right now. Maybe your holiday wasn’t filled with joy. Maybe it was difficult in ways you never imagined. Maybe you are disillusioned by what we witnessed this week and are already feeling disheartened about the start of this year. Trust me, I get it. Things haven’t been easy.

What matters, though, is today. It’s actually all we have. Here we are, each of us, together in community. Thank you.

Today, we each get to decide where to put our struggles and/or our pain. The same goes for our missteps, our regrets, our old wounds, and even our successes and triumphs. We each get to decide how the opening chapter of this new year will go and decide how to shape our narrative and share our lessons. That is tremendous personal power!

Many years ago, a friend gave me advice that I’ve never forgotten. He said to me, “Maria, don’t let your story be about the sad, heartbreaking things that have happened in your life. Make that a chapter, as it is part of your story, but don’t think of it as your whole story. The whole story—the one that will make you proud—will be about how you kept growing and kept trying. It will be about how you found your way to what you call ‘the open field.’”

“Don’t ever allow your life story to end up in the tragedy section,” he continued. “Keep it going and growing. Make sure it ends up in the heroine’s section!”

Good advice, right?

And so, my friends, in this new year I say to you what my friend said to me: Make sure your story is one of triumph. Make sure it’s one of joy and inspiration to yourself and to others. Make your story one that you can be proud of. Do not let it be about humiliation and tragedy, or rejection and shame. Don’t make it about what you didn’t do or didn’t achieve. Let it be about light. Let it be about your evolution. Make it inspiring. Make it about paving the way forward.

I have always used the image of “the open field” to keep me going. It’s an image that came to me while reading Rumi, who wrote about going out beyond right and wrong and meeting each other in a field. Rumi’s words inspired me to envision an open field, one out beyond right and wrong, but also out beyond shame, judgment, fear, and age. That destination has always kept me hopeful. Even in my darkest moments, I use the image of this open field to move forward.

Today, I find myself at this moment in my life feeling very different than I did at this time last year. My heart is wide open and yet I’m conscious of all the cracks in it. I’m conscious of the fragility of life and my own vulnerability. When I look ahead, I see a blank canvas. I have, for the first time in my life, no plans for my future. Zip. Zero. When that dawned on me over the holidays, it terrified me, but now I’m surrendering to it. There is no other choice. I look at this year as a wide open field. I look at it as a year of possibilities and a year of rest. I want to hold that paradox. My intention is to stand in my unknowing, even though it scares me to accept it and surrender to that reality.

That’s new for me as I’ve always been a fighter and a warrior. I grew up with all brothers in a big Irish Catholic family, and it was a deeply competitive environment. I know this last year was a struggle for so many of us, and it felt like we needed a fighter mentality to survive. But this year, I no longer want to “fight” to be seen, loved, or accepted. I no longer want to fight people with opposing political opinions or different opinions on COVID. The struggle that most of us engage in 24/7 is exhausting.

Letting go of the fight or the need to figure everything out doesn’t mean you will not thrive. So instead of trying to think and map everything out with my beautiful mind this year, I’m going to try to move toward feeling things out with my beautiful, tender heart. It’s time for my intuition, my heart, and my soul to take over. I’m actually relieved!

And so, if you also find yourself exhausted from all the fighting inside your mind and out in the world… If you find your heart in shambles… Walk with me. I’d actually love the company. I’m tired of walking alone.

My heart, with all of its cracks, still deeply believes in love. It still believes that people are fundamentally good. It still believes that our country’s best days, just like our own, are in front of us. It’s so important to focus on hope, otherwise you will feel hopeless, desolate, and desperate.

So, in this new year, right alongside our country, may we each feel our way into a new beginning. May we each feel our way into healing. May we each feel our way into a new part of our story, one that puts us squarely in the center of our lives. One that shines light on us. (The above photo was taken by my daughter Christina. She sent it to me saying, “Look mommy, there is a beam of light coming out of you!” That made me smile.)

The fact is, there is a beam of light coming out of each of us. It, in turn, allows us to shine our light onto others. I believe this with all my heart. We are not here to fight each other or ourselves. We are here to love and be loved. To care and be cared for. To help and be helped. To heal our wounds, as well as those of the ones we love. We are here to work and to rest. We are here to play, no matter our age. We are here to keep learning and growing. We are here to write our stories and to pass them on.

Like many, I had an incorrect story playing out in my head for much of my life that I was always “too much” and yet “never enough.” I worried that my needs were too big, that my light was too bright, and yet not as bright as others in my family. I also worried that people who were in families like mine actually shouldn’t have needs. I believed you had to work to be loved and that if you stopped, you would be nothing. It was all a lie.

So, if you grew up with a story that no longer serves you, simply close out that chapter and begin anew. Tell yourself what I now tell myself: You are not too much, Maria. You are not too little, Maria. You are not too needy, too weak, or unworthy. You are not invisible. You are not in someone’s way. In fact, you are the way! Your story is your most magnificent undertaking. You can make it awe-inspiring because it already is. Don’t look to others to validate your story or your existence. Don’t look to others to provide the love you missed out on as a child. Don’t look to others to mother you or father you. Don’t look to others to heal the child in you. No one can do that for you, nor should they.

You can do that for you. You have the pen in your hand, so get to writing. Know that how you tell your story can change your life and someone else’s as well. Stay open, stay curious, and keep the light on.

Happy 2021, my friends. I’ll see you out in the open field."

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Serenity

1/4/2021

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I was journaling yesterday morning about the beauty outside my window...the pure white sky and ground with the look of frostiness all over. As I was looking out the window and writing, the words purity, calm and serenity came to mind. There's something about the serenity and sense of purity of snow that attracts me.

Serenity is the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled, and purity is the freedom from anything that debases. It's no wonder that I'm attracted to the beauty of the snow and the meaning that it brings up for me.

The word serenity for a lot of us brings to mind the serenity prayer. The Serenity Prayer is one of the most widely known prayers. It was written and published by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in 1951.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all things right
if I surrender to Your Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with You
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Be calm...Grant me peace and calm to accept the things I cannot change. To be grateful, to let go and to surrender.

Be courageous...The courage to change the things I can. Living with courage, being brave versus living with fear and being fearful. Being brave enough to be me, to be vulnerable, to step into the arena of life and dare to be great.

Be still...Wisdom to know the difference. How do we know the difference? By being still. By praying and asking and then being still to hear the answer. By paying attention to the signs. By listening to our intuition. So often we seek, but we do not stop to be still or to pay attention.

Be present...Living one day at a time. Being present with the here and now. Not ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Enjoying one moment at a time. Cherishing the present, so as to not miss out on life. Being mindful of today and of this moment.

Be aware...Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Seeing the hardships and the challenges as learning and growing opportunities. Opportunities to explore who I am, to see my shadow and to determine what I desire to embody.

Be faith...Having belief, trust and loyalty in a greater plan.

And so be it...Amen means “so be it”. Every time you say “amen” at the end of your prayers you are saying “so be it”. Another way I like to end my prayers is with the words "and so it is". Amen is truth. Amen is a solemn affirmation. When we say, “Amen” we are saying, "Yes before God I agree with that; I believe that to be true; I want that to be so". When you end your prayer with amen, mean what you say because you are asking God to let things be done that you have prayed for.

Wishing you purity and serenity today and always.

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A Spirit Of Humility

Keep Moving

The Open Field

Serenity

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