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Stop, Drop, And Roll

3/16/2021

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Do you remember having fire drills at school as a kid? They taught the stop, drop, and roll technique for putting out a fire that was on you. The stop, drop, and roll technique also works great at putting out internal fires.

Internal fires happen whenever we’re caught up in the heat of the moment and burning to do something...maybe something we know we’ll regret later. This is when we can apply a variation of the instructions kids are taught to do if they’re on fire...we can stop, drop, and roll.

Here's the stop, drop, and roll mindfulness technique:
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Stop. Instead of immediately firing back at the object of our irritation, we can stop, pause and pay attention. Just the act of stopping and taking notice will help us to not be so reactive. 


Drop. Now we can drop into the present and become aware of tendencies and patterns that recur when we’re triggered. Taking notice what we are feeling and sensing, becoming aware of our thought patterns, and whether we’re remembering to breathe. Creating this pause, this gap, allows us to calm our nervous system and to remember that we have a choice about how to handle this moment in time. It's a moment to drop our limiting beliefs and create some perspective. A moment to tap into empathy and compassion. The process, which may take only seconds, ideally ends with asking ourselves “What will serve my highest and best good and the highest and best good of others?"

Roll. Then we roll. Perhaps we roll with it, we surrender or accept it. Or, possibly we roll out a proactive plan (not a reactive one) to handle or change the situation. If we are calm and not reactive we can problem solve and think better, be more creative, we can connect and process. We can roll out the welcome mat to a more mindful approach.

Life will inevitably offer up everything from minor annoyances to heartbreaking tragedies. At these times we can ask ourselves... Am I fanning the flames of conflict? Or, am I extinguishing the flame and dousing it with love, kindness, compassion and empathy? And, am I willing to take responsibility for unpacking my own internal  fire? 

​Stop, drop, and roll your way into internal steadiness and proactive calm, resilience and emotional intelligence. 
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Practicing Gritty Gratitude

3/11/2021

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This past year has been hard. As we mark one year of the pandemic and all of the various challenges that we've faced, I've been reflecting on how I've had to dig into my gratitude practice a lot deeper this past year. 

It can be relatively easy during challenging times to resort to practicing Pollyanna-type gratitude. This is when we mindlessly give a laundry list of "surface things" we are grateful for, or that we think we should be grateful for. Surface things to be grateful  for might include having food on the table, a bed to sleep in, air to breathe, etc. While these things are certainly very worthy of gratitude and for many people are not surface level, when they are repeated mindlessly on a daily basis they don't really accomplish retraining our brain or changing the lens through which we view the world. In essence, this is practicing gratitude on auto-pilot. 

Gritty gratitude, however, is a deeper level of gratitude. Gritty gratitude is messier then the type we display on Instagram or Facebook. This is where we take a challenging experience and shine a light on the pieces within it to be grateful for. It's the disheveled, mucky gratitude buried within those experiences ... the lessons learned or the helpers who came forth. A grateful heart is gritty and resilient, brave and courageous, compassionate and kind.

During good times, it's easy to practice gratitude. During the hard times is where we work to practice, where we have to go deeper. We have to look the challenges straight in the face and peel back the layers ... finding appreciation for the things that trigger us and digging for the source of wisdom. 


As this past year became harder, I held tight to my practice of gritty gratitude, as well as being present with the here and now. I invite you to intentionally practice gratitude by identifying at least three things that you’re grateful for each day. Challenge yourself to have at least one of the three be a gritty gratitude. 

Gratitude is a muscle that strengthens over time, changing the lens through which we view the world from a lens of lack to a lens of abundance. It truly is life-altering.
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Limiting Beliefs...Roadblocks to Thriving

3/9/2021

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Throughout the course of my own journey, in conversations and observations with family and friends, participants in various workshops, and client consultation sessions, it became apparent that there are common roadblocks to reaching our full potential and becoming the best version of ourselves.

These roadblocks impact all areas of our lives. They can keep us from achieving success within our personal growth and development, our relationships, our health & wellness, our sense of happiness and joy, our spiritual growth and connection, our business or career, our finances, as well as our capacity to serve others.

One of the biggest roadblocks is our limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are thought patterns that we learned as a child and repeat throughout our lives until we believe them to be true. Some of them work well for us, but others keep us from reaching our full potential.

These limiting beliefs could be about ourselves, others or the world. They pull us down instead of lift us up; throw up roadblocks instead of allow us to move forward; disempower instead of empower and make us feel less than instead of more than enough. 


They are the voices and thoughts in our head that convince us that we can’t be, do or have something. They keep us from thriving, being the best version of ourselves, accomplishing our goals and whatever we desire from life. Struggle and angst in life are typically an indication that limiting beliefs are at work.

Awareness creates opportunity for change. Letting go of limiting beliefs that don’t serve you and adopting enlightened beliefs will empower you to make your mission, goals, hopes and dreams a reality. 


Consider how much better your life would be if you stopped believing in something that is not supported by evidence. Most success and happiness exists just on the other side of a negative, limiting belief. The lies floating around in your head have been limiting you throughout your life. The power and positive effects of knowing and believing the truth can set you free. Reversing limiting beliefs is not only possible, it is powerful.

My sister, Kathy, and I have created a new program called Mission Possible. This program systematically challenges these roadblocks and steps you through the process of cultivating new more empowered belief systems that will help you achieve the life you desire. Our Mission Possible Program will lead you through crafting your own unique Mission, identifying your Great Devotion Pillars, pinpointing your Limiting Beliefs associated with each of those pillars, and give you strategies for Cultivating Empowering Beliefs.

Our hope is that this program will strip away the hurdles that keep you from living the life of your dreams and guide you to thrive and gain success in all areas of your life. Reach out to me if you would like to learn more.
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May I Have Your Attention Please

3/2/2021

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Sometimes I feel like getting someone's attention is a huge challenge, like I need to get a big megaphone and yell into it what I'm trying to communicate. I realize that I'm guilty of the same thing though, busy in my own thoughts, in my own world, not paying attention. The phones ringing, text and email messages are coming in, work needs to get done, life is full. I told you about it, no you didn't tell me, yes I told you yesterday, well I didn't hear you...sound familiar?

In today's world 
our attention is under siege. We are bombarded with multiple forms of stimuli at all times. A lot of us, a lot of the time, are looking down at our cell phones, paying attention to what our phone is telling us versus paying attention to what is going on around us, or to what someone else is telling us. The younger generation has grown up with a technological device in their hand most of the time. They can be sitting next to someone and choose to text or snapchat the person instead of looking up and having a real interaction.

We go and go and go, distracted by the endless to do lists, the busyness of running to and from activities, the mess of thoughts that are running through our head trying to keep track of it all, the hustle and bustle of keeping up with the tasks of modern day life. Sound familiar? If we are so preoccupied with ourselves and with our own lives, and we are not paying attention, we are potentially missing out on some important details in life. 
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When we are not aware, not present, it's hard to have emotional intelligence. Our level of emotional intelligence is critical to our overall success and happiness in life. Your emotional quotient (EQ) is deemed to be a more important indicator of your success in all areas of your life than is your intelligence quotient (IQ). How many of us consciously develop our own, or our children's, emotional quotient?

Emotional intelligence can be defined in multiple ways. Here's one explanation from Psychology Today. Emotional intelligence 
is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include 3 skills:

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1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others;
2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving;
3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.

How can we be aware of our own emotions and those of others when we are distracted with the busyness of life and not paying attention? A wandering, chaotic mind is an unhappy mind. 

Daniel Goleman, author of the book Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, believes that the way to increase your EQ is to be mindful. He believes that mindfulness is about getting intentional about your attention. Getting out of what Goleman calls our "urban trance". 

Compassion has been a big theme lately and Goleman also believes that the road to compassion starts with pure attention. Compassion begins with your own emotional hygiene. Once you get yourself in order, you are then able to open your heart so you can be compassionate toward others. Research has found that if we are preoccupied with our own busyness, we will be much less likely to be compassionate toward others. We see suffering, such as a homeless person, out of our periphery vision, but we choose to keep them in the periphery.


This week I invite you to up your emotional quotient by being mindful and intentionally paying attention. Pay attention to your own emotions and to the emotions of those around you, to get out of our urban trance and pay attention to what's in your periphery vision.
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