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Compassion is a Spiritual Practice

9/25/2016

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In studying happiness and learning what causes certain people to be able to sustain long-term happiness, compassion is one of the practices that is consistently identified. As the Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."  

Why is this? What is it about compassion that can bring happiness into your life? What does it even mean? What if I'm not by nature a very compassionate person, can compassion be cultivated? 

The dictionary defines compassion as a feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is action oriented, it's a verb. It's bringing someone who is in need a meal, it's giving someone a ride, it's listening to someone going through a tough time, it's taking action to relieve someone's suffering in some way shape or form. We all at times practice compassion. 

Suffering surrounds all of us in life. Compassion allows you to be with suffering without getting overwhelmed, without running away and without pretending that it doesn't exist. 

I consider compassion to be a spiritual practice. Developing and cultivating compassion is an integral part of my spiritual practice. It's been said that of all the world's various religions the one thing they all have in common is the emphasis on the practice of compassion. Compassion is service. Compassion is love. Compassion is kindness. 

Research suggests that acts of compassion activate the "pleasure centers" of the brain and our body secretes the bonding hormone oxytocin. This causes our heart rate to slow down, we are more resilient, our immune system is boosted and we have stronger relationships. Compassion makes us happier and healthier. 

How compassionate do you consider yourself to be? In addition to practicing compassion for others, do you also practice self-compassion? How do we develop and cultivate compassion? 
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Compassion cultivation techniques can help us to navigate challenges. It helps us to experience the feelings by observing feelings without getting caught up in them or blocking them out.

Three keys to cultivating compassion:

1) Mindfulness

You can’t offer compassion if you don’t see the suffering around you. Mindfulness allows you to see what’s happening within and around you. Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally.

Putting down the phone, shutting down the laptop, taking a few deep breaths, and observing your own body and mind. Do you feel tightness anywhere, is your mind replaying something you did “wrong,” or are you worrying about something you can’t control? Notice, label any feelings and breathe.

Then take a look around and notice what’s happening around you. What do you see? What do you hear and smell? Stopping and observing what's going on around you and within you is the first step toward cultivating more compassion. 

2) Compassion for Yourself and for Loved Ones

Self-compassion can be a challenge for most of us. Have you ever paid attention to how you speak to yourself? A lot of times we are overly critical and use harsh words. You may think that you are letting yourself off the hook too easily. Coulda, woulda, shoulda done it better or differently, but research indicates the opposite. High levels of self-compassion have been linked to less procrastination, and people with self- compassion are more likely to take ownership for their own mistakes. Self-compassion is linked to greater happiness, more optimism and less depression.

In American society a lot of us aren't familiar with what self-compassion means. We are taught to take care of others, give back, and go, go, go. No one teaches us to tend to our own suffering. Taking time to recognize when we are suffering and need some tender loving care is as important, if not more important than practicing compassion for someone else. Your cup needs to be full first before you can extend help to others. 


Consider extending yourself in service to someone in need of some compassion. It's the quickest way to feeling joy, fulfillment and happiness. When we ignore suffering, or we become so consumed with our own busy schedule that we miss the opportunity to practice compassion, we are missing opportunities to connect and foster relationships, to feel good about our selves and to feel happiness. 

An easy and awesome way to practice compassion for yourself and others is through a compassion meditation (usually called a loving-kindness or metta). I've included below a simple loving kindness meditation sample for you to try. I love to do this particular meditation while I am walking my dog. It's simple to do and makes me feel great!

3) Compassion for Humanity

You may find it easy to be compassionate toward family, friends, and others like you, but it can be more difficult to have compassion for people you don’t know of for individuals who you don’t particularly like or identify with. This is where it's becomes important to practice recognizing our common humanity.

There is basic commonality between all humans. Consider that everyone wants to be happy. Everyone has a mind, a body, and a heartbeat. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has fears. Everyone wants to be loved. It helps to remember that we are all one. Whatever effects you and impacts you in turn impacts me. 

This takes some practice, but it can change the way you interact with the world. It will make you feel more connected to the world. Practicing a loving kindness mediation also helps to cultivate compassion for all of humanity. 

Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation

This meditation is the simple repetition of the following phrases:

May you be healthy and strong. May you be happy. May you be filled with ease.

-Directing them first toward someone you feel thankful for,  someone who has helped you or someone who you feel unconditional love for. 

-Next direct them toward yourself.

-Now direct them toward someone you struggle with, someone you are having a hard time with. 

-Finally, direct them toward everyone in the Universe.
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Compassion is a spiritual practice. Imagine what the world would be like if we all practiced more compassion. What do you think? Do you intentionally practice compassion? I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Drop me a comment or send me an email.


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Granola Energy Balls

9/18/2016

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My sister-in-law gave me this super awesome recipe for making granola balls that I just have to share with you! I LOVE this recipe because it's quick, easy and made with ingredients that I always have on hand. The super cool bonus is that my kids LOVE them and they can easily make them all on their own!

These energy balls are a great eat on the go breakfast or snack. They provide a mix of protein, carbohydrates and fiber and contain the superfood chia seeds. Check out my post from November 10, 2015 to learn all about the amazing benefits and nutritional content of chia seeds. 

Here is the approximate recipe. Approximate because I don't measure I just dump in the ingredients.

1 cup organic rolled oats
1 tablespoon organic chia seeds (or ground flax seed)
Several heaping spoonfuls of almond butter (or peanut butter)
1 scoop vanilla or chocolate protein powder (optional, I use Arbonne vegan protein powder)
Mini chocolate chips or cacao nibs (optional)
If you like it sweeter you can drizzle it with honey 

Mix the ingredients together, adding enough almond butter for them to be moistened and form balls. Roll into bite size balls and pop one in your mouth, or put them in a ziplock bag for your next snack. They are yummy!!!

All of you adults out there who don't have young kids, don't pass trying this one out! I love them! They are a great go to snack to take with you to work, or to have in the car while running errands. They also satisfy my sweet tooth. It's always better to eat something that you've made versus having a processed and packaged granola bar. 

I would love to hear what you think of these granola energy balls. Give them a try and then drop me a comment and let me know! 
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What Would Jesus Do?

9/12/2016

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Have you ever been in difficult situation and didn't know how to handle it? Maybe you're personally angry, frustrated, confused or hurt. Maybe it's an even larger social issue like racism, or refugees, or war and you don't know how to respond, what should be done, what the solution might be. What tools do you use to help you decide what to do, how to respond, how to react? 

I was recently listening to a guided meditation on forgiveness and I really liked the instructor's approach to help guide your heart to a place of forgiveness. The approach is one that I use for many different circumstances and scenarios in life. In the mediation, she suggested that you spend a few moments recalling the situation that's bothering you and then envision that Jesus walks into the room. Notice the difference in how he handles it. What does he say? How does he act? What do I think Jesus would do?

She then suggested that you envision swapping bodies with Jesus. Watch how the scenario unfolds with him in your place. Feel in your heart what emotions, thoughts and feelings he brings to the table. What are they? 

Or you could look at it this way… What would my higher self do? I believe that we all have what I call a higher self. This is the part of us that is pure. It is truth, it is goodness, it is love, it is empathy and compassion, it is forgiveness, it is faith, it is grace.

If you were to strip away my human ego, if you were to strip away all of my fear, what would my higher self do? How would my higher self respond and react? Would I choose anger or would I choose forgiveness? Would I choose hatred or would I choose love? Would I choose empathy and compassion or would I stick to my guns thinking that my way is the right way?  What would my higher self do? What choices would it make? What would Jesus do if I were to switch places with him? What choices would he make?

I believe that sometimes we forget who we are, where we came from, that we are all one, that we are all children of God. I think that sometimes we let fear get in the way, we let our ego get in the way. We feel we need to protect ourselves or protect our loved ones, but what would happen if we made decisions based on our higher self? What would happen if we acted in the highest and best good of everyone? What if we first practiced empathy and compassion? What if we first brought love to the table? What if we exercised forgiveness and faith? What would our communities look like? What would our world look like? 

​I believe that as we journey through life part of our job is an  unlearning and a remembering. Unlearning fear and ego and remembering our oneness, remembering love.

Next time you are facing a challenge, bring your higher self to the table. Set aside your fears, set aside your ego and connect with your higher self. Take several deep belly breaths and ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?", "What would my higher self do?" Conjure up those feelings to help guide you, to help you to remember who you are and what you are made of. 

I would love to hear your feedback on this post. What do you think of the idea of consulting our higher self? What do you think about unlearning fear and ego and remembering? Do you agree that we are all one?  Drop me a comment or send me an email. 
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The 5-3-1 Practice

9/6/2016

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In our Happiness Workshop we share several tools that are powerful and yet easy ways to increase your baseline for happiness. They are part of the 10 Happy Habits that we share with our participants. These tools have been scientifically proven to not only increase, but to help sustain happiness in your life. Three of these practices have been given the title the 5-3-1 practice by the Center for Healthy Minds. They are so simple and yet so impactful. I have talked about them in previous posts, but I like the simplicity of referring to them as the 5-3-1 practice and hope that it serves as a nice reminder for all of us of 3 easy steps we can take each day that will help us choose happiness. 

​5...

Meditate for 5 minutes each day. This can be a simple breathing exercise, a guided meditation, a loving kindness meditation, whatever suits you and it can change from day-to-day depending on your mood. There are amazing proven benefits of taking just 5 minutes each day to meditate. Whether it's to start off your day on the right foot, or to serve as a way to de-stress and calm your mind mid-day or to reset and release at the end of the day, meditation is key. 

If you are interested in a few that I love, take a peek at the "Meditations" tab and give a few of them a try! 


3...

Journal or think about 3 good things that happened today and/or 3 things you are grateful for today. Don't just make a statement, surround it with as much detail as possible. If it's something good that happened, really savor it. Wrap it in as much detail as you can. Who was there? How did it feel? What was said? Savoring something good that happens has what's called a doubler effect...your brain can't tell the difference between when the experience actually happened and when you are replaying it again in your mind. 

If you choose to focus on something that you are grateful for make sure to build as much detail as you can as to why you are grateful for it. There is strong scientific evidence that having a gratitude practice increases our level of happiness. It helps us to maintain perspective during challenging times and to celebrate the good times. Feel good hormones are released into our bodies when we practice gratitude. It's really a simple, beautiful and impactful practice. Gratitude changes the lens by which we see the world.


1...

Intentionally do 1 random act of kindness each day. By giving to others, we not only make them feel good, but we in turn feel good. Generous behavior leads to happiness. It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone, or expressing gratitude for someone, paying someone a compliment, smiling at a stranger, offering to help someone in need. Any act of kindness whether big or small works. Acts of generosity activates circuits in the brain that promote well-being and I love to spread ripples of kindness out into the world!

The 5 - 3 - 1 practice...3 easy steps that we all have time for and can do each day to boost our baseline for happiness and help bring more richness into our lives. Give it a try and see what you think! I would love to hear your feedback. Drop me a comment or send me an email.
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