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Loving the Hot Mess

4/28/2015

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I've written about love as being an important spiritual element. Usually when we think about love we think about love in regard to giving it to someone else, or receiving it from someone else, but how many of us stop to think about and give consideration to self-love? Do you love yourself, truly love yourself? Have you thought about it lately? Do you love some parts of yourself, but other parts not so much? I would put myself in that category :)

It's a topic thats come up a number of times in talking to people lately, so I felt compelled to explore it and to share some thoughts and tips on loving ourselves.

In Matthew 22:36-40 the bible says, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments". Hmmm...love your neighbor as yourself...what if we don't hold much love for ourselves then? How well will we be able to love our neighbor? 


I've often heard that relationships are like mirrors reflecting our strengths and weaknesses, showing who we are at that moment. Deepak Chopra says, "The world is a reflection of us. If you don't like the reflection, it doesn't help to break the mirror". And Joe Vitale puts it this way, "What you see in the world around you is a reflection of your inner self. Once you change the inner you change the outer along with it." What do you see when you look in the mirror? 

I think a lot of us are in the habit of beating ourselves up continuously and exercising self-loathing. I'll never be able to do that, or I'll never be able to do it as good as so and so, or I'm not as smart, or as pretty, or as thoughtful, or as well-read, or as traveled as I should be, or as much as the next person, I'm dumb, I sound stupid, I look fat. It seems we are often looking for a way out by seeking...a better degree, or job, or relationship, or diet, or house. Some people self-medicate through drinking or overeating, some become control freaks, or obsess, some attack others, and some of us hide it better than others. 

Marianne Williamson states in her book, A Return to Love, "The perfect you isn't something you need to create, because God already created it. The perfect you is the love within you. Your job is to allow the Holy Spirit to remove the fearful thinking that surrounds your perfect self." She goes on to say, "To remember that you are part of God, that you are loved and lovable, is not arrogant. It's humble." Fear is the opposite of love. Fear and ego keep us from self-love. Just recognizing this goes a long way toward shifting and changing. Just shifting how we think about life produces a shift in how we experience it.

One technique that works toward making this shift and building self-love is called mirror work. It's recommended that this routine be practiced every day for at least 30 days (it would be great to have it be an on-going daily practice). Look into the mirror, into your own eyes and repeat to yourself, "I love you, I really love you, I love myself as God loves me". It seems simple and maybe silly, but after doing this for a period of time you will start to feel an inner shift occur. During your first few attempts, you'll probably notice the bags under your eyes, or your crows feet, or hear the self-loathing talk and that's okay, go easy on yourself. Be intentional and keep working at it, keep working toward seeing the good in you and the beauty versus judging yourself. Many of us have a hard time loving all parts of ourselves, this exercise changes how we think, feel and what we believe about ourselves. It will work toward elevating our energy and our lives and allow us to love others and become who we are meant to be.

Some spiritual leaders would say that love is our purpose here on earth, that to experience love in ourselves and others is the meaning of life. That is a powerful statement, but love so greatly impacts all of the other elements of spirituality that I have to agree that it is clearly a very important piece...love your neighbor as yourself.


Another simple and yet powerful tool to help build not only self-love, but also love for others is called Metta meditation or loving kindness meditation. The loving kindness meditation is a simple repetition of the following phrases...May I be healthy and strong. May I be happy. May I be filled with ease...first directing them toward yourself, then toward someone you are thankful for, then toward someone you feel neutral about, then toward someone who is frustrating you, and then to the Universe as a whole. Repeating each as many times as you would like. 


Here is a link for more detailed information on this loving kindness meditation technique.http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/better_than_sex_and_appropriate_for_kids

Another way to exercise self-love is to start taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority. Nothing sends a stronger signal to your unconscious self than when your conscious self places priority on doing things that nurture you. Taking a walk or a hot bath, going to an exercise class, eating well, getting enough sleep, reading a book, spending time with friends are all ways to nurture yourself. We often times back-burner our own needs/nurturing and get caught up in the tasks of life, even to the point of feeling guilty if we do spend time doing something for ourselves. Refueling and reenergizing our own spirit is an important expression of self-love and will go a long way toward causing us to be more productive in all areas of our lives. Take time to nurture yourself and don't throw yourself on a guilt trip.


Do you have any self-love practices that have been successful for you? I would love to hear about them! 



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When you have faith, everything is possible

4/21/2015

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Faith has to do with belief and trust. If asked about faith, I think most people would say it has to do with religion and your faith in God. It can also mean faith, belief and trust in yourself and others. In God, in your partner, in your family, in your friends. Do you have faith? If we don't have faith, what do we have? It seems like it would be a pretty desolate life, and state of being, if we were absent of faith. 

The bible addresses faith in several chapters. My favorite verse is Matthew 17:20, He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Here is another way to look at faith that I've heard...faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. If you have faith then you have hope, if you have hope, then you have love.

I believe that everything is more powerful when it starts with faith. The door is opened for the best things to occur when you let go of your fears and hesitations and just move forward with faith. This can be challenging to do. 
Faith takes practice, it's like a muscle that you can strengthen through practice.

Our faith can be tested when we experience hardships, illness, disappointment and loss. It's at these difficult times that we can either rely on our faith or turn from it. By holding onto our faith, its possible to see hard times as part of the journey and not as a punishment. Belief that everything happens for a reason. It's a belief that there's more to life than what's in this physical world. This concept can lead us into all kinds of related discussions about lessons, and karma, and the law of attraction, and about purpose and evolving. I plan to focus future posts on these topic matters as well.

Faith is about trusting the journey. Believing that there's a plan. Within this plan there are lessons and choices. Faith is about being in a place of yes. Trusting your instincts and sense of knowing that what you believe will unfold. Faith is about letting go, surrendering control and fear and living in a place of trust.

Do you practice exercising your faith? I need to daily remind myself to have faith, to not live in a state of ego and to relinquish fear. Tools that help to keep strengthening my faith muscle include on-going learning and reminders through reading about and listening to others who are also practicing their faith, my meditation practice, sharing and teaching faith and other spiritual practices to others, and  by having the power of faith demonstrated to me on a regular basis. 

Since I've been more actively exercising my faith muscle, life just makes more sense. The challenges of life make more sense too. I'm better equipped to accept them, even if I don't like them, and know that it will all be okay. I'm better able to look at the challenge from all sides and determine why it's being presented to me and what lesson is in it for me. 

How do you exercise your faith muscle? What is your faith practice? How has faith enhanced your life? Have you experienced the power of faith? I would love to hear from you and learn about your faith journey. 

"Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe." Mark Victor Hansen
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It's Time to Renew and Rejuvenate

4/14/2015

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Spring is a time for rebirth and renewal. We celebrate the rebirth of Christ, the flowers, grass and trees are renewed, the birds return, our spirits feel rejuvenated, some of us (not me) do spring housecleaning, but how about our bodies? Should we spring clean our bodies? Spring is also a great time to renew and rejuvenate our physical body!

A lot of us tend to get more active when spring arrives. We get outside for a nice walk to enjoy the fresh spring air. We feel a desire to shed some of our winter weight and get ready for summer. It's also an awesome time to take care of and renew our insides...our internal organs, our cells and tissues. A cleanse or detox program can be a great way to accomplish this internal body renewal.

Why is a cleanse important and what does it do? Spring cleansing means detoxifying our bodies. Our bodies naturally detoxify everyday, it's a normal body process of eliminating or neutralizing toxins. However, our bodily functions were designed when the world and our food were less polluted. We are living in a world with increasing toxins and carcinogens. We are exposing our bodies to them and absorbing them daily. Now our body organs and systems have to work a lot harder to rid the exponentially increased waste and toxins. And to top it off, most of us aren't giving our bodies the fuel, the nutrients that it needs to do this job. Imagine overworked employees who are also not provided with enough food for every meal. We are treating our body in the same manner. 

Harmful and carcinogenic substances ranging from industrial waste and chemicals, pesticides, radiation, food additives, refined food, high sugar intake, and high fat food are an everyday part of our lives. We need to assist our bodies to effectively detox these substances. A great on-going approach is to work to prevent these toxins from entering our environment and body in the first place. Providing our body with lots of organic whole foods daily is a fabulous year round practice. Also, minimize or eliminate the use of chemical-based household cleaners and personal health care products (shampoos, deodorants, toothpastes, etc.), and substitute with natural alternatives. Follow this up with an annual, bi-annual or quarterly detoxifying cleanse and you are giving your body a huge boost!

Here are just some of the awesome benefits of detoxing your body:

-Strengthens your body's fight against cancer cells
-Generates healthy cells
-Improved immune function
-Cleanses mucous, congestion, inflammation in our digestive tract
-Scavenges free radicals and eliminates toxins
-Purifies our blood

-Reduces pain
-Boosts metabolism
-Breaks our lifestyle addictions to caffeine, sugar, salt, alcohol, junk foods, etc.

There are all different types of cleanses out there, ranging from 1 day to 30 days or more. Some of them are geared to detoxing specific toxins from your body. From the research I've seen, it typically takes our body 3 days to detoxify. We obtain other benefits after the 3 days like reducing inflammation, additional healing, changing lifestyle habits, etc. My husband and I recently completed a 5 day cleanse. 


At a minimum, I would recommend a cleanse that uses a product that is ideally organic, non-GMO, all-natural without any sugar additives, and vegetable and fruit based. I would be happy to share with anyone who is interested the program that we used.

Before starting a cleanse it's a great idea to set yourself up for success by lightening up on your toxin intake. Ideally for several days leading up to your detox, reduce or eliminate alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, refined sugars, saturated fats, and processed foods. Gradually eliminating these in the days leading up to your cleanse will help your body adjust and eliminate some unpleasant withdrawal symptoms that can occur the first few days. 


So what are you waiting for? Grab yourself a cleansing buddy and do a spring internal body cleanse! And while you're at it, how about an external body cleanse too? Take a look at your personal and household products and see how many of them you can change out to include products that are more natural and less chemical filled. 
 
I would love to hear about your detoxing stories and questions. Please comment or email me. I'm super excited about an upcoming post on sugar, where my friend, Michelle Naff from Phitness Plus and Sugar Free Me, will share with us her expertise on sugar in our diet. Look for it soon!







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Surround yourself with dreamers

4/7/2015

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Do you have a dream? If you do, what does it look like? Is it one you've had since childhood, or is it a new dream? How often do you think about this dream? Have you envisioned how it will play out and all of the details that will go into it? Do you have multiple dreams for yourself? Have you taken steps to bring that dream to fruition? Did you have some dreams that have come true? Have you given up on some of your dreams? Are you living the life that you pictured for yourself?

I think a lot of us started out with a lot of dreams...big dreams, but sometimes it  can seem as though life has a way of keeping us from accomplishing these big dreams. Or is it that we too keep ourselves from accomplishing our dreams? How often do we really go for our dreams versus settling in for what seems safe or ordinary? I could be wrong, but I think there comes a time where we think to ourselves...that's good enough, it's not quite what I had dreamed of, but it's good enough. Or, I have a comfortable life, a comfortable existence and that's good enough, or who am I to aspire to anything greater? Or, life's just too busy, I have kids now, a mortgage, a job, commitments, I don't have the time or energy, let alone the money to pursue my dream.

Do you see yourself in any of these examples? It's not that there's necessarily anything wrong with being comfortable, but what if we each aspired to have an extraordinary life, not an ordinary life? How would the world change? How would we change? What would it look like? What would it teach future generations?

Kris Carr, author and wellness activist, in one of her workshops said, "Your soul is expansive and it craves uncertainty. In the uncertainty lies the possibilities. Have an extraordinary life, not an ordinary life. Change your mind about yourself. We have more power than what we know and exercise. Get deeper into your vision. Dream big, manifest big, but recognize that it may come in a different package than what you envisioned once in a while." I get that, I think my soul is expansive and craves the unknown, has a desire for infinite possibilities. 

It can be scary to own our own power, to actually follow through on our true potential. A lot of times we let our ego and fear get the better of us. But what if we were brave enough to not settle and to dream? To know our gifts, our strengths, to be clear about our vision and to not hold ourselves back. I think we also often tell ourselves that we can't possibly act on our dreams because we don't know enough yet, or we don't have enough experience. So guess what?...experts did not start out as experts, they started out as beginners, as apprentices and they became experts. What if we just get started and learn more as we go, become experts along the way? What if we just started where we are and go from there?


I can already hear my own brain saying...yikes that means you are probably going to have some rough spots along the way or even fail. How many of us play it safe to avoid failure? I know I have been guilty of that a lot in my lifetime. Can we give ourselves a pass on our own self-judgment if we fail? Are we brave enough to see it as a learning opportunity and not as a failure? We've all heard the stories of successful people who failed multiple times before accomplishing their dream. Why is this so hard to do? What are we afraid of? Who's opinion of us matters anyway? 

What if we dreamed and dreamed big? What if we gave our dream some legs and began acting on it? Do an exercise with me...sit down with a loved one that you trust and each of you for a few minutes tell the other several "imagine if" and "I dream that" statements. Don't hold back, be authentic, be bold, be brave, be creative, let it flow, whatever comes to mind just keep imaging and dreaming. Have it be personal or about how you dream or imagine the world or your community to be. Give it as much detail as you can. 

Imagine if I did the Tough Mudder, I dream that there are neighborhood health and wellness centers and less doctor offices, imagine if kids were taught and practiced meditation in school, I dream that my kids will grow up to be dreamers, imagine if I were a motivational spiritual teacher with my own blog :) These are/were some of mine, what do yours look like? Who knows maybe you'll learn something about yourself or something about your loved one that you were unaware of. 

This is an exercise we sometimes do in the mastermind meeting and meditation class that I attend. It's a beautiful way to tap into our dreams. I think anytime you take a moment to put awareness to your desires, your dreams, and then verbalize them you are taking a big step toward acting them out. Each day take small right steps toward your dreams.

I once saw an interview with Steve Harvey where he said, "Surround yourself with dreamers. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Stop telling your dreams to small-minded people." Keep around you people who love and support you and your dreams. People who challenge you to be all that you can be and more. People who will encourage you even when you may fail. People who are also dreamers and who are aspiring to lead an extraordinary life. Live BIG, live interesting, live extraordinary, create magic. Why not? The world needs ordinary people leading extraordinary lives.




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