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No One Is Perfect

7/30/2019

I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, no one is perfect and it's okay. We are perfectly imperfect and we are a work in progress.

I mess up a lot. I work to be kind, but I'm not always. I work to be loving, but I'm not always. I work to be patient, but I'm not always. I work to not lose my cool, to not raise my voice, but I don't always. I work to be forgiving, but I'm not always...and on and on and on. I strive to not just talk the talk, but also walk the walk and it's hard and I mess it up...a lot.

In our effort to improve ourselves, it can be easy to get caught in the trap of the pursuit of perfection. We can easily get down on ourselves for not being perfect and not having it all figured out.

This thing called change, or personal improvement, or spiritual growth, or whatever you call it, is messy, it's tricky, it's challenging, it requires diligence and it's never-ending. Once upon a time I thought I would get to a point where I would have it all figured out, where I would be to the other side, where I would be done. Well, that notion it turns out, was a silly one. I seem to manage to keep needing to learn and relearn and practice and grow and stretch and practice. It can be easy to give up or get down on yourself for not being perfect, but that's not how it works. We are students in this thing called life.

Our job, as I see it, is to keep plugging away. To keep moving forward, continuing to learn, practice and grow and loving ourselves through it all, as you are in this moment perfectly imperfect striving to do your best and learning from your mistakes.

I just keep working to do better, working to do my best, whatever that is in this moment, today. Learning from my mistakes and working hard to not make the same ones again.

In The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, he states in the fourth agreement, "Always do your best. Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good."

If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, take small steps in the right direction, love yourself in the process, always do your best, no more and no less, and know that you are a beautiful work in progress, perfectly imperfect, then that's all you need to do.

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Pain Is A Traveling Professor

7/23/2019

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Are you struggling with something painful in your life? Most of us at any given moment, day or week, face painful experiences and challenges. Physical pain, emotional pain, financial pain, relationship pain, however you cut it, pain and suffering is plentiful and it's easy to get stuck in its vicious cycle.

If you're like me and a lot of other people, you avoid the pain, you numb it, deny it. Most of us are afraid of pain, we think that it's our job to avoid it. Often we'll engage in numbing activities to avoid the pain. We'll attempt to sweep it under the rug and deny it. We'll engage in endless conversation, either in our head or with others, trying to figure out the why...Why is it here? Why me? Why is this happening? Why is he or she doing this? Spinning the endless, age old question why, why why?

Some people deflect the pain and discomfort with unkindness. As author and activist Glennon Doyle explains, "All unkindness is pain deflection. Folks who think pain is a hot potato toss it to the next person so they don’t get burned. That’s all. People who are unkind just believe they can’t handle the pain that comes their way. "

I propose that attempting to avoid, numb, deny or deflect the pain only causes us to get more stuck in it. And here's the thing about pain...it can be our greatest teacher. Pain is a lesson disguised as suffering.

As Glennon Doyle writes, "Pain is not a sign that you’ve taken a wrong turn or that you’re doing life wrong. It’s not a signal that you need a different life or partner or body or home or personality. Pain is not a hot potato to pass on to the next person or generation. Pain is not a mistake to fix. Pain is just a sign that a lesson is coming. Discomfort is purposeful: it is there to teach you what you need to know so you can become who you were meant to be. Pain is just a traveling professor. When pain knocks on the door—wise ones breathe deep and say: 'Come in. Sit down with me. And don’t leave until you’ve taught me what I need to know.'"

What if everyone that we meet are also our teachers? Everyone...the good, the challenging, the uncomfortable, the toxic, what if they are all teachers for us? Would it be possible to more readily see the difficulties we might encounter as trainings for our heart? Maybe instead of someone being an enemy they're actually a good friend that taught us many lessons.

Pain, if you let it, typically comes, stays for a while and then it leaves. When it leaves it tends to leave us better, stronger, wiser, softer, kinder, more empathetic and compassionate. It's not something to attempt to avoid, it's something to sit with, embrace even, and allow to pass through.

Next time pain comes knocking at your door, invite it in like an old friend. Sit with it, be still, look it in the eye, know that you are strong enough to handle it, and find the lessons.

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Magic And Illusion

7/16/2019

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This past week was my extended family's annual vacation gathering. Each year we get together in July to connect, enjoy each other's company, have fun, relax and create memories. This year we hired a magician to entertain the group during one of our evening gatherings. The magician started out by addressing the question..."Are magic and illusion the same the thing?" This question reminded me of my post from a few weeks ago on "The story I'm telling myself is...", so I decided to explore it a little more.

An illusion is an image that deceives the mind by producing a false impression of reality. Magic is defined as the art of producing illusions as entertainment by the use of devices. Magic and illusion are often considered to be the same thing.

Illusion is something that looks or seems different from what it is, something that is false but seems to be real. Illusion creates a false image in the mind of something that does not exist in reality. It is a false impression caused by the trick of sight and sound. Mirage is a perfect example of an illusion. It is the mind of a person that is tricked into believing something that is not real. Optical illusions and magic tricks shown by a magician are few examples of illusion. We know that the trick the magician is doing is not possible but he or she creates an illusion and that looks real.

I propose that life is an illusion of sorts. Sometimes we think we see or hear something based on our perception of the situation and we convince ourselves over and over again that the way we see it, our perception, is reality. Our mind is easily tricked into believing something that may not be real. We then create further stories in our mind to justify this reality and our brain looks for additional examples to help support the story.

Social media complicates our view of reality. Perceptions are created based on carefully crafted messages and images that cause us with limited amounts of information to form realities, most of which are truly just illusions.

Text messages can also be easily misconstrued without the benefit of hearing tone and seeing body language, causing us to create an illusion as to what we are seeing and hearing in our head. Something that is false, but appears real based on the made up stories in our head.

In the post a few weeks ago, I shared with you the idea of asking yourself the question…“The story I am telling myself is...", this week I invite you to also consider adding the question…“The illusion I am creating is…”. Being aware and challenging the stories and illusions that we are moment by moment creating, believing, and causing to be our reality can be difficult and yet liberating. It can help us get out from underneath the binds that fear and our perceptions create.

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Faith

7/2/2019

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Do you have faith? If asked about faith, I think most people would say it has to do with religion and your faith in God. It can also mean faith, belief and trust in yourself, others, the universe, etc. If we don't have faith, what do we have? It seems like it would be a pretty desolate life, and state of being, if we were absent of faith.

In the bible, in Matthew 17:20, it states..."Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Here is another way to look at faith from Hebrews !!:1, "Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see. If you have faith then you have hope.

I believe that everything is more powerful when it starts with faith. The door is opened for the best things to occur when you let go of your fears and hesitations and just move forward with faith. This can be challenging to do. Faith takes practice, it's like a muscle that you can strengthen through practice.

Our faith can be tested when we experience hardships, illness, disappointment and loss. It's at these difficult times that we can either rely on our faith or turn from it. By holding onto our faith, its possible to see hard times as part of the journey and not as a punishment. Belief that everything happens for a reason. It's a belief that there's more to life than what's in this physical world. This concept can lead us into all kinds of related discussions about lessons, and karma, and the law of attraction, and about purpose and evolving.

Faith is about trusting the journey. Believing that there's a greater plan. Within this plan there are lessons and choices. Faith is about being in a place of yes. Trusting your instincts, your intuition, and sense of knowing that what you believe will unfold. Faith is about letting go, surrendering control and fear and living in a place of trust.

Do you practice exercising your faith? I need to daily remind myself to have faith, to not live in a state of ego and to not relinquish to fear. Tools that help to keep strengthening my faith muscle include on-going learning and reminders through reading about and listening to others who are also practicing their faith, my meditation practice, sharing and teaching faith and other spiritual practices to others, and by having the power of faith demonstrated to me on a regular basis.

Since I've been more actively exercising my faith muscle, life just makes more sense. The challenges of life make more sense too. I'm better equipped to accept them, even if I don't like them, and know that it will all be okay. I'm better able to look at the challenge from all sides and determine why it's being presented to me and what lesson is in it for me.

How do you exercise your faith muscle? What is your faith practice? How has faith enhanced your life? Have you experienced the power of faith? I would love to hear from you and learn about your faith journey.

"Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe." Mark Victor Hansen

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No One Is Perfect

Pain Is A Traveling Professor

Magic And Illusion

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