Braving the Hot Mess
Check out Braving the Hot Mess on Facebook
  • Blog
  • My Story
  • Documentaries and Videos Worth Your Time
  • Books I Love
  • Vegan Recipes
  • Meditations
  • Affirmations
  • Tracy's Upcoming Events
  • Contact
  • Testimonials

Using This Time To Create

4/28/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Many people have expressed a desire to use this time to create more consistency and foundational habits in their lives. Have you noticed this for yourself? The need to leverage and maximize this unique situation to help create new habits in your life? It can be a powerful and positive result of our current situation. 

I often hear people say that they just aren't disciplined or that they're not a disciplined person. It's an interesting comment that I often hear chattering around in my own head. So here's the thing...Everyone is disciplined. You are 100% disciplined to the habits that you’ve become accustomed to. The question is, are you disciplined to the right things?

If we want to become disciplined to something new here are some suggestions to consider:

Pick your battle
Prioritize what you would like to create and then pick one thing at a time to work on. Stick with that one new area until you've made it a habit. We have limited capacity for will-power, if you pick more than one thing to change at any given time chances are that you'll fail at all of them. It typically takes a minimum of three weeks (the average is 66 days) before a new routine becomes a habit.

Schedule it
As Stephen Covey says, "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your prioritizes." It's important to create your life around your priorities versus trying to "fit them in." How many times to we attempt to "fit in" our priorities versus making them the actual priority?

A process that works well is to every Sunday night create a plan/schedule for the week. Each evening revisit the plan, making any necessary adjustments and have it set for the next day. Research shows greater success if you start your day off with a clear plan, you're more likely to get off square one and start on a positive trajectory for your day. 
Keep the plan in a location where you'll see it, visual reminders are a great tool.

Identify 2-3 critical tasks that need to get done either that week or each day. Focus on the critical few versus the trivial many. Then break down the critical tasks into smaller tasks. It helps to have small wins or rewards to create momentum, our brain likes to cross off tasks and feel that sense of reward. 


Giving yourself a lot of small wins, gives your brain a burst of dopamine which is a feel good hormone that's essential for successful habit formation. Plan for incremental changes, don’t try to do it all at once. It keeps you motivated to continue. The satisfaction of a small success keeps you going and makes you want to do better. You can boost up the dopamine even more by rewarding yourself and celebrating your win. Consider creating a reward for yourself every time you achieve a small victory. So, instead of focusing on a negative, like that you haven’t fully accomplished your goal, focus on the positive and your brain will help to support more.

Don't sabotage yourself
Don’t hurt yourself with negative self-talk if you aren’t perfect or skip a day, that just sabotages you. Remember you can always choose again. Keep that phrase in your mind. If you mess up, get right back on the wagon. Don’t wait for Monday, don’t let more days slip by, get right back on it. 

Work on your belief system
Let go of old stories and the old self-image...that’s your old story, what’s the new story you are creating? Use phrases like “up until now” or “that doesn’t apply to me anymore” to flip/reverse old thought patterns. Surround yourself with examples and others who are doing what you desire to help shift your belief system as to what's possible.

Use envisioning/imagination techniques to create a new belief system. The brain can’t tell the difference between a scene you actually see and one that you imagine vividly. So, envision in great detail accomplishing your goal, what implementing this habit and being consistent will have life look like. The sweet spot for doing this is first thing in the morning upon waking and before getting up. Whatever is top on your mind will dictate the trajectory that your mind continues to take and it will drive what you see. As Stephen Covey says, "Live out of your imagination, not your history."

This is not a complete list of things that positively impact creating new habits and routines, but it's some critical pieces that will set you up for success. Wouldn't it be great if some positive life style changes happened as a result of the pandemic?
0 Comments

You Can Always Choose Again

4/20/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
What happens when life gets you down? Maybe you are feeling grumpy or misunderstood, angry, sad, scared, or frustrated. Maybe the day started off great, but you were thrown a curveball, or maybe you didn't get a restful night's sleep. Whatever the case may be, what can you do about it?
​
No matter what, you can always choose again. If the day isn't going the way that you would like, choose again. If you are feeling grumpy, or sad, or angry, choose again. Choose forgiveness over anger, choose to be happy over sad, choose to be light instead of heavy, choose to be compassionate and empathetic over judgmental, choose love over hate, choose peace over fighting, choose meditating over feeling stressed, choose to be resilient over being grumpy. Make the choice to choose again. 

I know it sounds simplistic, but it really truly is that simple. YOU are in control of your mind, no one else is. YOU get to choose what you focus on and how you choose to feel, so if it isn't serving you, choose again. 

How do we choose again? There are a couple of strategies that work best for me. The first step is to be mindful, to be present and aware of what I am thinking and feeling. To pause, take a deep breath and recognize that I've gone off path from my intention, and then remind myself of my intention. Just stopping and breathing is sometimes enough. 

A powerful technique that helps me to reset and to shift is gratitude. It's quick and can be done anytime and anywhere. I list off to myself all of the things I am grateful for in this moment and intentionally recognize all of the goodness that exists in my life with as much detail as possible. Once I've shifted to a grateful state, I am choosing to feel good which in turn helps me to be empathetic, compassionate, loving, kind and forgiving. I now can move forward living with intention. 

Another powerful technique to help choose again is to be of service to someone else. Doing something for someone else is one of the quickest ways to serve yourself. My friend Haywood Simmons calls this selfishly selfless. Reach out to someone in need or do a random act of kindness. Smile at a stranger, open the door for the person behind you, extend a compliment, express appreciation for someone who has helped you. Small, simple tasks create powerful momentum in the direction of positivity.

There are tons of awesome quick and easy meditation techniques that are great at helping to choose again. One that I love is taught by Gabby Bernstein, it's called peace begins with me. Start out by touching the thumb and forefinger together while taking a breath and saying the word peace. Then touch the thumb and middle finger together, take a breath and say the word begins. Next touch your thumb and your ring finger together, take a breath and say the word with. Now touch your thumb and pinky finger together, take a breath and say the word me. It can be done anywhere and anytime and it's an awesome one for kids to learn. Peace begins with me.

Finding the tools that work to help you make the shift to choose again and then practicing them are the key. 

Even when facing some of life's greatest challenges we have a choice. A choice as to how I am going to show up, what I am going to bring to the table. We are going to move through the day, through the experience no matter what, and we get to decide how that existence is going to be. Whether it's going to be a positive one where we shine more light on the world, or a negative one, where we dim our light. The choice is ours. 


Your forgiveness, your love, your surrender, your faith, your gratitude, your commitment, your health. It's your choice and you always have the choice to choose again. No matter what the past has been, no matter what is going on at this moment in time, you have a choice as to how you show up. You can always choose again.
1 Comment

This Is Why We Practice

4/13/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
This is a post I shared a few years ago. I was thinking about it this week and decided to share it again. It's one of my favorite reminders. Here it is:

I recently read two pieces written by Danielle LaPorte that really resonated with me. I have combined them into one. So many wonderful nuggets in this piece, I hope that you find it as intriguing as I do! 


I travelled to Dharamshala, India with six friends to meet with The Dalai Lama. It was cell-altering and heart-expanding.

The week before our arrival, there had been a horrible event in which some monks were murdered -- most shockingly, by other monks. The story was on everyone's mind and in our small, private meeting with His Holiness, the first thing we did was offer our condolences. His response captivated me.

"Ah, yes, thank you for your thoughts," he said. "This is why we practice, for times like these when compassion is so necessary." He didn't nod in mutual disdain. He didn't show any drama. He was soft and ... practical.

This is why we practice.

For times like these.

You don't need to forgive until you need to forgive. You don't need nerves of steel until you need nerves of steel. You don't need to call on your reserves of compassion, or fortitude, or faith until you've used up everything else. This is why we practice.

This is why, even when life is ambling along nicely and there's food in our spiritual cupboard, we still make sure that we get to yoga, or the reading group, or Sunday services.

When we're healthy and happy we make sure to dance, we hit the court, we pick up the phone to check in, we drop by with something in hand.

When we're believing in the fairness and the glory of human nature and the so-called Fates, we keep seeking, and meditating on reality, and praying for healing even though nothing obvious ails us. We keep up with our spiritual practice.

We keep standing up to make our art even when we could be predictable pedestrians.

Because the day will most certainly come, as it does whether you are a whole-hearted Lover or in denial of Grace, that you will be struck down or ground down by life. It can come in tiny tearing heartbreaks five times a day, just walking through your neighborhood. It could come in the name of tragedy that could only happen once in a lifetime.

And you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart's escrow. And you will need to call on your people -- the unseen and the ones right in front of you -- to help you meet the day.

You will be interrupted. 
You will be called on to expand. You will be asked who you are and why you are here.

This is why we practice.

Spiritual practice won’t stop crappy things from happening. Here’s the truly holistic picture: Life is full of crappy things, circumstances, feelings, emotions, and people with crazy-mean motives.

You can still get your heart broken when you’re enlightened. Illumination doesn’t spare the body — pundit Jiddu Krishnamurti dealt with wretched migraines, the beloved Thich Nhat Hanh recently suffered a debilitating stroke. Tragedies strike. Tsunamis engulf. Life hits, heals, caresses, and batters every one of us — the saints, the do-gooder’s, in sun salutations, and in repose.

But this...

Here's what soul practice does: It helps you handle the hard stuff when it comes. Every conscious in-breath/out-breath you take carves out space in your being for the ineffable mystery. And you really need to leave room for mystery if you want to stay sane. All of your dancing, and asanas, and sweaty finish lines are making it much easier to unfold, rather than grip and grind. The prayers, the declarations, the incantations… they’re an IV drip of grace, streaming into your nervous system.

Spiritual practice won't make you super human. But it will help you fall in love with your humanity.

You get to choose your response to even the things you can’t prevent. When you’re down on yourself because you can’t get over it, when the Creepy Creepertons are on your very last nerve, when you’re tired of being tired, or your heart is in pieces…the best self-help is self-compassion. 


As we are in the midst of a pandemic and we are "safer at home" and practicing "social distancing", it's more important than ever to practice self-compassion and to nourish our spirit, however that may look for each of us. To practice and expand, to have an IV drip of grace.

It's also a great time to reflect on life and discover what is working for us and what isn't. How has this new forced existence impacted each of our lives for the better? When the pandemic has passed, will we slip back into our old existence or take some of our new lessons forward with us? My hope is that we each move forward in life differently, with heartfelt intentionality as a result of this experience. 
1 Comment

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

4/7/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
You've probably heard the old adage that laughter is the best medicine, but did you know that there's scientific proof that supports laughter actually creating physical, mental and emotional well-being? We intuitively know that laughter is one of the best tools we have for dealing with stress, and science backs that up.

During challenging times like what we are now experiencing, laughing can be the farthest thing from our minds. We tend to get more serious, stressed out, and lack the ability or even the desire, to laugh when it's exactly what we need. Laughing can serve as a shifter or a reset button. Laughter is how we can see and hear happiness.

Intentionally creating scenarios to laugh each day is an important coping tool for challenging times. How this looks can vary, it might be watching a funny movie, a standup comedic act, or reading a humorous book. It might be getting on a video chat with friends and laughing together like you normally would in person. It might be through telling funny stories of the past with your loved ones or pulling friendly shenanigans or pranks on your loved ones. There are lots of ways to cultivate laughter. 

Go ahead and give it a try. Turn the corners of your mouth up into a smile and then give a laugh, even if it feels a little forced. Another option is to practice a laughing meditation, yep you read that right. Gather up your family or friends in person or on a video chat and have everyone just start laughing. It usually starts off forced and awkward, but it quickly becomes funny and pretty soon everyone is genuinely laughing.

​Once you've had a good laugh, take stock of how you're feeling. Are your muscles a little less tense? Do you feel more relaxed and light? 
Finding humor amongst the challenge builds resilience. And the best thing of all...laughter is contagious. Treat laughter as you would your diet, exercise and other daily practices, and get some laughter into your daily routine. Just a few minutes a day can decrease stress, increase your mood, overall health and wellness.

​Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed :)
1 Comment

    RSS Feed

    Archive 

    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

    Picture

      Please sign up to receive weekly new blog posts. 

    Submit
Proudly powered by Weebly