Braving the Hot Mess

Chose Your Words Wisely

3/12/2019

I have working at giving even more consideration to the energy and the intention behind my thoughts, words and beliefs. Remember the rice experiment (January 27, 2015 blog post)? Our thoughts, words and beliefs have an energetic impact on us and on the world around us.

Words are important, thoughts are important, beliefs are important. They not only hold meaning, but vibration and energy. It's not only in how they are spoken, or how they are written, it’s also in how we give them to one another. Words and thoughts carry energy. The intention and the feeling behind the word or thought conveys the vibration. The energy you put behind a word will carry the meaning more deeply. The more power and intensity of the intention and the feeling behind the thought, word or belief, the more energy it will carry. Words and thought systems are important to choose wisely.

It's common to hear words used in the news and in conversations that people are intending to put out there as a way to bring more peace, more love, light and good into the world. Words such as fight are being used. Daily I hear people choosing to view and think and speak about the “fight”. They're intending it to be the "good fight”, however stop for a moment if you would and consider the energy that the word fight is putting out into the universe. What vibration do you think the word fight carries?

I invite you to consider pausing and contemplating a different word choice. It may be subtle, but for me it is in important distinction. Not only is there potentially a different energy and vibration going out with a different word choice, I also believe that it conjures up a different visual and intention. Can we use the word activate or activation? A calling to action. Activate for peace, activate for love, activate for freedom, activate for good. Do you feel the difference? Fight feels negative to me and activate feels positive.

I also hear the word resist used quite frequently in regard to this so-called "fight ". The phrase “keep resisting”. I would also like you to consider the vibration and energy associated with the word resist. Sit with it for a minute, how does it make you feel? It’s my understanding that the word resist and resistance would be lower vibrating words. What we resist, exists/persists.

Our words contain power. Let's not forget the power that they carry and be purposeful, intentional and wise in our choice. Other word choices we might want to consider include…freedom, inspire, persistence, spirit, resourcefulness, harmony, action.

It feels like there is a lot of time and energy being put into hating this or hating that. I hear words like hopeless and powerless being used. These are fear-based words, these are low vibrational words. I don’t believe that these words are going to positively affect or inspire the kind of change that the people using them are desiring that they will.

Words that signify spiritual qualities carry a high vibration. Words like love, peace, life, joy, patience, health, wealth and truth. Words that oppose these qualities hold lower vibrations. These would include fear, discord, sad, depression, hate, anger, pain, poverty, blame, shame and distrust. Low vibrational words are words that carry with it fear or anger or both. High vibrational energy feels good. Lower vibrations feel bad.

How do you feel if you quietly or silently recite a word to yourself? Try it for a minute or two and see how it feels. Give yourself time to tune in and sense its subtle energy.

Consider asking yourself, "What do I want?” Whatever you think about, put energy toward, will expand. If you want to see love and peace in the world, then intend love and peace for everyone and everything. You can't pick who gets the love and peace and not offer it to everyone. I invite you to focus your attention and energy on what you do want and not on what you don't want.

This concept applies to all areas of our life. What result are you wanting to manifest? Is it a fight or is it peace? This is not an attempt to ignore the negative, but rather to put energy toward moving in the desired direction rather than getting stuck in a negative energy spiral. It's a subtle, yet powerful energetic shift.

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Pray Hard, Love Deep, Kickass

2/28/2019

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I was listening to a video series by Marianne Williamson called Powerful Beyond Measure, her message and invitation in the video was to "Pray hard, love deep and kickass." Her message and invitation, along with the wisdom she shared in the video series resonated with me.

Marianne's invitation to pray hard, love deep and kickass reminded me of something the Dalai Lama said when he visited Madison 3 years ago. The Dalai Lama believes that praying by itself is not enough, that we need prayer and effort. He believes that we can bring our prayers to Jesus, or to Buddha, or to whomever asking them to solve the world's problems and that they would say...you created them, you fix them. He feels that yes we should pray, but that prayer without action is not enough, we also need to make the effort ourselves to do what it takes to fix the problems that humankind has made.

In A Course in Miracles, Principle #11 says, "Prayer is the medium of miracles. It is a means of communication of the created with the Creator. Through prayer love is received, and through miracles love is expressed." As Marianne states, "The only way to be a miracle worker is to ground yourself in a spiritual practice." The foundation of which is supported in prayer, love, compassion and giving.

Marianne believes that a lot of people ask themselves... "Do I do the inner work or the outer work?" her answer is "both and." As the Dalai Lama stated, taking action, making the effort to do what it takes to create change. Working on both the inner and the outer at the same time. Inner work of prayer and self-love, outer work of love and kickass action.

The challenge to us is to set aside our ego, our fear, our conditional love, and to love deeply from a place of oneness. Marianne believes that, "Devine love is unconditional love. Our purpose on earth is to love the way God loves." Loving deeply, unconditionally as though we are one.

Marianne Williamson is campaigning to be President of the United States. Her campaign slogan is...Think. Love. Participate. I personally really resonate with her message. If you are interested check out her website at www.marianne2020.com.

Regardless of who you support or what your beliefs are, I think it's important for each of us to think long and hard, to bring more depth of love and compassion to the table, and to participate in the process.

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How To Be Mindful Of Difficult Emotions

2/26/2019

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Our minds are always thinking, we are a thought factory. We have between 67,000 and 120,000 thoughts per day and most of them are re-runs. Our thoughts create our reality more than anything else. We can't control what thoughts arise, but we can choose how we react. It's our conditioned reactions to our thoughts that quickly influence us. We think we are our thoughts, our sense of self is created by the stories in our minds and we are very selective about the stories that we choose to play. Making stories up about ourselves and others that we tend not to question, but rather believe. Our thoughts are light and changeable they don't really have substance unless we given them substance.

Our conditioned mind tends to be unstable and reactive. Conditioned to our habitual ways of perceiving reality. The intention is to free the mind from the habits of conditioning in order to perceive reality clearly and realize our True Nature. Our True Nature (the unconditioned mind) is vast, luminous, open, stable, kind, loving, compassionate, wise, joyful with an inherent basic goodness and intelligence. Mindfulness techniques allow us more access to who we really are.

Mindfulness focuses on the present moment...the here and now, not the past or the future. This is the only moment where we're actually alive, the only moment where we can choose, it's the power moment. Our thoughts abduct us from the present moment. We tend to ruminate and fantasize or anticipate and set expectations. Our habit is to lay over the top of the present moment our past experience.

The key is to create an open mind. Judging closes the mind, curiosity opens it. The difficult emotion is the obstacle and mindfulness is the path. The way through it is to go into it. There are 6 steps for working mindfully with our difficult emotions:

Breathing: As soon as you realize that you're upset, pause and breathe mindfully for several breaths This brings you into the present moment, helps you ground and gather your wits about you.
Recognizing: Be aware of the emotions as it's happening and remember it's a temporary mind state passing through you. Softly note it..."Here's anger" or "Here's feeling upset."
Accepting: Instead of judging yourself for the feeling, open to it and welcome it. Something important is going on with you right now. Through this acceptance we are able to move through with more ease.
Investigating: Bring curiosity and interest to the table. Ask yourself, "How am I actually experiencing this right now? What am I thinking? Imagining? What's the story my mind's created?" Next go under the storyline to the sensations in your body. Ask, "Where do I feel this in my body? What are the sensations actually like? Are there other emotions here?"
Not Identifying: This difficult emotion is not a reflection of who you are. It's unpleasant "weather", created by certain conditions coming together, so it's wise not to take it personally. By softly noting it as, "Here's fear", rather than "I'm afraid", it's possible to remain open and stable with it while it's temporarily here. We habitually identify with our experience: "This is me! This is who I am!" And we suffer.
Searching: Next inquire more deeply into the root cause. Gently ask questions like, "When have I felt this before? How old do I feel right now as I'm with this? What is this really about for me? What belief is operating here? And, does this belief serve me now?" Open to whatever occurs with acceptance and kindness. When you sense that you understand this more, ask, "Given this, what's the wisest and kindest way to respond to myself right now?"

We are not trying to change it, we are just trying to relate to it. Changing it is fighting against it, resisting it. We are letting it be and companioning it, giving it spaciousness and remembering impermanence. Discovering the concept of impermanence was a game changer for me. Most everything in life is impermanent, things shift and change regularly. Just knowing this and flowing with it makes a huge difference.

A shortened version of the above technique is called the Drop In Mindfulness Technique.

Drop In Mindfulness Technique...ask yourself 3 core questions:

What am I actually experiencing right now? (thinking, feeling, sensations)
How am I relating to that? (curious and accepting or resisting and judging/caught in it/stuck)
Given this, what's a wise and kind way to respond to myself right now? What do I need in this moment?

How to practice this on a daily basis:

Drop In as many times as you can throughout the day...breathe 3 breaths, ask the 3 core questions, and follow your advice.
Unitask...concentrate on one task at a time versus multitasking.
When you feel stressed, use the Drop In technique.

Mindfulness develops vital mental muscles and it's a key component to navigating difficult emotions. Mindfulness can teach us that we don't need to be afraid of our thoughts, that they are not me, that I have a choice, but it takes regular practice.

This type of meditation is called Insight Meditation. It was taken from materials in a class I took taught by Mare Chapman, M.A. at University of Wisconsin-Madison.

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How To Navigate Negative Emotions

2/19/2019

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In my post two weeks ago, Being Fully Human, I shared some thoughts about how it's not realistic, or even healthy, to try to be happy 100% of the time and that the key is to be resilient, to have grit, to bounce back, to not get stuck in the muck, to have stickiness, to move through the challenge and its array of emotions and feelings and thoughts without getting stuck. This week, I want to share with you a technique called self-distancing that I've found to be very useful in helping navigate negative emotions.

We usually deal with negative emotions in three ways...we either try to suppress them, express them, or escape them, all three of which are typically not a healthy approach. Research suggests that instead, it can be beneficial to process and reflect on our negative feelings. When most of us try to do this, it can be easy to start ruminating and get caught in the loop of repetitive, detrimental thoughts. We spin the story over and over in our heads. We tell ourselves things like, "I will never be good at this."

Gaining perspective on negative events, or “self-distancing,” is a practice that allows us to view our feelings and experiences from an outsider’s perspective. This can be accomplished with language...saying “you” or “she” rather than “I". Using phrases like “Tracy is feeling frustrated right now" or referring to yourself in the third person. The most important thing is to not use the term “I” or "I am" (there is a lot of energetic power in whatever words we put behind the statement "I am").

In everyday life, we typically think and talk about ourselves using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me.” Using self-distanced language...like “you” or “he"...means that we’re referring to ourselves the way we usually refer to others. This linguistic shift seems to create a cognitive shift, allowing us to gain perspective on whatever is going on.

Self-distancing can also be accomplished by visually imagining your own experience from a distance like you are watching a movie rather than reliving it through your own eyes, to take the perspective of an outside viewer, seeing yourself from afar. Mentally removing yourself form the situation is a helpful trick. To try it, you can imagine that you’re a fly on the wall, observing your situation, or you can imagine you are standing on top of a mountain looking down over the events. How do you see the situation? How do both people look...you and the other person? By cultivating a broader perspective, you’ll often discover that the situation is not as bad as you thought it was.

Research has shown that taking this perspective reduces the intensity and duration of negative emotional experiences. Reducing anger, sadness and other negative emotions around a distressing event, as well as minimizing negative unproductive recurring thoughts.

Studies also suggests that self-distancing encourages us to think in more abstract terms rather than focusing on the details and feelings. When doing this, we are more likely to have realizations, deeper understanding and closure. This allows us to manage difficult feelings without getting swept up in them.

I invite you to try the technique of self-distancing next time you become aware of a negative emotion. Be mindful of the language and thoughts you are creating around the emotion and visualize it from a different broader perspective. Next week I'll share an additional technique that has also been very useful to me in handling negative emotions, feelings and sensations.

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Love Is Easy To Profess And A Shit Ton Of Work To Practice

2/11/2019

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In a few days it's Valentine's Day. Some love it, others hate it. Valentine's Day is typically a day where we profess our love. It's a time where we glamorize love, especially romantic love, into roses, hearts and candy. For me, it can serve as a time to examine love and relationships.

I recently saw a post by Brene Brown and felt the truth in it. Love can be messy, it's not always roses, hearts and candy. Whether it be romantic love, or love for a child, sibling, parent, or friend it can be messy and a shit ton of work to practice. Here is what Brene wrote:

Love is easy to profess and a shit ton of work to practice. Stay brave, awkward, and kind this week.

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.

Love is messy, it's both easy and hard. It can bring out the best in us and the worst. I know that I mess it up a lot. I lose my cool and say something hurtful, I get self-absorbed, I get impatient, I make assumptions and judgments, I do unwanted favors and then attach expectations. The list goes on and on.

It's hard work and takes practice, lots and lots of practice. Sometimes we mess it up and we don't get it right. Love is messy, It's not always roses, hearts and candy, but the best things in life are often messy. There can be magic in the mess.

Yes, there is magic in the mess. There's magic in being vulnerable, to letting others in and in putting yourself out there, in the discovery and progression. Magic in experiencing life with all of its beauty and struggle.

This Valentine's Day may you open your heart wider to love. May you be brave and pull down the walls, be vulnerable and live and love wholeheartedly. May you open your heart wider today to Divine love. May you feel it, embrace it and be inspired by it today. Wishing you love beyond measure this Valentine's Day and everyday.

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Being Fully Human

2/1/2019

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What does it mean to be fully human? It means there are going to be good times and not so good times, there will be challenges and struggles, there will be joy and despair. It's not realistic, or even healthy, to try to be happy 100% of the time. The key is to be resilient, to have grit, to bounce back, to not get stuck in the muck, to have stickiness, to move through the challenge and its array of emotions and feelings and thoughts without getting stuck.

Don't you wonder sometimes how some people are able to navigate challenges and adversity in life while maintaining a positive mental attitude and holding space open for growth without getting stuck in the "O, woe is me", mentality, or overdramatizing the situation, or just plain getting stuck in the muck?

Dr. Richard Davidson, a neuroscientist, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, as well as founder and chair of the Center for Healthy Minds has researched the topic of cultivating well-being (partially defined as happiness) and is highly regarded throughout the world. Dr. Davidson is adamant that well-being is a skill that we can all learn and I definitely agree! He details four constituents of well-being that have been extensively investigated neuroscientifically (see my post from March 15, 2016), one of which is resilience. He defines resilience as how quickly we recover from adversity.

He describes resiliency in regard to stickiness...which is how much we let a negative emotion bleed over into other events, experiences and areas of our life. He referred to it as getting stuck in the muck. He shared that adversity happens, that life happens, and your stickiness is what either causes you to be resilient, to bounce back and recover, or to get stuck in the negative emotion of the experience.

Gabrielle Bernstein puts it this way, "You can't control all of your experiences in life, but you can control how you experience them." What matters is whether we let the adversity become traumatizing. The good news is that we can learn how to be more resilient. We can learn to deal with adversity more effectively by how we frame it.

George Bonanno is a clinical psychologist at Columbia University’s Teachers College, he has been studying resilience for nearly twenty-five years. One of the central elements of resilience, Bonanno has found, is perception...Do you see an event as traumatic, or as an opportunity to learn and grow? “Events are not traumatic until we experience them as traumatic. We can make ourselves more or less vulnerable by how we think about things,” Bonanno said.

In research at Columbia, neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner has shown that teaching people to think of adversity in a different way...to reframe it in positive terms when the initial response is negative, or in a less emotional way when the initial response is emotionally charged...changes how we experience and react to the adversity. We can train ourselves to better regulate our emotions.

The opposite can also be true. “We can become less resilient, or less likely to be resilient,” Bonanno says. “We can create or exaggerate stressors very easily in our own minds. That’s the danger of the human condition.” Human beings tend to worry, we can take a minor thing, blow it up in our heads, run through it over and over, driving ourselves crazy until we feel like that minor thing is the biggest thing that ever happened. I know that I have done this, have you? Sometimes we nurse it, curse it, and rehearse it over and over again. We allow ourselves to get caught up in the drama and overdramatize the situation.

If we frame adversity as a challenge, we become more flexible and able to deal with it, move on, learn from it, and grow. If we focus on it, frame it as a threat, then a potentially traumatic event becomes a lasting problem. We become more inflexible, and more likely to be negatively affected, to get stuck in the muck. Being resilient is an intentional practice. A practice that, like a muscle, becomes stronger the more we practice it.

A key strategy for strengthening your resilience is to have a meditation or mindfulness practice. Being aware of your emotions and being present through a meditation practice allows us to better regulate our emotions. We can then reframe adversity causing us to have less stickiness and more resilience.

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Tap Into Your Intuition Through Wonder

1/29/2019

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Can you think of an occasion where you’ve had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right about a decision you needed to make or a situation that you were facing, but didn’t listen to your intuition and later regretted it? Do you often doubt your intuition in favor of hard evidence to support your decisions? If so, you may be underutilizing one of the most powerful tools you have...your intuitive intelligence.

In our American culture, we are conditioned to not use it, not to trust it. Instead, we are conditioned to make decisions based on our head and our intellect. Because of this, most of us have become intuitively deaf.

In timеѕ of challenge or decision making, it's easy to get caught up in the need to control, the fear of failure, of not being right, of making a bad decision, or of being judged. Our negative thоughtѕ саn spin оut of соntrоl. The negative mind chatter and thought patterns can be соnvinсing, conniving, аnd сrаftу. Your mind and your ego will trу tо persuade уоu tо pay attention tо it and nоthing еlѕе.

We make lists of pros and cons, analyze things to the nth degree, ask other's opinions and try to feel 100% confident before making decisions. Our ego, our negative thoughts and mind сhаttеr blосkѕ access to оur intuitiоn. It convinces us that it’s more important (аnd ѕаfеr) tо focus оn our fear and wоrriеѕ rather than thе wiѕdоm оf your intuitiоn.

Our intuition is our best navigation system available. Intuition is not just an ability, but a way of life. It’s paying attention to the flow of your inner experience, it’s being aware, it’s having trust and faith. When we pay attention to our intuition it puts us into the flow of the universe allowing us to create our future with more ease.

One easy way to begin to ignite and tap into your intuition is through practicing wonder. Sonia Choquette states in her book, Trust Your Vibes At Work, and Let Them Work for You, "The minute you turn your awareness over to that wonder, your mind steps aside and your intuition becomes activated. Wondering invites invention, adventure, and exploration of things to come. It shifts you out of defense and self-preservation and into creativity and collaboration with your higher self. Often we are too busy trying to figure things out to allow ourselves the opportunity to wonder. Yet wondering taps into our right brain (the creative side) and explores new possibilities and unknown variables, while figuring things out taps into our left brain (the logical side) and draws from past experiences and known variables. Solution arise from within, but we rarely think to look there, being conditioned to seek outwardly from others instead."

The solution to a challenge often lurks just below the surface of your awareness and simply needs to be tapped through exploration. Stretching our imagination muscles like we did when we were a child is a key step. Wonder on paper, wonder out loud, wonder with a trusted friend, have fun and wonder. The creative, intuitive mind is also playful mind.

An exercise I love that helps me to create the new story is to play the "imagine if" or "what if" game. When playing the "imagine if" and "what if" game there are no limitations, no rules, no restrictions, no logic. You get to freely create using your imagination what you would like the story to look like. You can play this game on your own through journaling, drawing or talking out loud. It's a great game to play while driving.

My favorite way to play the "what if" game is with a trusted friend or family member. The synergy that is created by the amplified energy of two or more people engaging their imaginations can bring forth the really juicy stuff!

Ignite and tap into your intuition through wonder, imagination and creative play!

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Keep Moving

1/22/2019

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Yesterday was Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday and it marks a National holiday here in the United States. Each year, on his birthday, I like to take time to reflect on his message. This quote stood out to me this year, especially given my post from last week, "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but by all means, keep moving."

That's really the important part right? Keep moving, do what you can, do something, anything. I know sometimes I feel like it has to be of a certain measure in order to count, in order to be good enough. I'm hard on myself and can get stuck beating myself up. Doing this doesn't serve me. It doesn't motivate me to keep moving forward, it causes me to stay stuck.

Instead I am choosing to celebrate every movement forward. You meditated for 5 minutes today, great! You walked a mile on the treadmill, great! You skipped peanut M&M's and chose grapes, great! This helps to motivate me to keep it up, to do one more thing that will move me forward. Otherwise, I'm apt to say screw it and eat the whole bag of M&M's.

Every small win, every movement forward is a step in the right direction. Celebrate it, embrace it, feel good about your movement forward, this will make it easier to take the next step.

I believe that our world right now needs all hands on deck. The more people moving forward to make their own lives more positive and committed to healing the world the better. If each of us keep moving forward in whatever way we can we will create momentum, shifts of movement forward.

Sometimes the challenges in front of us personally and globally feel overwhelming and too large, this can paralyze us and keep us stuck. Just keep moving forward one small step at a time. It all makes a difference. One more positive choice after another. Stay in the present, not in the past, and keep choosing and moving.

Get involved, do something to help. Be of service to others and to the world. Ask what you can give versus what you can get. Sometimes we get so focused on ourselves, our challenges, our insecurities and needs that we can lose site of being of service to others. Shifting our focus to being of service makes us feel good. By being of service to others you are in turn helping yourself and creating personal movement. Trust in that.

A famous quote by Marianne Williamson comes to mind. It motivates and inspires me to keep moving:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

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"I Can't" Versus "I Won't"

1/15/2019

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Wow, we are already halfway through the first month of 2019! Most of us set resolutions, intentions, and goals for the new year. How are you doing on your resolutions? Are you moving in the direction toward them?

I recently read the book Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, in it he talks about "I can't" versus "I won't". In the chapter on apathy and depression he writes, "Another way out of apathy is to look at the payoff we are getting out of the apathetic attitudes. The payoff may be in the face-saving excuses to cover up what is actually fear. Since in reality, we are very capable beings, most 'I can'ts' are really 'I won'ts.'" Gosh darn it all anyway, I hate it/love it when I'm reminded of truths like that!

His words spoke to me because sometimes I hold myself back. I let fear take over and convince myself that "I can't" when the actual reality is that "I won't." Hawkins states, "Behind all of the 'I can'ts' are merely 'I won'ts.' The 'I won'ts' mean 'I am afraid to' or 'I am ashamed to' or 'I have too much pride to try, for fear I might fail.'" He goes on to say that, "Apathy and depression are the prices we pay for having settled for and bought into our smallness."

In this new year, I invite you to examine your "I can'ts" and determine if they are really "I won'ts". Being more conscious through the realization that we are choosing a state of being makes a big difference to our self-concept than to think I am a victim and "I can't."

Let's make the conscious choice to not let fear paralyze us and hold us back, keeping us stuck in our old stories, our old programming, and our smallness. You are not too old, too busy, not qualified, or whatever excuse, whatever story you are choosing to hold onto as to why you are not going after your dreams, your intentions, your goals.

You can always choose again. Every moment of every day you can choose again. Be courageous, YOU are enough, YOU are not a victim, YOU are a powerful and amazing creation of God. Let your beautiful light shine bright. You've got this, you've totally got this.

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Pause, Reflect And Set Intentions

12/22/2018

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Have you taken the time to reflect on last year and set your intentions for this new year? Now that the holidays are over it's a great time to hit the pause button, spend some time in reflection, and set your intentions for 2019.

I think it's healthy to productively reflect. To productively look back for a bit before setting it aside and moving forward. Not getting stuck in the past, just looking at it to savor the positive and learn from the challenges. To reflect on what worked and what didn't and to bring closure. It can be easy to skip this step and jump forward into the next year with the proclamation of forget last year, this year will be better. By doing this it's easy to lose perspective, missing the the good stuff and the growth.

Here are some things that I recommend reflecting on:

1. What am I grateful for that transpired this past year? Big, small and everything in between. What are all of the things that come to mind that you are grateful for? I love to start off all of my prayers, meditations, planning sessions, etc. with a good dose of gratitude. This gives us some nice perspective as we are reflecting on the year.

2. What did I do, create, or experience this year that I'm really proud of? This can be in any area of your life. List out all of the accomplishments and experiences that you are proud of that happened this year. Work through month-by-month or pull out your calendar and take a look at the daily entries to help jog your memory. You may be surprised at how many you come up with.

3. What mistakes did I make and what did they teach me? What lessons did I learn that I can leverage from? What was the meaning in those mistakes and lessons? Maybe it's something that's not concrete, like patience, or compassion, or forgiveness.

4. What am I willing to let go of? What am I currently disciplined to that I desire to let go of? What habits, routines and disciplines are serving me and which ones are not? What old story do I want to rewrite and replace with a new story? An exercise I love that helps me to create the new story is to play the "imagine if" or "what if" game. When playing the "imagine if" and "what if" game there are no limitations, no rules, no restrictions, no logic. You get to freely create using your imagination what you would like the story to look like.

How are you feeling about the new year? I know a lot of us have mixed feelings as we are looking out at our world. We want to change, we desire change. How is that change going to happen for you? Are you willing to be the change that you want in the world? Are you willing to do your part to create the change in your own life, in order for that to ripple out into the world? Consider these items as you are closing out this year and looking toward the next.

Setting Your Intentions
If you don't set out your intentions for the year, then it's like getting in a car with no direction. As Jack Kornfield puts it, "Setting a long-term intention is like setting the compass of our heart. No matter how rough the storms, how difficult the terrain, our direction is clear." I set intentions that are both internal and external. My external intentions I keep a little more fluid and flexible. I surround them with a lot of space, space for the creativity of the Universe, space for my natural tendency to think too small, space for my highest and best good.

As the year comes to a close spend some time in reflection. Grab yourself a cup of hot tea or cocoa, sit by the fireplace, wrap up in a warm cozy blanket and reflect on the year as it is closing. Savor the year. You've been on this earth one more year in time, what did it mean to you?

Let your intentions be your compass, your guide that helps give you direction even in turbulent or challenging conditions.

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Chose Your Words Wisely

Pray Hard, Love Deep, Kickass

How To Be Mindful Of Difficult Emotions

How To Navigate Negative Emotions

Love Is Easy To Profess And A Shit Ton Of Work To Practice

Being Fully Human

Tap Into Your Intuition Through Wonder

Keep Moving

"I Can't" Versus "I Won't"

Pause, Reflect And Set Intentions

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