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Giving Tuesday

11/30/2021

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You have probably been bombarded by shopping ads and sales for Black Friday and Cyber Monday, but today is all about helping others. Today is #GivingTuesday, a day dedicated to helping charities help people in need and that is something way more exciting to me! 

The Tuesday after Thanksgiving has been tagged as the global day of giving. Bringing people together around the values of service and giving back and to encourage and amplify small acts of kindness. Giving Tuesday unites people and countries around the world by sharing our capacity to care for and empower one another. 

Today people and countries are coming together to celebrate kindness and generosity. Practicing gratitude for what we have in our lives, as well as what we can do to help and be of service to others. I love the concept of a global day of giving for many reasons, two of which are proven to be key pillars of happiness...gratitude and generosity...service and kindness. 

The Dalai Lama in his book, The Book of Joy, says, "As one of the seven billion human beings, I believe everyone has the responsibility to develop a happier world. We need, ultimately, to have a greater concern for others' well-being." He goes on to say, "Too much self-centered thinking is the source of suffering. A compassionate concern for others' well-being is the source of happiness. We have to take care of ourselves without selfishly taking care of ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves, we cannot survive. We need to do that. We should have wise selfishness, rather than foolish selfishness. Foolish selfishness means you just think only of yourself, don't care about others, bully others, exploit others. In fact, taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life. So that is what I call wise selfishness."

The Dalai Lama starts each day by setting his intention for the day. His intention is for the day to be meaningful. For him, meaningful means, if possible, serve and help others. If not possible, then at least not to harm others. He believes that, "Everybody wants a happy life...and our individual happy life depends on a happy humanity. So we have to think about humanity, discover a sense of oneness of all seven billion human beings." The path of joy is connection and the path of sorrow is separation. 

Bringing people and countries together to celebrate our oneness, our kindness, our gratitude, our generosity to care for, empower and lift each other up, creating a happy humanity. 

Science supports that when we see someone perform an act of kindness or of generosity it warms our heart. This warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you have witnessed human goodness is called moral elevation. Studies have found that the natural high of moral elevation makes people want to behave more altruistically toward others, causing kindness to be contagious. Elevation motivates those who experience it to open up to and assist others. Elevation makes an individual feel lifted up and optimistic about humanity...something I think we could all use a bit more of these days!

Let's finish out this year of 2021 by intentionally practicing giving, being of service, acts of kindness and of generosity. Let's create  moral elevation, so we can all feel lifted up and optimistic about humanity and our future together.

What can you do over this next month to create moral elevation? What small act of kindness, service or generosity can you perform? What act of compassion will make someone else's day brighter and lighter? Let's practice wise selfishness instead of foolish selfishness during this holiday season. I invite you to join me in creating ripples of moral elevation.
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Thankful

11/22/2021

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This week, many of us will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It's a time to pause, to reflect and give thanks for our blessings, the people and things that we feel truly grateful for in our lives. 

This week especially, I would like you all to know how very grateful I am for you. Thank you for receiving my posts, for taking the time to ponder their message, for taking a moment to leave me a comment, for sharing with me your insight and wisdom, and thank you for sharing it with others. I appreciate you inspiring me, for keeping your hearts open to light and love and infinite possibilities. Thank you for being curious, for being vulnerable, for practicing with me, and for helping to create so many beautiful ripples. I am truly grateful for each of you.

Being grateful is an active daily practice of mine. Intentionally in the morning and before bed, but also throughout my day recounting and expressing gratitude for the many blessings in my life. This practice has changed and enhanced my life. Gratitude changes the lens upon which we see everything in the world. Have you tried it yet? Do you have an active gratitude practice? 

I have spent a lot of time studying and researching positive psychology and happiness and the one thing that consistently comes up over and over again is the power of gratitude in leading a positive, happy, joyful life. It's truly a game changer!!

Our brains are programmed for a negatively bias. We are 3-5 times more sensitive to negative information. Our brains are trained to scan the world for the negative, for the threats, so that it can help us to survive. Our brain is like velcro for negativity and teflon for positivity. 

Negative emotions put us into fight or flight mode and narrow our ability to think. Positive emotions broaden and build our brain's ability to think and see. Positive emotions flood the brain with dopamine and serotonin. Chemicals that not only make us feel good, but that dial up the learning centers of our brains. This helps us to organize new information, to keep the information longer and retrieve it faster. 

There are many scientifically documented advantages to having a positive brain versus a negative brain. So how does this all relate to giving thanks? Gratitude is a system to offset the negativity. It amplifies the goodness. Gratitude is the gateway to happiness, the gateway to the advantages of having a positive mindset. The practice of gratitude invites joy into our lives, not the other way around.

When life is going well gratitude allows us to celebrate the success. When life feels like it is going poorly and we are challenged, gratitude gives us perspective. It is a beautiful perspective shift. Gratitude is an engine for holistic change. When you are grateful for what you have, you make energetic space for more abundance to flow into your life. When feeling grateful you feel more open, generous, connected, aware and alive.

This week, in honor of Thanksgiving, I invite you to go deeper with your gratitude practice. Each day journal at least 3 new things that you are grateful for, be as specific as you can. Or, take a few minutes each day to write a thank you note to someone, thanking or praising them for something they have done to make your life lighter and brighter. 

Make gratitude an active routine, independent of how you feel and not just on Thanksgiving, but all year long. This Thanksgiving, don’t express gratitude only when you feel it. Give thanks especially when you don’t feel it. Let's turn up the volume on gratitude and ramp up the vibration this week. I know I could use it, how about you?
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The Compass And The Captain: A Metaphor For Emotional Intelligence

11/16/2021

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You may have heard that your level of emotional intelligence is more important to your success than your IQ. While IQ is a strong predictor of academic success, it alone is not enough to set you up for success in life. Researchers have shown that our success at work or in life depends 80% on emotional intelligence and only 20% on IQ. 

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand and manage emotional encounters. Individuals who score highly on emotional intelligence tend to be better able to handle everyday stress, foster a greater number of meaningful close relationships, be more socially competent, and reach their goals and aspirations. 

In my new program offering, The Compass: An Emotional Intelligence Program, our function in life is compared to the journey of a sailboat. In particular, the elements of the compass and the captain serve to demonstrate the use of emotions as data to the individual. 

A compass is an instrument used for navigation and orientation that provides feedback on the current direction in which we are heading. In a similar vein, experiences like feelings, emotions, bodily sensations and intuition serve as a tool for navigation and orientation in our lives. 

Both positive and negative experiences are signals that provide feedback on the route we are taking in life. They can serve as a valuable guide on our journey and provide us with key emotional data. For this reason, it is important to pay attention to them and allow them to be present. 

The captain is the master of the boat and interacts with the compass, however, the captain is not the compass … just as you are not your emotions. The captain is the agent … the one who takes action. 

An emotionally intelligent person can be compared to a captain who uses the compass of their boat wisely. For a compass to be of most value, the captain must be able to read it and use its feedback in a way that ensures a prosperous journey. Likewise, the emotionally intelligent person knows how to “read” emotions and manage them in a way that promotes well-being.

A person who has difficulty handling their emotions is like a captain who is unable to respond to the feedback from the compass and is not using the feedback in an adaptive way. Have you struggled with this yourself?

When it comes to positive emotions, an emotionally intelligent person uses them to speed up the creative process, similar to the captain using the compass’ feedback to hoist the sails and allow the boat to move at a higher speed. Do you utilize positive emotions to your benefit?

This program is designed to increase your level of emotional intelligence in four key areas … noticing and understanding your emotions, effective regulation of your emotions, using your emotions to facilitate performance, and noticing and understanding emotions in others. Please reach out to me if you are interested in learning more.
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The Evolution Of Collective Consciousness

11/9/2021

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Last week's post explored the idea of consciousness. Now let's dive into the idea of collective consciousness. In particular, as it relates to the current challenges we are facing as a country and in the world. 

Collective consciousness is defined as the set of shared beliefs, ideas and moral attitudes which operate as a unifying force within society. Just as our individual consciousness can evolve or ascend, so can the collective consciousness. 

In last week's post, I suggested that a higher consciousness is an increasing awareness of your spiritual essence, the meaning of life and of the underlying spiritual nature in and of all things. It's elevating your awareness beyond your normal thought processes to your true nature. The same holds true for the collective consciousness. 

I also mentioned the idea that life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of consciousness. Many spiritual leaders believe the challenges that we are currently facing as a nation and as a world is a collective challenge. Its intent is to raise the consciousness of a large group of people all at once. From a higher consciousness perspective, being challenged is a good thing and the crisis is a natural part of evolution. 
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Eckhart Tolle explains that sometimes as part of this evolution, we first regress backward. Two steps forward, one step back. It is a cycle, you revert backward, so you can spring forward further. He believes that we have regressed, but that we are positioned to bounce forward collectively.

The choice for each of us is to see the craziness, to see the challenges that are happening now, and the other is to see from a higher perspective that what is happening now is part of the evolution. Right now we are standing at a big fork in the road and the question is, will we stay on the same path and cling to the craziness, or be brave and bold and venture down a new path?

We can choose to work toward the evolution or to work against it. You may be wondering, how do I choose to work toward it? There are many things that you can do to foster the growth of the collective consciousness. A global shift cannot occur until we acknowledge and own our actions and then take action in the world. 

​We can choose to stop taking sides and fostering separation. This is not about us versus them. This is not about republicans versus democrats. This is not just about men versus women. This is not about blacks versus whites. This is not about blaming, deflecting or defending. This is about all of us working together. It's about understanding that we are all one. A collective higher consciousness means we stop acting as though we are separate, but instead work toward the good of the whole.

We can choose to practice empathy, compassion and loving kindness. What is it like to be you? As Brene Brown says in her book Braving the Wilderness, "People are hard to hate close up, move in." Stop dehumanizing people and start humanizing. This can start with listening.

We can choose to exercise the ability to truly listen to one another. Listen without judgment. Listen with curiosity. Listen with an effort toward understanding. Listen without the goal of responding not reacting. Listen with the awareness that each of us has our own set of unique life circumstances. In this moment of stillness where you are listening you are not only aware of what that person is saying, but you can also become aware of the deeper essence in the other person that goes well beyond what they are speaking.

We can choose to do something, big or small, and do it with conviction. Stop making excuses for doing something...I can't right now because I'm too busy, maybe next week. Do something and do it with conviction and commitment. What's your passion? Is it racial injustice? Homelessness? Human sex trafficking? Hunger? Clean water? The environment? Whatever your passion is, take action toward relieving the suffering. Find your tribe, your circle of like-hearted individuals who have the same passion and together create ripples. Use your voice to call attention to the suffering.

​Author and spiritual teacher, Brother David Steindl-Rast, sums it up this way, "See everything as an opportunity. The current challenges that society faces is a huge opportunity. It is a moment in time that is calling each and everyone of us to step into this opportunity. It is a gift, a great gift. We have the opportunity to stretch even further than people have ever stretched before. An opportunity to stretch to understand each other more, to listen to each other more, to come to a common hope."
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What Does It Mean To Be Conscious?

11/2/2021

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The reference to people being "conscious," "awake," "woke" is being used a lot. Have you ever wondered what it means to be conscious from both a physical and spiritual perspective? It can be a hard concept to put it into words. 

Consciousness is defined as the state or quality of awareness. It refers to your  awareness of your thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations, triggers, and the environment. Consciousness is an individual’s awareness of their own internal states, as well as the events going on around them. Being conscious is part of what allows us to exist and understand ourselves in the world. 

Being an awake and loving presence in the world is about focusing within. Healing and overcoming our own shadows creates an existence where we naturally act in harmonious and mutually beneficial ways more often.

On the surface, or physical level, consciousness is the ability to be awake and process information. Doctors determine if people are conscious or not depending on their wakefulness and how they respond to external stimuli. 

Do you consider yourself to be conscious...beyond the medical definition that is? Are you aware of your own internal states, as well as the events going on around you? Sometimes I can be conscious, but I'm on auto-pilot and not operating consciously.

From a spiritual perspective, consciousness is all of those things mentioned, but also regarded as an evolving process. One from what might be considered a lower level state of consciousness, or awareness to a higher level or more evolved  state of consciousness, awareness, or awakeness. This is also referred to as spiritual ascension or spiritual awakening. 

Higher consciousness is an increasing awareness of your spiritual essence, the meaning of life and of the underlying spiritual nature in and of all things. It's elevating your awareness beyond your normal thought processes to your true nature...the journey toward wholeness.

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says that, "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." He goes on to explain, "How do you know if this is the experience that you need? Because it's the experience that you are having." It's as simple and as complex as that. He suggests that we accept each moment as though you have chosen it for your evolution.

Eckhart Tolle believes that, "The most important thing is not what's happening out there, it's your own state of consciousness. what happens to you is much less important than how you respond to what happens. It's then that you are not at the mercy of what happens to you." He goes on to explain that our minds create all kinds of negative thoughts about our experience and that is what creates most of our suffering. 

There is much discussion in the spiritual community about raising our  individual consciousness and the collective consciousness. Collective consciousness is the set of shared beliefs, ideas and moral attitudes which operate as a unifying force within society.

I believe the most important thing we can do for ourselves, and the world we live in, is to raise our level of spiritual consciousness. The more you are able to raise your level of consciousness, the more joyous, peaceful, and meaningful our experience of life becomes. The more we raise our level of spiritual consciousness, the more we change our mind, the more we change the world.
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The Journey Toward Wholeness

10/26/2021

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Spiritual teacher Gary Zukav says, "The journey you are on is toward wholeness." Do you agree that this journey we call life is toward wholeness? And what does that really mean?

Author William P. Young says, "The movement toward wholeness is when the way of our being matches the truth of our being." So, you might be wondering...what is the truth of our being? According to William P. Young, "The truth of our being is that which is everything that is true about God."

​I believe that love, peace, forgiveness, grace, and compassion are true about God. I believe that God is everywhere and is in everything, that God is ... infinite and eternal, accepting and welcoming, creative and a creator, love and goodness, patient and merciful, and the perfect giving being. 

If these are the truth of our being, then matching it means being in alignment with these truths. Being in alignment, being in integrity with these truths is wholeness. 

I believe that Jesus was a human example of what is true about God. Jesus exercised generous amounts of empathy, compassion, love, peace, unity, forgiveness and patience. He exemplified how we should treat each other and live our lives. This was demonstrated clearly in how Jesus treated social outcasts. Social outcasts during the time of Jesus were prostitutes, people with sickness, lepers, people who didn't believe in the main religion, tax collectors, people that had diseases, and people that were considered unclean.

Throughout his ministry his actions were consistently aimed at the inclusion of people that were outcasts. Jesus included women, children, foreigners, sinners, the "unclean", outcasts, the sick and even outlaws and murderers.

How do we treat social outcasts in our time? This can be a challenge can't it? It challenges me at times. What would Jesus do? The movement toward wholeness is when the way of our being matches the truth of our being. 

​William P. Young also says that, "The process of transformation is not about becoming something that we weren't. It's about unveiling what we were the whole time. I think we are made in the image of God and we were very good creations before anything got broken, but it all got covered up by all of this crap." There are things to uncover and to unveil. The process of the uncovering is the transformation, the journey.

So how do we uncover all of this so called crap and unveil what we were the whole time? It's a matter of exposing the lies. The lie of I am separate from you. The lie of I am not enough. The lies of I am not good, I am not smart, I am not worthy. It's a matter of exposing the shame. Shame for not being perfect, for making mistakes. 

The journey of this thing we call life is an unveiling and a learning of lessons that bring us toward our wholeness. It takes self-awareness and a whole lot of practice and more practice. It takes doses of self-compassion, self-forgiveness and self-love. It takes massive amounts of empathy and than even more empathy, and a sprinkle of love, and a dash of compassion blended with some forgiveness, some patience, and a cup of gratitude. ​
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Courage Is Fear Walking

10/19/2021

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I often hear people say, I don’t want to try because ...
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  • I don’t want to feel disappointed. 
  • I don’t want to be judged. 
  • I don’t want to fail.
  • I don’t want to look incompetent. 

… I just want this feeling to go away.

As psychologist, speaker and author Susan David says, “You have dead people’s goals. Only dead people never get unwanted feelings or get inconvenienced by their feelings. Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don’t get to have a meaningful career or family and leave the world a better place without some discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”

Fear is the emotion at the core of these thoughts. To be courageous doesn’t mean to overcome our fear. Courage is not the absence of fear. It doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. Courageous people take action regardless of their fears. 

As Susan David states, “Courage is fear walking.” It pushes you to resist the impulse to shy away from the things that stir up your innermost anxieties. Courage is the catalyst that inspires constant movement forward. It’s tiny pieces of fear all glued together.

I invite you to be fully alive by embracing courage as a tool to walk with fear. Stop playing it small and safe, instead embrace the price of admission to having a meaningful life. What baby step can take this week to move in the direction of your hopes and dreams? Identify it, no matter how small, and take action toward accomplishing it in the next few days. Bring your fear along with you on the journey.
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What Are You Disciplined To?

10/12/2021

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Do you consider yourself to be a disciplined person? Do you want to be more disciplined? A few years ago a wonderful nugget on discipline was shared with me, it goes like this...The question is not whether we are disciplined, we are all disciplined. The question is, what are you disciplined to? This hit home for me. It's true isn't it? We are all disciplined, it's just what are we disciplined to that's the question. 

This was powerful realization for me. At times I've considered myself to not be a disciplined person. This simple shift gave me a whole new perspective. I am disciplined, it’s not a matter of me being disciplined, it’s more a matter of what I am disciplined to. These simple little perspective shifts can be super impactful. They cause us to look at something from a different point of view, a little bit different angle, and sometimes that’s all we need in order to catch ourselves and to create a positive shift.

Am I disciplined to watching TV or am I disciplined or to exercising? Am I disciplined to social media or am I disciplined to visiting with a friend? Am I disciplined to eating out or am I disciplined to planning and making meals? Am I disciplined to reading the news or to reading a book?

This week I invite you to reflect on what it is you are disciplined to and whether those items are serving you. Do you desire to create a shift and discipline yourself toward something different? Something that might bring more positivity, passion, meaning, or impact? 

​Fall is a great time of year to let go of the things that aren't serving you and say yes to a new discipline. Shake up your routine and blend in some new disciplines!
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Premature Death

10/5/2021

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Do you feel empty? Does your life feel void of passion? Are you moving at a breathless pace, trying to keep up with the culture of busyness? If you are, I hear you, I see you, I recognize your pain. So many people are depressed, anxious, and lonely... struggling with addictions and strategies of numbing and anesthesia...anything to ward off the feelings of emptiness.

In the book The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller, the author discusses the many forms of grief and unpacks how deficient our culture is at healing and the soul work of grief. 

Weller writes, "Facing our emptiness is the key to our freedom. Emptiness saturates our culture. Addictions, consumption, materialism are symptoms of this condition. They are attempts to cope with the unbearable feelings of barrenness. To feel empty is to live in the wasteland near the gates of death. This is intolerable to the soul. We were not meant to live such shallow lives."

He goes on to say, "Many of us suffer from what I call premature death, in that we have turned away from whole portions of our life. We have adapted to a pattern of ambivalence, neither in nor out of life, but living in a state of suspended animation...I think most people walk around possessed by the dullest parts of themselves; this, the worst state of possession is called normal."

We long to feel that we are needed to in order for the world to keep happening. Weller believes that the absence of this remains as a persistent grief in our psyches, that we have become spiritually unemployed. He suggests that instead of asking, "What do you do for a living?", ask:

  • What is the gift that you carry in your soul?
  • What have you brought with you into the heart of the village?

Spiritual employment is feeling valued for the gifts with which we are born, it affirms our worth and dignity. By simply being who you are, your place in the village is confirmed. This feeling of grounding and acceptance is essential to finding and maintaining a feeling of emotional intimacy with life, with one another, and with our own soul.

​I invite you to consider reading Weller's book. It's a beautifully written work on grief and healing. 
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Grace Soaked Grounded Soul

9/28/2021

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In an interview Oprah had with Shauna Niequist, author of the book Present Over Perfect, Oprah asked, "What are some of the practices we can all do to become a source of healing in the world?" Shauna Niequist responded, "When you bring a grace soaked grounded soul to any room that you walk in you are offering yourself as an instrument of healing." Don't you just love that? Savor it for a moment, bask in it...a grace soaked grounded soul.

What does it mean to be grace soaked? For me, it means living the essence of God. Living the true essence of who you are at your core. Acting with divinity. It's strength and empowerment to bring love and kindness and to do good works. 

What does it mean to be a grounded soul? For me, being a grounded soul means living with intention. Grounded and anchored with intention. Grounded in who you are, what your purpose is here, and what you stand for. Being able to fully answer the question, "Who am I?" Being centered in that answer and aligned with it. It's living from a place of integrity. It's living with faith. It's a place of practice and more practice. 

Can you envision how we could be an instrument for healing in the world if we were all grace soaked grounded souls? Can you imagine the amazing and powerful ripples that would be created in the world? Ripples of healing cast out into the Universe.

I believe that the world will be healed by the human spirit. By and through more and more of us rising up. By more of us having grace soaked grounded souls. By more of us being able to firmly answer, "Who am I?" By more of us speaking our truth. By more of us being curious and listening with empathy. By more of us finding our purpose. By more of us aligning ourselves with integrity and living a congruent life. By more of us offering up forgiveness. By more of us being brave, opening our hearts, rising up and creating ripples of healing change in the world. 

I invite you to ground your soul and soak it up in grace to help be a source of healing in our world. 
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