Braving the Hot Mess

This Is Why We Practice

8/14/2018

This is a post that I shared almost 3 year ago. I was thinking about it this week and decided to share it again. It's one of my favorite reminders. I hope you enjoy it!

Do you sometimes wait until there is some type of crisis or immediate need before taking care of important things? For instance, waiting until you have a cold to take care of yourself. You feel the symptoms begin to surface, so you try to get more rest, you eat better, you take your supplements, drink your tea and try to gear up to fend it off.

I work hard to take care of my spirit, mind and body, but there are times when I am slacking off and not practicing what I know. I recently read two pieces written by Danielle LaPorte that really resonated with me. I have combined them into one and I want to share it with you in this week's post. I hope that you find it as intriguing as I did. Here it is.

I travelled to Dharamshala, India with six friends to meet with The Dalai Lama. It was cell-altering and heart-expanding.

The week before our arrival, there had been a horrible event in which some monks were murdered -- most shockingly, by other monks. The story was on everyone's mind and in our small, private meeting with His Holiness, the first thing we did was offer our condolences. His response captivated me.

"Ah, yes, thank you for your thoughts," he said. "This is why we practice, for times like these when compassion is so necessary." He didn't nod in mutual disdain. He didn't show any drama. He was soft and ... practical.

This is why we practice.

For times like these.

You don't need to forgive until you need to forgive. You don't need nerves of steel until you need nerves of steel. You don't need to call on your reserves of compassion, or fortitude, or faith until you've used up everything else.This is why we practice.

This is why, even when life is ambling along nicely and there's food in our spiritual cupboard, we still make sure that we get to yoga, or the reading group, or Sunday services.

When we're healthy and happy we make sure to dance, we hit the court, we pick up the phone to check in, we drop by with something in hand.

When we're believing in the fairness and the glory of human nature and the so-called Fates, we keep seeking, and meditating on reality, and praying for healing even though nothing obvious ails us. We keep up with our spiritual practice.

We keep standing up to make our art even when we could be predictable pedestrians.

Because the day will most certainly come, as it does whether you are a whole-hearted Lover or in denial of Grace, that you will be struck down or ground down by life. It can come in tiny tearing heartbreaks five times a day, just walking through your neighbourhood. It could come in the name of tragedy that could only happen once in a lifetime.

And you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart's escrow. And you will need to call on your people -- the unseen and the ones right in front of you -- to help you meet the day.

You will be interrupted.
You will be called on to expand.You will be asked who you are and why you are here.

This is why we practice.

Spiritual practice won’t stop crappy things from happening. Here’s the truly holistic picture: Life is full of crappy things, circumstances, feelings, emotions, and people with crazy-mean motives.

You can still get your heart broken when you’re enlightened. Illumination doesn’t spare the body — pundit Jiddu Krishnamurti dealt with wretched migraines, the beloved Thich Nhat Hanh recently suffered a debilitating stroke. Tragedies strike. Tsunamis engulf. Life hits, heals, caresses, and batters every one of us — the saints, the do-gooder’s, in sun salutations, and in repose.

But this...

Here's what soul practice does: It helps you handle the hard stuff when it comes. Every conscious in-breath/out-breath you take carves out space in your being for the ineffable mystery. And you really need to leave room for mystery if you want to stay sane. All of your dancing, and asanas, and sweaty finish lines are making it much easier to unfold, rather than grip and grind. The prayers, the declarations, the incantations… they’re an IV drip of grace, streaming into your nervous system.

Spiritual practice won't make you super human. But it will help you fall in love with your humanity.

You get to choose your response to even the things you can’t prevent. When you’re down on yourself because you can’t get over it, when the Creepy Creepertons are on your very last nerve, when you’re tired of being tired, or your heart is in pieces…the best self-help is self-compassion.

I love the "IV drip of grace" and the "you get to choose your response" and "you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart's escrow" and "you will be called on to expand. You will be asked who you are and why you are here." Which ones stood out to you? I would love to hear your feedback.

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We Are Not The Survival Of The Fittest. We Are The Survival Of The Nurtured.

8/7/2018

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Do you remember learning in school the concept of survival of the fittest? Darwin's philosophy on the "evolution by natural selection" is often misunderstood. In current society, the concept typically fosters competition, separation, fear and appears to prey on those considered weak or vulnerable. It seems to justify an attitude of everyone being out for themselves. We are typically cultured to believe that you take care of yourself and/or your own.

Cooperation and compassion are powerfully successful survival strategies. Examples of which can be found over and over again in nature and in modern society. And yet, when it comes to our day-to-day interactions, how many of us default to this idea of survival of the fittest? Our schools, homes, corporations promote the culture of survival of the fittest. Competition versus collaboration is seen as the road to success.

For the past few weeks, I've shared posts on compassion. Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, believes that, "Those who are nurtured best, survive best." He explains, "The brain is a social organ, it evolves to connect with other brains. When others feel something, we do too." We are all wirelessly connected. It's the foundation of empathy and compassion.

When we nurture children and adults, we ensure their survival. We promote their health and well-being. We enhance their learning. We support their overall growth, development and ability to not just survive, but to thrive. When our spirit is nurtured with feel hopeful, loved and connected.

Practicing compassion is nourishing to our heart and soul. We are never to old to nurture or to be nurtured. I invite us all to practice more compassion, to nurture each other. Imagine what the world would look like if we were all just a little bit more compassionate and nurturing to ourselves and to others.

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Cultivating Compassion

7/31/2018

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In last week's post I offered tips for cultivating self-compassion. In the book, The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama states, "In developing compassion, perhaps one could begin with the wish that oneself be free from suffering, and then take that natural feeling towards oneself and cultivate it, enhance it, and extend it out to include and embrace others."

Extending yourself through compassion toward someone in need is one of the quickest ways to feeling joy, fulfillment and happiness. When we ignore suffering, or we become so consumed with our own busy schedule that we miss the opportunity to practice compassion, we are missing opportunities to connect and foster relationships, to feel good about our selves and to feel happiness.

In addition to cultivating self-compassion, here are two additional ways to cultivate compassion:

Mindfulness
You can’t offer compassion if you don’t see the suffering around you. A lot of us are waling through life in what's being called an "urban trance". We are entrenched in the busyness of our lives, running on the hamster wheel of life and not paying attention to our own needs or the needs of those around us.

Mindfulness allows you to see what’s happening within and around you. Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally. Putting down the phone, shutting down the laptop, taking a few deep breaths, and observing your own body and mind. Do you feel tightness anywhere, is your mind replaying something you did “wrong,” or are you worrying about something you can’t control? Notice, label any feelings and breathe.

Then take a look around and notice what’s happening around you. What do you see? What do you hear and smell? Stopping and observing what's going on around you and within you is the first step toward cultivating more compassion.

An easy and awesome way to practice compassion for yourself and others is through a compassion meditation (usually called a loving-kindness or metta). I've included below a simple loving kindness meditation sample for you to try. I love to do this particular meditation while I am walking my dog. It's simple to do and makes me feel great!

Compassion for Humanity
You may find it easy to be compassionate toward family, friends, and others like you, but it can be more difficult to have compassion for people you don’t know of for individuals who you don’t particularly like or identify with. This is where it's becomes important to practice recognizing our common humanity.

There is basic commonality between all humans. Consider that everyone wants to be happy. Everyone has a mind, a body, and a heartbeat. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has fears. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be healthy and happy. It helps to remember that we are all one. Whatever effects you and impacts you in turn impacts me.

As the Dalai Lama states, "Once you encourage the thought of compassion in your mind, once that thought becomes active, then your attitude towards others changes automatically. If you approach others with the thought of compassion, that will automatically reduce fear and allow an openness with other people."

This takes some practice, but it can change the way you interact with the world. It will make you feel more connected to the world. Practicing a loving kindness mediation also helps to cultivate compassion for all of humanity.

I love what the Dalai Lama says about compassion in the book, The Art of Happiness, he says, "Within all beings there is the seed of perfection. However, compassion is required in order to activate that seed which is inherent in our hearts and our minds."

Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation
This meditation is the simple repetition of the following phrases:

May you be healthy and strong. May you be happy. May you be filled with love and ease.

-Directing them first toward someone you feel thankful for, someone who has helped you, or someone who you feel unconditional love for.

-Next direct them toward yourself.

-Next direct them toward someone you feel neutral about.

-Now direct them toward someone you struggle with, someone you are having a hard time with.

-Finally, direct them toward everyone in the Universe.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all practiced more compassion.

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Tips For Cultivating Self-Compassion

7/23/2018

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Last week's post discussed how compassion is healing. Compassion is a key component of happiness and overall wellness, and something that I personally believe is necessary to bring more healing to our world. As the Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." This week, I want to share additional information on cultivating compassion.

What is it about compassion that can bring happiness into your life? What if I'm not by nature a very compassionate person, can compassion be cultivated?

As I mentioned last week, the dictionary defines compassion as a feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is action oriented. It's bringing someone who is in need a meal, it's giving someone a ride, it's listening to someone going through a tough time, it's taking action to relieve someone's suffering in some way shape or form. We all at times practice compassion.

I consider compassion to be a spiritual practice. Developing and cultivating compassion is an integral part of my spiritual practice. It's been said that of all the world's various religions the one thing they all have in common is the emphasis on the practice of compassion. Compassion is service. Compassion is love. Compassion is kindness. Compassion makes us happier and healthier.

How compassionate do you consider yourself to be? In addition to practicing compassion for others, do you also practice self-compassion? How do we develop and cultivate compassion?

When I teach about compassion, I share three ways to cultivate compassion. I'll share one of these ways in this post and the remaining other two next week. The first way to develop and cultivate compassion is to focus on cultivating self-compassion.

In our American culture no one teaches us to tend to our own suffering. We help others, but a lot of the time neglect our own pain and suffering and how to care for ourselves. We beat ourselves up playing the woulda, coulda, shoulda game, engage in negative self-talk and keep plowing forward with our cup empty. So how do we exercise self-compassion?

What would I say to a close friend?
Imagine what you would say to a close friend who was experiencing the same thing you are in life. Typically, we are more compassionate, understanding, loving, kind and caring to a close friend than we are to ourselves. While we comfort a friend, with ourselves we typically engage in negative self-talk.

Be gentle and loving with yourself. Offer up the same care and words of support to yourself the same way that you would to a friend.

I am hurting, what can I do to help myself?
Acknowledge that you are hurting and give consideration to what you can do to help yourself...get extra rest, take a walk or a bubble bath, order out dinner, or accept the help of a loved one. Whatever you can do to relieve your suffering by taking extra special care of your own needs.

Touch
We often discount the importance of touch in comforting ourselves and relieving our pain and suffering. Give yourself a hug, ask for a hug, gently stroke your arm, or hold your hand the way you would for a loved one. Speaking kind and loving words to yourself while stroking your own arm or giving yourself a hug can be very soothing. Maybe tell yourself that even though this is hard that you will be okay, that you are enough, that you will be able to work through the challenge, etc.

Utilizing these techniques and offering yourself compassion is a key step to being able to extend compassion to others. Care for yourself during times of pain and suffering the way you would care for a loved one.

There are many benefits to high levels of self-compassion beyond happiness and wellness, it has been linked to less procrastination, less depression and more optimism. Also, people who exercise self-compassion are more likely to take ownership for their own mistakes.

I invite you to consider cultivating more self-compassion, it's an important key to happiness, wellness and healing.

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Compassion Is Healing

7/17/2018

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Do you intently practice compassion? Compassion is a topic that I love to continually explore, practice, learn more and share about. It's such an important spiritual practice and a key component to leading a life of well-being and happiness.

I recently began a year-long course on compassion and have also become aware of new research on compassion that I want to share with you.

Compassion is an action word...it's love in action. Compassion is doing something to relieve the suffering of others. The word "passion" means "suffering," and "com" means "with" or "together." Practicing both self-compassion and compassion toward others is important to healing and overall well-being.

Anthony William, a well-known author and medical medium, explains compassion this way, "Spirit is the living word compassion. The word compassion has a life force. Compassion is the glue to love, it's the bond, the foundation to love. Love is weak without compassion. When compassion isn't there, it's hard for love to be there."

When we are in pain, when we are suffering, our deepest need is compassion. Compassion is what helps us to heal. Practicing compassion is healing in a very physical and biological way within the body. Acts of compassion activate the "pleasure centers" of the brain and our body secretes oxytocin. This causes our heart rate to slow down, blood pressure is lowered, our immune system is boosted, inflammation is reduced, depression, stress and anxiety are lessened, we are more resilient and we have stronger relationships.

Dr. David Rakel is a researcher who develops models of compassionate care for physicians and their patients. Dr. Rakel's recent book, The Compassionate Connection: The Healing Power of Empathy and Mindful Listening, explores how medical professionals can integrate compassion, empathy and mindfulness into practice to transform healthcare and improve outcomes for patients. The research data supports that healing is significantly enhanced by compassionate care. Compassion is healing.

Dr. Rakel states that, "The role of the practitioner...the doctor, nurse, or other medical professional...is to become a therapeutic tool for healing." The "We'll get through this together" mode of operation.

Compassion creates a sense of connectedness. We recognize that we are not alone. I've shared in previous posts how detrimental loneliness is to our overall health and well-being. Compassion strengthens relationships and bonds people together.

Compassion is like a muscle, it can be strengthened with exercise and practice, or it can deteriorate and atrophy. Your capacity for compassion can expand, if you choose to cultivate it. Compassion benefits both the giver and the receiver. I will be sharing more on the practice of compassion, how to cultivate it for yourself, and for others, in future posts.

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The Myth Of Failure

7/10/2018

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I love this Wayne Dyer piece on failure and following your passion, the song within your heart. I often remind myself of his words and wanted to share them with you. I hope you enjoy them and find them to be a useful reminder too.

This may come as a surprise to you, but failure is an illusion. No one ever fails at anything. Everything you do produces a result. If you’re trying to learn how to catch a football and someone throws it to you and you drop it, you haven’t failed. You simply produced a result. The real question is what you do with the results that you produce. Do you leave, and moan about being a football failure, or do you say, “Throw it again,” until ultimately you’re catching footballs? Failure is a judgment. It’s just an opinion. It comes from your fears, which can be eliminated by love. Love for yourself. Love for what you do. Love for others. Love for your planet. When you have love within you, fear cannot survive. Think of the message in this ancient wisdom: “Fear knocked at the door. Love answered and no one was there.”

That music that you hear inside of you urging you to take risks and follow your dreams is your intuitive connection to the purpose in your heart since birth. Be enthusiastic about all that you do. Have that passion with the awareness that the word enthusiasm literally means “the God (enthos) within (iasm).” The passion that you feel is God inside of you beckoning you to take the risk and be your own person.

I’ve found that perceived risks are not risky at all once you transcend your fears and let love and self-respect in. When you produce a result that others laugh at, you’re also stirred to laughter. When you respect yourself, stumbling allows you to laugh at yourself as an occasional stumbler. When you love and respect yourself, someone’s disapproval is not something you fear and avoid. The poet Rudyard Kipling declared, “If you can meet triumph and disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same . . . yours is the earth and everything that’s in it.” The key word here is impostors. They’re not real. They exist only in the minds of people.

Follow your right brain, listening to how you feel, and play your own unique brand of music. You won’t have to fear anything or anyone, and you’ll never experience that terror of lying on your deathbed someday, saying, “What if my whole life has been wrong?” Your invisible companion on your right shoulder will prod you each and every time you’re moving away from your purpose. It makes you aware of your music. So listen—and don’t die with that music still in you.

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What Are We Celebrating?

7/2/2018

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In the United States, tomorrow is a national holiday. It's Independence Day, the day that the Declaration of Independence was adopted and the United States became an independent nation, no longer part of Great Britain.

What does the Fourth of July, Independence Day, and the Declaration of Independence, mean to you? What does it stand for? What are some of the things that come to mind, the values that come to mind? Does the American dream come to mind? What does it mean to be an American?

As I reflected on and explored the meaning of Independence Day, I have some thoughts for your consideration.

In America, we share the common belief that all people should have the freedom to live the way they want, to believe in whatever religion they choose, to speak, to vote, to own land, to work, no matter your background or status. It's about our individual rights as Americans. These freedoms created the belief in "The American Dream" and people from all over the world have desired to come to the United States to pursue it.

Per Wikipedia, "The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States, the set of ideals (democracy, rights, liberty, opportunity and equality) in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, as well as an upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers. The American Dream is rooted in the Declaration of Independence, which proclaims that 'all men are created equal' with the right to 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.'"

For most Americans, July 4th is a time to remember and celebrate our country and the people who helped create it and keep it free. A day to celebrate our gratitude for our freedom and independence. It's a day to be patriotic, to sport your red, white and blue. A day of pride. It's a day to recognize the significance of our culture and its history, to reflect on it's meaning and the legacy that has been created and is being created.

Freedom empowers us to be the best version of ourselves possible. It affords us the opportunity, and the responsibility, to keep an open mind and an open heart, to be all inclusive, to exercise empathy and compassion, to recognize liberty and justice for all, to love, honor and respect our fellow human-kind.

Freedom means to have a choice. We have a choice each and every moment of every day. A choice as to who we want to be, how we want to live, what we want to be our legacy. With choice comes opportunity and responsibility. Each of our individual choices combine to form the collective of who we are today, what we stand for, what we value, what will be our collective legacy. Legacy is created through choices both big and small. We as Americans have the freedom to decide...what does it mean to be an American?

Freedom means we have a say and a vote. The right to free speech, the right to express your thoughts and opinions. The right to speak and to listen with empathy and compassion, with love and with kindness. The right to discuss with your fellow Americans ideas and beliefs and opinions, problems and solutions. The right to exercise your belief through your vote. This right offers us opportunity and responsibility.

I invite all of us to reflect on what Independence Day means to each of us as we celebrate the Fourth of July. What does it mean to you to be American? Does it make you proud? Is it in alignment with your values? If not, what choices can you make to bridge the gap? Don't discount the power of your freedom.

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Shifting Energy

6/25/2018

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A few weeks ago, I shared strategies for shifting from head-centered living to heart-centered living. In this post, I want to share some additional tips for managing energy, how to set yourself up with energy that is in alignment with your intention, how to keep it in alignment throughout the day, and how to positively impact someone else's energy.

What are your energy shifters? Do you know how to shift yourself? Do you know how to positively shift others? There are many ways to shift energy. I've shared several different options in past posts. Having options in my toolbox that resonate with me has been important for me in living an intentional life.

The most important part of my energy practice includes setting my intention first thing in the morning. Part of how I do this is to affirm each morning things like...I am healthy, I am strong, I am happy, I am love, I am enough, I am forgiving, I am compassionate. I repeat these (whichever feel needed) throughout the day whenever I feel like I am stressed or frustrated, modifying them as necessary to address a particular experience that I am having.

Gratitude is also a go to energy shifter for me. It is also something that I practice every morning, as well as throughout the day and before bed. I love how my view on life, the lens through which I see the world, has shifted since bookending my day with gratitude.

Another energy shifter that I frequently use is putting my hand over my heart and focusing on filling my heart up with love and gratitude. It's feels great to take that feeling, that energy, and push it out into the universe. I inhale deeply and on the exhale envision sending out that feeling of love and gratitude into the world.

I also love using the STOP technique as a shifter. S...stop, T...take 3 deep breaths, O...observe how you feel and your environment, P...practice gratitude. Whatever options work best for you in establishing your daily intention and then carrying it out during the day and using it in the moment as needed to stay in alignment.

To positively shift the energy of someone else consider smiling at someone, maybe tell them that they are a really great person and that you appreciate them, or tell them that they have great energy. Then pay attention to how the energy shifts and changes, with them and with yourself.

Another easy and quick in the moment energy shift is simply to laugh. Even if you have to fake it to make it. It's not always an option, but it's a great way to release stress, raise the vibration and shift energy.

You have the ability to change the energy of a space, a place or a person either positively or negatively. Everything is energy, we are made of energy. It's important to remember that all energy is entangled. You cannot separate energy. It looks like my body has an end and your body has a beginning and that we are separate, but we really are not. Why is this important? My cells and energy and the energy field around me comingles with your energy and your energy field. There is really no place where I end and you begin.

The conscious mind is all energy. Thoughts are energy, they can actually be energetically measured. The invisible force of energy is more powerful at shaping the physical realm than the physical realm itself. Consciousness is the shaper of the universe in which we live, thought is what shapes the world. Scientists are finding that energy is more important at shaping your biology than chemistry is, that has amazing implications to our overall health and well-being.

I invite you to practice positively shifting your energy and the energy of the space, place and people around you. By staying heart-centered and outwardly expressing love, kindness and gratitude you are shifting energy and positively shaping the world.

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I Want To Share Something Important With You

6/19/2018

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I just want to take a moment to say something, to acknowledge something...you are AMAZING, you are an INCREDIBLE person, you are ENOUGH, yes you truly are! YOU are kind and caring and lovable and generous. You are a REFLECTION of our creator. Yes, each and every one of you is truly AWESOME!

No matter how you feel at this moment, or what is going on in your life, just pause and take a moment to let those words sink in...to FEEL them. Maybe put your hand over your heart-center and take a nice deep breath in and out and feel the words in your heart.

Remember that we are good, that we are a spirit having a human experience, that we need to be gentle with ourselves and with the other kind, loving, gentle souls that we interact with in this lifetime. We are ALL one. We are ALL here learning.

You, at your core, are deeply good. You don't need to operate from a place of fear. You are bigger than that, your light is brighter than that, you are more powerful than that, you KNOW within you a better way, it's called LOVE.

Don't be quick to judge...be quick to listen, to empathize, to be compassionate, to apologize, to forgive, to love.

Don't be quick to be right...be quick to understand, to hear another perspective, to be open to a different way, a different thought, a new direction, to love.

Don't be quick to bully, to manipulate, to control, to compete...be quick to collaborate, to compromise, to respect, to partner, to love.

You don't need to be those things, you are okay, you are safe, you are enough. Take the time to pause, to connect to your higher wisdom. Be gentle with yourself and be gentle with others. You may not know the state of their life and the impact, either positive or negative, that you may have on them.

Create a ripple, but let it be a positive ripple. One that emanates outward and creates more beauty, more love, more empathy, more compassion, more forgiveness along the way. There is enough harshness in this world already, spread more softness. You can never be too soft, too loving. Harshness creates more harshness.

Spread more of who you are into the world this week. Open your heart wide-open and share with the world your incredible spirit. Be gentle with yourself and be gentle with those other incredible spirits whose lives you will touch this week. Your heart, not your mind, is your greatest source of intelligence. Operate from your heart.

Go ahead and shine your big, beautiful, bright light. Be the reflection of God's light and love as you journey through this week.

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Living A Heart-Centered Life

6/12/2018

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Did you know that scientist have discovered that our heart is a "little" brain? Our heart contains sensory neurites that cause it to function as a second brain. Our heart contains memory of our experiences and carries its own intelligence. Growing evidence suggests that the heart and brain work together.

As Gregg Braden states in his book, Resilience From The Heart, "A growing body of scientific evidence now suggests that the pumping of the heart, as important as it is, may pale in comparison with the additional functions that have been recently discovered. In other words, while the heart indeed pumps blood powerfully and efficiently through the body, the pumping may not be its primary purpose."

Our heart constantly sends signals to our brain, however our brain sends much fewer signals back to our heart. By harmonizing our heart and our brain (heart-brain coherence) we can tap into deep intuition, heart-based intelligence and wisdom.

Signals generated from our heart to our brain determines what chemicals our brain tells our body to produce in response. Our body can produce stress induced chemicals or chemicals that promote feeling good, health, well-being and social connection.

Signals generated by the heart have the capacity to affect not only ourselves, but others around us as well. Our heart creates an energetic field which travels out from our body impacting the outside world.

For me, living a heart-centered life means tapping into this "little" second brain, this heart-based wisdom and intelligence. It means working to set aside my ego and approach life from my heart-center, which is a place of love and compassion. To be heart-centered is synonymous with tapping into our higher-self. Living from this state of being is optimal for health, healing, wisdom and intuition.

To stay heart-centered is an actual physical practice, and like all things by practicing we get better at it. We build strength and stamina. The practice includes pulling your awareness, from your head center (or your ego) to your heart center (or your higher-self).

The heart center is the area behind the sternum/breastbone, up to the top of the sternum (just below the Adam's apple) and back to between the shoulder blades. This whole area is considered your heart center.

Where you touch your awareness goes. Simply by placing my hand over my heart center for a few moments brings my focus and attention to my heart, which automatically creates a natural shift in my thoughts, feelings and energy. Where attention goes, energy flows. Go ahead and give it a try and see how it feels.

Now that your hand is over your heart center, steady or slow your breathing and bring into your heart space feelings of care, gratitude, compassion, or love for someone or something. Conjuring up these feelings, embracing them, savoring or sustaining them in your heart space while placing your hand over your heart center is key.

Next, if you would like, ask your heart a question. Maybe there is a decision you are trying to make but can't decide what you should do, ask your heart for the answer. Instead of making a list of pros and cons or using our brain's intellect, our heart-based intelligence knows what is in our highest and best good.

The wisdom of your heart already exists within you. It can be trusted and relied on to guide your life. It holds the key to your deepest truths. I invite you to practice using your heart-center more to guide you through life versus relying on your brain power. The wisdom carried in its guidance will best serve your highest and best good.

Gregg Braden, author of Resilience From The Heart, offers the following steps for accessing your heart’s intelligence:

Step 1: Focus Your Heart
Action: Allow your awareness to move from your mind to the area of your heart.
Result: This sends a signal to your heart that a shift has taken place—you are no longer engaged in the world around you and are now becoming aware of the world within you.

Step 2: Slow Your Breathing
Action: Begin to breathe a little more slowly than usual, allowing five to six seconds for your inhale and exhale.
Result: This simple step sends a second signal to your body that you are safe and in a place that supports your process. Deep, slow breathing has long been known to stimulate a relaxation response of the nervous system (the parasympathetic response).

Step 3: Feel a Rejuvenating Feeling
Action: To the best of your ability, feel a genuine sense of caring, appreciation, gratitude, or compassion for anything or anyone.
Result: The key to success here is for your feeling to be as sincere and heartfelt as possible. As described previously, it’s the quality of this feeling that fine-tunes and optimizes the coherence between your heart and your brain. While everyone is capable of this experience, it’s one of those processes that you may need to experiment with to find what works best for you.

Step 4: Ask Your Heart Intelligence a Question
Action: The previous three steps create the harmony between your brain and your heart that enables you to tap into your heart’s wisdom. As you continue to breathe and hold the focus in your heart, this is the time to ask your question.
Result: Heart intelligence generally works best when the questions are brief and to the point. Remember, your heart doesn’t need a preface or the history of a situation before the question. Ask your question silently as a single concise sentence and then allow your heart’s wisdom to respond in a way that works for you.

Step 5: Listen
Action: Become aware of how your body feels immediately as you are asking your question. Make a note of any sensations such as warmth, tingling, ringing of the ears, and emotions that may arise. Everyone learns and experiences uniquely. There is no correct or incorrect way of receiving your heart’s wisdom. The key here is to know what works best for you.
Result: For people who are already attuned to their bodies’ and their hearts’ intelligence, this step is the easiest part of the process. For those who may have less experience in listening to their bodies, this is an exercise in awareness.

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