Braving the Hot Mess

What Did I Do Spiritually Today?

9/16/2018

During busy or challenging times in life, we can fall prey to running on the hamster wheel of life and toss aside the practices that can support us through the challenges. Practices that keep us propped up, energized and full to move through them with grace and ease.

It's easy to make concessions in our schedule and stop exercising, getting enough rest, eating well, and it's easy to stop meditating, praying, being in a place of gratitude, being still, listening, letting go, asking for guidance, paying attention to our intuition, offering ourselves compassion.

We fall prey to trying to control life and prioritize the busyness over our practices that can help to sustain us. When this happens it's easy for life to feel overwhelming and like it's spiraling out of control, so we try to control it some more.

In last week's post, I invited you to stay in your magic when life gets tricky, to have faith and trust. Staying in your magic requires daily spiritual practice, especially during the messy challenging times. It doesn't have to be time-consuming or even the same each day, but practicing is key. It works best for me if I don't over-complicate it and allow my practice to be flexible.

I firmly believe that a few minutes of daily spiritual practice will reap the rewards ten-fold. It will buy you back the time you spent, in will keep you grounded and centered, it will help you be in the flow, it will keep you energized. When you are consistent with your spiritual practice you will be more productive and creative and life will unfold with a lot more ease.

Find the practices that resonate most with you. For me daily prayer, affirmations, meditation, gratitude, Reiki and exercise are my go to practices. I add in others on days where I have more time, but those are my consistent practices.

If you currently don't have a daily spiritual practice, I invite you to start one today. Give it a try for the next month and see how life shifts and changes for you.

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Stay In Your Magic

9/7/2018

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Sometimes life can get tricky, it can get messy and it can seem to make no sense at all. It doesn't always smell like roses and look like rainbow unicorns. Sometimes it's easy to throw in the towel and think I'm done for now, I give up for now, I have no idea what I am doing. Do you know what I mean? That's when we need a shifter, a tool in our toolbox to help us get through the muck of life without getting stuck in it.

Today, September 11th, marks a tricky day for me, it's a bittersweet day. It's a day where I very much remember the horrific tragedy that we collectively experienced, and it also signifies for me the day that I decided to live my life. The day that I decided to be brave and have the courage to step into my own unique magic. Especially on this day, I remember and honor those that have fallen, as well as my decision to learn from that experience and to live life with more passion, more authenticity, more vulnerability, more fullness, to live whole-hearted.

It's a day to reconfirm the choice to shine brighter, to sprinkle some magic, to throw a little glitter at the mess, to laugh at the craziness, to recognize that life can be tricky and messy, but it can also be beautiful and magical. It's up to us to find our way through it, to not get stuck in the muck, to use our tools.

The Chopra Center recently posted this on Facebook..."Every person has their own magic, bringing something into this world that no one else can. Trust that you are exactly who and where you are supposed to be and life is unfolding as it should. When things get tricky, turn to meditation. It's the best way to reconnect with your magic and align with the power of the universe." Turn to your tools. Meditation, gratitude and faith are amazing shifters and game-changers.

Our faith can be tested when we experience hardships, illness, disappointment and loss. It's at these difficult times that we can either rely on our faith or turn from it. By holding onto our faith, its possible to see hard times as part of the journey and not as a punishment. It's a belief that there's more to life than what's in this physical world.

The door is opened for the best things to occur when you let go of your fears and hesitations and just move forward with faith. I believe that everything is more powerful when it starts with faith and trust. Faith and trust in yourself, in your intuition and in a greater plan.

Faith is about trusting the journey, believing that there's a plan, within this plan there are lessons and choices. Faith is about being in a place of yes. Trusting your intuition and sense of knowing to keep you in the flow of life, not resisting against it. Letting go, surrendering control and fear and living in a place of trust.

Life can be tricky, but stay in your magic. Stay in the flow and allow your faith, heart and intuition to guide you. And always sprinkle a little magic and pixie dust along the way.

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What Are You Disciplined To?

9/4/2018

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It's the first day of school here in Wisconsin. With the start of a new school year, my mind shifts toward getting back to a routine, a schedule. I look at it in a similar way to how we look at the new year when it rolls around. It's a time to look at life and consider what tasks need attention, what has been let go over the summer months, and how I want the year to proceed. It's time to hunker down, get more serious and to get more disciplined.

As I look at getting "more disciplined" I like to remind myself of something I learned a few years ago (I can't remember who said it), it goes like this...The question is not whether we are disciplined, we are all disciplined. The question is, what are you disciplined to? This hit home for me. It's true isn't it? We are all disciplined, it's just what are we disciplined to that's the question.

Well, that was powerful realization for me. At times I've considered myself to not be a disciplined person. This simple shift gave me a whole new perspective. I am disciplined, it’s not a matter of me being disciplined, it’s more a matter of what I am disciplined to. These simple little perspective shifts can be super impactful. They cause us to look at something from a different point of view, a little bit different angle, and sometimes that’s all we need in order to catch ourselves and to create a shift.

Am I disciplined to watching TV or am I disciplined or to exercising? Am I disciplined to social media or am I disciplined to visiting with a friend? Am I disciplined to eating out or am I disciplined to planning and making meals? Am I disciplined to reading the news or to reading a book?

This week I invite you to reflect on what it is you are disciplined to and whether those items are serving you. Do you desire to create a shift and discipline yourself toward something different? Something that might bring more positivity, passion, meaning, or impact?

Fall is a great time of year to let go of the things that aren't serving you and say yes to a new discipline. Shake up your routine and blend in some new disciplines!

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Your Beliefs Impact Your Genes

8/28/2018

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I love learning about impactful research being done in many different scientific areas. One of these areas of research is called epigenetics. New research in the area of epigenetics is demonstrating that our genes don't control us, that we control our genes.

What scientists are finding is that our beliefs can change our biology. Certain combinations of genes can be turned on or off depending greatly on our frame of mind...what your mind perceives and believes. Our environment, including our thoughts, our feelings, and our belief systems influences genetic activity.

One of the scientists pioneering this area of research is Dr. Bruce Lipton. He explains, "You have the gene, but depending on how you live, how you respond, what your belief systems are, the expression of gene could be modified. Genes don't control anything, that they are just blueprints. Whereas 'epigenetic control'...control above the genes...turns everything on its head. The environment influences the selection and reading of genes. A person's health isn't generally a reflection of genes, but how their environment is influencing them."

He says that, "Between one-third and two-thirds of all healing is down to the placebo effect, not therapies, drugs or surgery. The placebo is just a sugar-pill – the patient is healed by the belief they'll get better: positive thinking. The nocebo effect is equally powerful, caused by negative thoughts. The belief you have a terminal illness can actually cause you to die, and negative thinking is much more common. Not just from yourself, but also the thoughts of people who are around you."

It's awesome when science is able to bring forth evidence that demonstrates the power of our minds, our thoughts, words, feelings, beliefs and actions. It supports and reinforces practices that I have personally experienced the benefits of putting into action.

It's about being mindful, living in the present, choosing intentional practices for positivity and, maybe most importantly, undoing the subconscious programming that we've been cultured to believe.

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I Have To...

8/15/2018

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How often do you start a sentence with the words...I have to, I need to, I must, I've got to? I know that I sometimes catch myself using these phrases. Sometimes it's a simple combination of words, that we don't even realize we are saying, however the choice and the intention is important and impactful.

It's not only impacting other people, but also it is telling the story of who we are. Our words share our story and frame who we are and what we believe to be truth. Our words create and reinforce either a positive or negative perspective, and ultimately a story. What story are you telling about who you are everyday?

I have to do this and I have to do that. I think we might all be surprised at how many times we automatically default to this type of word choice. The words "I have to" contains a negative implication of an unwanted obligation.

Resetting the phrase to something like "I get to" or "I choose to" or "I want to" changes the connotation to a positive. It indicates positivity, acceptance, appreciation and gratitude. This subtle shift is powerful in our brain and the vibration that is sent out into the universe.

Is it "I have to go to the grocery store." or is it "I am choosing to go to the grocery store." Because truth is, we really don't have to do most things unless we choose to right? We don't have to go to the dentist, we don't have to go to a dinner party, we don't even have to go to work. We are making choices, choices that benefit us in some way. Turn it around for a moment and think of the choice and the benefit.

The words we choose are important. They are impactful to ourselves and to others and create our story and our world. I "get to" creates an entirely different life experience than "I have to" does. What are you creating? What do you want to create? I am working on switching the "have to's" to "I get to" or "I choose to". I invite you to work on creating this subtle word and perspective shift in your life as well.

And remember, today's challenges...the "I have to's" (yardwork, kids, jobs, family, friends) most times were yesterday's dreams...

Here is a short, less than two minute, video on shifting from the "have to" mindset to the "get to" mindset. Enjoy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra0QumqI79Y

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This Is Why We Practice

8/14/2018

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This is a post that I shared almost 3 year ago. I was thinking about it this week and decided to share it again. It's one of my favorite reminders. I hope you enjoy it!

Do you sometimes wait until there is some type of crisis or immediate need before taking care of important things? For instance, waiting until you have a cold to take care of yourself. You feel the symptoms begin to surface, so you try to get more rest, you eat better, you take your supplements, drink your tea and try to gear up to fend it off.

I work hard to take care of my spirit, mind and body, but there are times when I am slacking off and not practicing what I know. I recently read two pieces written by Danielle LaPorte that really resonated with me. I have combined them into one and I want to share it with you in this week's post. I hope that you find it as intriguing as I did. Here it is.

I travelled to Dharamshala, India with six friends to meet with The Dalai Lama. It was cell-altering and heart-expanding.

The week before our arrival, there had been a horrible event in which some monks were murdered -- most shockingly, by other monks. The story was on everyone's mind and in our small, private meeting with His Holiness, the first thing we did was offer our condolences. His response captivated me.

"Ah, yes, thank you for your thoughts," he said. "This is why we practice, for times like these when compassion is so necessary." He didn't nod in mutual disdain. He didn't show any drama. He was soft and ... practical.

This is why we practice.

For times like these.

You don't need to forgive until you need to forgive. You don't need nerves of steel until you need nerves of steel. You don't need to call on your reserves of compassion, or fortitude, or faith until you've used up everything else.This is why we practice.

This is why, even when life is ambling along nicely and there's food in our spiritual cupboard, we still make sure that we get to yoga, or the reading group, or Sunday services.

When we're healthy and happy we make sure to dance, we hit the court, we pick up the phone to check in, we drop by with something in hand.

When we're believing in the fairness and the glory of human nature and the so-called Fates, we keep seeking, and meditating on reality, and praying for healing even though nothing obvious ails us. We keep up with our spiritual practice.

We keep standing up to make our art even when we could be predictable pedestrians.

Because the day will most certainly come, as it does whether you are a whole-hearted Lover or in denial of Grace, that you will be struck down or ground down by life. It can come in tiny tearing heartbreaks five times a day, just walking through your neighbourhood. It could come in the name of tragedy that could only happen once in a lifetime.

And you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart's escrow. And you will need to call on your people -- the unseen and the ones right in front of you -- to help you meet the day.

You will be interrupted.
You will be called on to expand.You will be asked who you are and why you are here.

This is why we practice.

Spiritual practice won’t stop crappy things from happening. Here’s the truly holistic picture: Life is full of crappy things, circumstances, feelings, emotions, and people with crazy-mean motives.

You can still get your heart broken when you’re enlightened. Illumination doesn’t spare the body — pundit Jiddu Krishnamurti dealt with wretched migraines, the beloved Thich Nhat Hanh recently suffered a debilitating stroke. Tragedies strike. Tsunamis engulf. Life hits, heals, caresses, and batters every one of us — the saints, the do-gooder’s, in sun salutations, and in repose.

But this...

Here's what soul practice does: It helps you handle the hard stuff when it comes. Every conscious in-breath/out-breath you take carves out space in your being for the ineffable mystery. And you really need to leave room for mystery if you want to stay sane. All of your dancing, and asanas, and sweaty finish lines are making it much easier to unfold, rather than grip and grind. The prayers, the declarations, the incantations… they’re an IV drip of grace, streaming into your nervous system.

Spiritual practice won't make you super human. But it will help you fall in love with your humanity.

You get to choose your response to even the things you can’t prevent. When you’re down on yourself because you can’t get over it, when the Creepy Creepertons are on your very last nerve, when you’re tired of being tired, or your heart is in pieces…the best self-help is self-compassion.

I love the "IV drip of grace" and the "you get to choose your response" and "you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart's escrow" and "you will be called on to expand. You will be asked who you are and why you are here." Which ones stood out to you? I would love to hear your feedback.

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We Are Not The Survival Of The Fittest. We Are The Survival Of The Nurtured.

8/7/2018

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Do you remember learning in school the concept of survival of the fittest? Darwin's philosophy on the "evolution by natural selection" is often misunderstood. In current society, the concept typically fosters competition, separation, fear and appears to prey on those considered weak or vulnerable. It seems to justify an attitude of everyone being out for themselves. We are typically cultured to believe that you take care of yourself and/or your own.

Cooperation and compassion are powerfully successful survival strategies. Examples of which can be found over and over again in nature and in modern society. And yet, when it comes to our day-to-day interactions, how many of us default to this idea of survival of the fittest? Our schools, homes, corporations promote the culture of survival of the fittest. Competition versus collaboration is seen as the road to success.

For the past few weeks, I've shared posts on compassion. Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, believes that, "Those who are nurtured best, survive best." He explains, "The brain is a social organ, it evolves to connect with other brains. When others feel something, we do too." We are all wirelessly connected. It's the foundation of empathy and compassion.

When we nurture children and adults, we ensure their survival. We promote their health and well-being. We enhance their learning. We support their overall growth, development and ability to not just survive, but to thrive. When our spirit is nurtured with feel hopeful, loved and connected.

Practicing compassion is nourishing to our heart and soul. We are never to old to nurture or to be nurtured. I invite us all to practice more compassion, to nurture each other. Imagine what the world would look like if we were all just a little bit more compassionate and nurturing to ourselves and to others.

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Cultivating Compassion

7/31/2018

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In last week's post I offered tips for cultivating self-compassion. In the book, The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama states, "In developing compassion, perhaps one could begin with the wish that oneself be free from suffering, and then take that natural feeling towards oneself and cultivate it, enhance it, and extend it out to include and embrace others."

Extending yourself through compassion toward someone in need is one of the quickest ways to feeling joy, fulfillment and happiness. When we ignore suffering, or we become so consumed with our own busy schedule that we miss the opportunity to practice compassion, we are missing opportunities to connect and foster relationships, to feel good about our selves and to feel happiness.

In addition to cultivating self-compassion, here are two additional ways to cultivate compassion:

Mindfulness
You can’t offer compassion if you don’t see the suffering around you. A lot of us are waling through life in what's being called an "urban trance". We are entrenched in the busyness of our lives, running on the hamster wheel of life and not paying attention to our own needs or the needs of those around us.

Mindfulness allows you to see what’s happening within and around you. Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally. Putting down the phone, shutting down the laptop, taking a few deep breaths, and observing your own body and mind. Do you feel tightness anywhere, is your mind replaying something you did “wrong,” or are you worrying about something you can’t control? Notice, label any feelings and breathe.

Then take a look around and notice what’s happening around you. What do you see? What do you hear and smell? Stopping and observing what's going on around you and within you is the first step toward cultivating more compassion.

An easy and awesome way to practice compassion for yourself and others is through a compassion meditation (usually called a loving-kindness or metta). I've included below a simple loving kindness meditation sample for you to try. I love to do this particular meditation while I am walking my dog. It's simple to do and makes me feel great!

Compassion for Humanity
You may find it easy to be compassionate toward family, friends, and others like you, but it can be more difficult to have compassion for people you don’t know of for individuals who you don’t particularly like or identify with. This is where it's becomes important to practice recognizing our common humanity.

There is basic commonality between all humans. Consider that everyone wants to be happy. Everyone has a mind, a body, and a heartbeat. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has fears. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be healthy and happy. It helps to remember that we are all one. Whatever effects you and impacts you in turn impacts me.

As the Dalai Lama states, "Once you encourage the thought of compassion in your mind, once that thought becomes active, then your attitude towards others changes automatically. If you approach others with the thought of compassion, that will automatically reduce fear and allow an openness with other people."

This takes some practice, but it can change the way you interact with the world. It will make you feel more connected to the world. Practicing a loving kindness mediation also helps to cultivate compassion for all of humanity.

I love what the Dalai Lama says about compassion in the book, The Art of Happiness, he says, "Within all beings there is the seed of perfection. However, compassion is required in order to activate that seed which is inherent in our hearts and our minds."

Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation
This meditation is the simple repetition of the following phrases:

May you be healthy and strong. May you be happy. May you be filled with love and ease.

-Directing them first toward someone you feel thankful for, someone who has helped you, or someone who you feel unconditional love for.

-Next direct them toward yourself.

-Next direct them toward someone you feel neutral about.

-Now direct them toward someone you struggle with, someone you are having a hard time with.

-Finally, direct them toward everyone in the Universe.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all practiced more compassion.

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Tips For Cultivating Self-Compassion

7/23/2018

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Last week's post discussed how compassion is healing. Compassion is a key component of happiness and overall wellness, and something that I personally believe is necessary to bring more healing to our world. As the Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." This week, I want to share additional information on cultivating compassion.

What is it about compassion that can bring happiness into your life? What if I'm not by nature a very compassionate person, can compassion be cultivated?

As I mentioned last week, the dictionary defines compassion as a feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is action oriented. It's bringing someone who is in need a meal, it's giving someone a ride, it's listening to someone going through a tough time, it's taking action to relieve someone's suffering in some way shape or form. We all at times practice compassion.

I consider compassion to be a spiritual practice. Developing and cultivating compassion is an integral part of my spiritual practice. It's been said that of all the world's various religions the one thing they all have in common is the emphasis on the practice of compassion. Compassion is service. Compassion is love. Compassion is kindness. Compassion makes us happier and healthier.

How compassionate do you consider yourself to be? In addition to practicing compassion for others, do you also practice self-compassion? How do we develop and cultivate compassion?

When I teach about compassion, I share three ways to cultivate compassion. I'll share one of these ways in this post and the remaining other two next week. The first way to develop and cultivate compassion is to focus on cultivating self-compassion.

In our American culture no one teaches us to tend to our own suffering. We help others, but a lot of the time neglect our own pain and suffering and how to care for ourselves. We beat ourselves up playing the woulda, coulda, shoulda game, engage in negative self-talk and keep plowing forward with our cup empty. So how do we exercise self-compassion?

What would I say to a close friend?
Imagine what you would say to a close friend who was experiencing the same thing you are in life. Typically, we are more compassionate, understanding, loving, kind and caring to a close friend than we are to ourselves. While we comfort a friend, with ourselves we typically engage in negative self-talk.

Be gentle and loving with yourself. Offer up the same care and words of support to yourself the same way that you would to a friend.

I am hurting, what can I do to help myself?
Acknowledge that you are hurting and give consideration to what you can do to help yourself...get extra rest, take a walk or a bubble bath, order out dinner, or accept the help of a loved one. Whatever you can do to relieve your suffering by taking extra special care of your own needs.

Touch
We often discount the importance of touch in comforting ourselves and relieving our pain and suffering. Give yourself a hug, ask for a hug, gently stroke your arm, or hold your hand the way you would for a loved one. Speaking kind and loving words to yourself while stroking your own arm or giving yourself a hug can be very soothing. Maybe tell yourself that even though this is hard that you will be okay, that you are enough, that you will be able to work through the challenge, etc.

Utilizing these techniques and offering yourself compassion is a key step to being able to extend compassion to others. Care for yourself during times of pain and suffering the way you would care for a loved one.

There are many benefits to high levels of self-compassion beyond happiness and wellness, it has been linked to less procrastination, less depression and more optimism. Also, people who exercise self-compassion are more likely to take ownership for their own mistakes.

I invite you to consider cultivating more self-compassion, it's an important key to happiness, wellness and healing.

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Compassion Is Healing

7/17/2018

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Do you intently practice compassion? Compassion is a topic that I love to continually explore, practice, learn more and share about. It's such an important spiritual practice and a key component to leading a life of well-being and happiness.

I recently began a year-long course on compassion and have also become aware of new research on compassion that I want to share with you.

Compassion is an action word...it's love in action. Compassion is doing something to relieve the suffering of others. The word "passion" means "suffering," and "com" means "with" or "together." Practicing both self-compassion and compassion toward others is important to healing and overall well-being.

Anthony William, a well-known author and medical medium, explains compassion this way, "Spirit is the living word compassion. The word compassion has a life force. Compassion is the glue to love, it's the bond, the foundation to love. Love is weak without compassion. When compassion isn't there, it's hard for love to be there."

When we are in pain, when we are suffering, our deepest need is compassion. Compassion is what helps us to heal. Practicing compassion is healing in a very physical and biological way within the body. Acts of compassion activate the "pleasure centers" of the brain and our body secretes oxytocin. This causes our heart rate to slow down, blood pressure is lowered, our immune system is boosted, inflammation is reduced, depression, stress and anxiety are lessened, we are more resilient and we have stronger relationships.

Dr. David Rakel is a researcher who develops models of compassionate care for physicians and their patients. Dr. Rakel's recent book, The Compassionate Connection: The Healing Power of Empathy and Mindful Listening, explores how medical professionals can integrate compassion, empathy and mindfulness into practice to transform healthcare and improve outcomes for patients. The research data supports that healing is significantly enhanced by compassionate care. Compassion is healing.

Dr. Rakel states that, "The role of the practitioner...the doctor, nurse, or other medical professional...is to become a therapeutic tool for healing." The "We'll get through this together" mode of operation.

Compassion creates a sense of connectedness. We recognize that we are not alone. I've shared in previous posts how detrimental loneliness is to our overall health and well-being. Compassion strengthens relationships and bonds people together.

Compassion is like a muscle, it can be strengthened with exercise and practice, or it can deteriorate and atrophy. Your capacity for compassion can expand, if you choose to cultivate it. Compassion benefits both the giver and the receiver. I will be sharing more on the practice of compassion, how to cultivate it for yourself, and for others, in future posts.

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<<Previous

What Did I Do Spiritually Today?

Stay In Your Magic

What Are You Disciplined To?

Your Beliefs Impact Your Genes

I Have To...

This Is Why We Practice

We Are Not The Survival Of The Fittest. We Are The Survival Of The Nurtured.

Cultivating Compassion

Tips For Cultivating Self-Compassion

Compassion Is Healing

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