Blog Posts - Braving the Hot Mess

Intentional Joy

10/23/2020

With all that is going on in life right now it can be easy to get sucked into feeling negative, stressed, anxious and even depressed. During times like this it can be a challenge to feel positive and joyful. Even the most mindful and intentional people can get pulled off their path.

Now more than ever it's important for us to intentionally create and discover moments of joy within each day and week, to creatively build them into our calendar. One of my friends shared with me how she is actively scheduling in joyful experiences each week. Things to look forward to, experience and create positive joy-filled memories to reflect upon. Things as simple as a weekly autumn drive in the country help to add meaning and joy into our life.

My daily go to is walking out in nature. Soaking in and nourishing my soul with the beauty and peacefulness that nature provides with the added benefit of moving my body. It's an overall win-win combination for me.

My sister shared with me that each day she is intentionally identifying what she calls "the great delight" of the day. This can be anything big or small. The sound of the neighborhood creek as it flows along the walking path, the beauty of the snow falling (yes, even though it's only October), the voice of a grandchild while FaceTiming. All of these seemingly ordinary moments become moments of joy with intention.

As we journey through the next days, weeks and months I invite you to join me in creating and discovering daily moments of joy, in whatever way joy looks for you. Carve them out for yourself in big and small ways. Get curious and creative with what joy looks and feels like and schedule it into your calendar. Cook one of your favorite comfort foods, decorate with something spooky on your doorstep, tell a friend a silly joke, pay attention to the people in your life that support you...whatever might bring more joy into your life. Consider making it a game with your family and see how much joy you can collectively create and find!

Each day take a moment to identify, reflect and savor the moments of joy. This works really well for me at bedtime as I'm doing my gratitude practice. It's a great way to end the day and settle our mind on a positive experience. During these challenging times intentionally building joy into our life is an important way to keep our vibration high, be resilient and gracefully maneuver through and not get stuck in the muck.

Hilltop Guided Meditation

10/15/2020

My sister Kathy and I created another free meditation for you called the Hilltop Guided Meditation. We designed it to take you on a journey that will raise you up to view your life from a higher vantage point, utilizing the powerful tool of visualization. This meditation is perfect for those times when you are looking for clarity, inspiration or direction.

Visualization is a great way to work toward achieving your dreams and changing your belief systems. You can’t be what you can’t see. If you can visualize it into being, then you can create it into being.

Your beliefs are very important. They help dictate and ultimately determine how you view life and what you believe to be possible. Keeping your view broad and open removes the limitations that you put on yourself and your dreams and sets you up for grander possibilities. In other words, holding your vision softly, loosely, not gripping on too tight to the details is key. With a broad vision and clearly defined intentions, everything in your conscious, subconscious, and higher mind will focus on supporting them. Where your attention goes, energy flows.

Being on the hilltop is a sacred place, an altar. The altar is a spiritual place of sacrifice, offering, healing, surrender and prayer. Altars are where the divine and human world connect and interact. A place of exchange, communication, and influence. Spiritual growth happens when you bring it to the altar. It’s the driving force propelling all of your dreams.

We hope you find the Hilltop Guided Meditation useful as another tool to enhance your personal and spiritual growth and development. You can find it on the Braving the Hot Mess YouTube channel at youtu.be/PBdYxYaCO0U.

You Matter

10/13/2020

Do you believe that you matter? That what you think matters? That what you say matters? That how you believe matters? That what you do matters? And by matters, I mean that you are impactful. Impactful to not only you, but also to those around you, to the world and to the universe as a whole.

As we go through life in our own little bubble, up inside our own heads, it can be easy to feel like who we are, what we think, believe, say and do doesn't matter that much in the measurement of the whole. That they don't have a measurable impact on our own lives directly, let alone have an impact on those around us, or on the world.

Do you remember my rice experiment? If you haven't seen it yet, or if you haven't seen it in a while, I invite you to look back at my January 27, 2015 post. The rice experiment is something that I did with my family and it's a wonderful demonstration of how what we say, think, and believe matter. Our words and our thoughts vibrate out into the universe on a frequency and are impactful to those around us and to ourselves. What we do matters.

Did you know that even observing someone who is stressed or negative has an immediate effect on our own nervous system? We don't even have to see or hear someone to pick up on their stress or negativity, because our bodies are designed to smell it. Your brain can detect "alarm pheromones" that are released by others. Negativity and stress can literally waft into your space. What we do matters.

You may never know the impact that you have on others, but what you do indeed matters. Whether you are a student, a professional, a homemaker, or a homeless person...no matter your profession, your status, or your walk in life, what we do matters.

Recent research demonstrates the power of what we think, say and believe. It demonstrates the health implications, the relationship effects, the impact on our success, the implications to our earnings, to our productivity, our creativity, and our overall happiness. YOU matter and what YOU do matters.

During these challenging times, I invite you to very intentional about how you matter in this world. Let your thoughts, words and actions spread love, joy and positivity out into the world as much as possible. You are powerful and impactful, more than what you will probably ever know while on this earth.

Two Free Guided Meditations

10/6/2020

Do you have a difficult time with meditation because your mind tends to wander and you end up feeling like you just can't do it? Guided meditations are a powerful tool because you’re guided through the meditation and your mind tends to listen and follow along and isn’t as easily distracted by other thoughts.

There can also be a visual element to guided meditation that engages your imagination and takes you on a journey. My sister Kathy and I have recorded two separate guided meditations for you to use which fall into this visual category.

The first is ‘I Am A Being of Love and Light’ and was chosen to assist you in centering with your Divine Source. This is a short meditation that will help you get calm and move into the beauty of your divine self as you become the amazing being of light that you truly are. With practice, you can even quickly do this with your imagination at any time during the day to help calm and center yourself. This is a great meditation especially for those moments where you are struggling to find your light and positivity.

The second is a ‘Heart Connection’ and is designed to help you get centered into your heart space and blossom your divine energy from this part of your body. We then guide you to build a bridge to another person and make a heart-to-heart connection with them. The more you practice growing this energy in your heart, the faster you’ll be able to make a heart connection with anyone (even on the fly). You can do this with a loved one, before entering an important meeting, or prior to having a conversation with someone you don’t know (whether in person or on social media).

We hope you find these two guided meditations useful as another tool to enhance your personal and spiritual growth and development. You can find them on the Braving the Hot Mess YouTube channel. Here are the links:

I Am A Being of Love and Light Meditation
www.youtube.com/watch?v=59LpfOIYnzY&t=611s

Heart Connection Meditation
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbYoWOgfVw0&t=7s

What Would Jesus Do If He Was Alive Today?

9/28/2020

Lately in a few different discussions the question has come up...What in these challenging times would Jesus do if he was alive? I'll share some of my thoughts and I've attached an article that does a nice job of also answering this question.

Jesus' teachings were subversive, actually his whole life was subversive. He was a radical man who disrupted the social and religious norms of his day. He upended cultural norms, challenged authorities, undermined and threatened the establishment. He challenged them and applied his influence to lead his followers to do the same. Jesus protested what was taking place in his day. Disrupting adverse conditions and going against the norm is what Jesus did. He not only stood up for the little person, but also against the corrupt capitalists of the time and the established religious political system as well.

He was a trouble-maker, a dissident and a source of irritation to the establishment. As far as the ruling authorities were concerned, Jesus was a huge pain in the ass.

If Jesus were alive today, I believe he would be in the front lines doing everything that he could to shine a light on injustice, challenge authorities and shake things up so as to lift up the oppressed and the poor. He would not turn a blind eye to it, rather he would be leading the charge. That is what Jesus' life demonstrated to us.

The article below delves a little deeper into this topic. It resonates with me, so I wanted to share it with you.

What Would Jesus Do Today? Protest
Tom Rapsas

Imagine for a moment that Jesus was alive and walking the Earth today. Would he be hanging out with Christian churchgoers, attending Bible study and weekday services? Or would he be on the front lines with those seeking justice, marching arm-in-arm with the masses, demanding fair and equitable treatment for all?

Re-reading Sister Joan Chittister’s 2019 book The Time is Now, the 84-year old Benedictine nun and social activist makes it easy to see what Jesus would be doing today: Jesus would be on the front lines supporting those who are oppressed and those who support them.

Jesus met an early death at age 33 (though some scholars say 34 or 35) and let’s not forget the reasons behind his death. While we may read his words for guidance and inspiration today, during his time his words were a threat to those in power. His ideas threatened to disrupt the status quo of both the Roman Empire and the religious leaders at the Temple. Chittister explains it this way:

If people continued to follow Jesus in growing numbers, such new ideas, such dangerous insights could have toppled the tightly held authority of both Temple and Throne. New ideas endanger old systems, old rulers. They cast doubt on their moral integrity because if this new thing is right, then the old thing was wrong, or at least deeply lacking.

Many in our society today live by these old ideas and as a result, Chittister warns that we have become complacent, “a privileged people in a privileged world.” We live in our own bubble, oblivious to the plight of others who don’t share our social standing or skin color, our race or religion. Chittister reminds us that this was not the path of Jesus who reached down to lift up all others:

Jesus healed the outcast and the enemy. He gathered women as well as men to his side. He chastised leaders who overlooked the poor. He stood up and in a clear voice declared wrong any policies, sacred or secular, that burdened the backs of the powerless and crushed the spirits of the poor.

The solution to our current societal ills? Sister Joan challenges us to “live as Jesus lived” and to “follow in the footsteps of Jesus in our own communities and social system.” This is not the sanitized version of Jesus that dwells in many churches and in our popular culture. This is a more radical Jesus, the one who moves amongst all people, regardless of their age, race, sex or standing in life:

Jesus models for all of us what it means to live outside the norms of a society that has forgotten its soul. He did justice for Samaritans, for Romans, for sinners in the very face of injustice. He spoke the language of equality in everything he did.

Chittister believes that Jesus again wants us to follow his lead, to stand up for the poor and the persecuted, to speak out for those who have no voice or whose voice has been ignored for too long. She asks us to take action when we see or hear about acts that are spiritually and morally indefensible—and there may be no acts more morally indefensible as the police brutality we have seen on our TV screens. She states:

We often ignore, resist, reject the idea that, like Jesus, we have a role to play in righting a world whose axle is tilting in the wrong direction….to follow Jesus means that we, too, must each do something to redeem our battered, beaten world from the greed that smothers it.

She reminds us that the while Jesus could be loving and kind, he had another side. This Jesus challenged religious “authorities” and their antiquated views. This Jesus, when he sensed spiritual laws were being broken, upended the moneychangers’ tables in the Temple. Chittister writes:

There is no room for maintaining the perfect spiritual routine, the antiseptic moral cleanliness… none of that marked the life of Jesus himself, who consorted with sinners, healed foreigners, called women to discipleship, contended with scribes about the nature of faith, and irritated the leaders of both religion and government.

We have to be about something greater than ourselves.

The line above from Chittister is a reminder that we must sometimes fight our own complacency and our belief there is nothing we can do. In her words, “The work of God is in our hands. To ignore that is to ignore the very fullness of life.” It is up to us to “speak up and speak out.” She tells us that:

Those who risk nothing, risk much more. While we keep our heads down, our mouths closed, our public reputations unblotted, thanks to the silence we keep in the face of great public issues of the day, the pillars of society erode around us. The Constitution flounders against the political ambitions of the very people pledged to protect it.

In the words of Barack Obama, we are the change we seek. We are the ones who must lead, influence, participate, teach those in need of teaching, discuss and push for legislative solutions to our current problems. In the absence of a return of Jesus, we must be the ones to do the work of God here on Earth.

Season Of Change

9/21/2020

Today marks the change in season from summer to fall. Autumn draws our attention to the crisp fall air, the beautiful fall colors, to pumpkins and apples. It's an invitation to let these changes stir us to pay attention to our spiritual season as well.

This is a season for doing deep inner work. A time to understand that love is more than a feeling, love is what you do. What you do for yourself and to the collective whole. We are all being called to go inward. What work is there for you to do?

The fall or autumn equinox is a time of balance between the day and night before the night takes over. This duality between light and dark exists within our human spirituality as well. Just like with nature as it prepares for the winter months, all things must die before they can be born again in the spring.

Spiritual growth requires facing our own inner darkness and overcoming it. Spiritually, the autumn equinox symbolizes inner preparation and work. It's about connecting and harmonizing your soul and spirit in sacred ceremony with nature.

The fall equinox is a time of shedding, a time of letting go, a time of release. Following the cue of nature...just as the leaves are falling from the trees, so too shall we release, let go, and shed things in our lives that no longer serve us. Letting things fall away that are no longer in our highest and best good, that are no longer serving us in our lives.

What are those items for you? What things are no longer serving you? Maybe it's a story you have been telling yourself, maybe it's a habit, maybe it's someone in your life. I invite you to spend some time in reflection contemplating what is working in your life and what isn't. What might need shedding in order to make room for something that better serves you?

I invite you to slow down a little bit, to appreciate moments out in nature before the cold sets in, and to spend time being still in reflection while you watch the season change. Take time to sit back and reflect on the fruits of your own labor. Where were you a year ago today? How far have come over the course of the past year or even since the spring? Now is a good time to see how far you’ve come and to set goals to carry you through the winter months. The intentions you set this fall will stay with you throughout the winter and carry you into the spring.

Traditionally, the autumn equinox is also a time of harvest and for expressing gratitude for its abundance. As you reflect, take time to express gratitude for the fruits of your own labor. For your own accomplishments and growth. Give yourself a pat on the back for all of your strides forward, no matter the size, big and small. Celebrate the abundance.

As you are reflecting and setting your intentions, remind yourself that you are enough. As a matter of fact, you are amazing! Just the way you are right at this very moment in time. You are doing exactly what you are meant to do. Sure, we can all grow and improve and stretch and learn and do more, but this is not the woulda, coulda, shoulda game. You are enough right here and right now. You are perfectly imperfect!

Before You Speak...

9/15/2020

We've all heard the phrase, "Think before you speak" right? I've heard it and I've worked on practicing it, but boy sometimes it's easy to quickly respond and say something, or to remain in old patterns. Sometimes I speak and then wish I hadn't. I wish I would have made a better choice, I wish I could pull the words back into my mouth. Ever had a time (or two) like that?

Our words have power, they are impactful to ourselves and to others. Some words of wisdom, some rules to live by, that I have found helpful are from the poet Rumi, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, ‘Is it true?’ At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’ At the third gate ask, ‘Is it kind?”

You take one gate at a time and move through the process to determine what, if, when and how this communication should take place.

Gate #1: Is it true?
Is what you are about to say true? Is it factual? This not only addresses whether the communication is hearsay, but also whether it's based on perception. Use this gate to determine if this is perception or fact. If it's truth, you can move on to Gate #2.

Gate #2: Is it necessary?
There is an old yogic wisdom that goes something like, “If your words aren’t benefiting the universe don’t say them.” The idea is don’t allow your ego to do the speaking.

Another way to look at this one is to ask yourself, "Does it add value?" and/or "Does it improve the silence?"

This also brings up the concept of being right. Sometimes we feel a strong need to be right at all costs. You may want to ask yourself, "Do you want peace or do you want to be right?"

If it's true and it's necessary, you can move on to Gate #3.

Gate #3: Is it kind?
Is what you are about to say kind and compassionate? Is the timing of it being said kind and compassionate? Are the words and the phrasing that you are choosing kind and loving or frustrated and harsh?

You are the gatekeeper of your words. Sometimes we need to take a moment to stop and to think before we speak. It helps me to stop and take a deep belly breath in and then push it all out a couple of times. This helps me to interrupt my normal pattern, my normal response, my normal mode of operation and consider a different approach...which may include silence. I don't always get it right, I'm definitely a work in progress :)

Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? I invite you to answer these 3 questions before you speak.

Centering Morning Prayer

9/8/2020

I've shared in previous posts about my morning prayer ritual and how it has served as a powerful and intentional way for me to begin my day. Part of this practice includes a centering morning prayer that I really love and want to also share with you. It's a morning prayer that I learned from author Shauna Niequist.

Here is Shauna's centering morning prayer. Start by envisioning a symbol that represents God. Picture a word or an image of God. It can be anything. It can be the word love. It can be a heart. Whatever for you is a symbol that represents or reminds you of God. Focus the full attention of your spirit, mind, heart and body on this symbol for several minutes. Shauna recommends at least 3 minutes.

As you are focusing on this symbol, recognize that there is nothing you need to do to get more of God's love because you can't get more love than you already have. There is also nothing that you can do to relinquish this love because it's always there no matter what. You are already worthy.

Have a sense of freedom to go off and journey through and experience your day with the knowingness that you always carry this love with you. Don't be afraid to take risks, to fail, to experience, to rest and relax because your worth is not on the line every day. You can't do anything that will take away this love.

Isn't that a relief? You don't have to be perfect, in fact you don't have to do anything to receive God's love. You can experiment and possibly even make mistakes and still be loved.

I wanted to share this prayer with you because it not only reminds us that we are unconditionally loved, but it helps to take that intellectual concept and allow it to settle into our bones, into our heart, our soul and our spirit. It reminds us that we are deeply loved and created on purpose. That we are all perfectly and beautifully imperfect. Every single one of us.

As Shauna states, "It's a reminder that there is nothing that you can do in the course of a day that will ruin, or squander, or break, or fracture his love for you. There's no mistake too great. And, there's nothing that you can do to get more of his love...to earn more, to prove more, to get more. It's already all there."

I also wanted to share it because with this prayer comes a sense of freedom. Freedom to not have to prove your worthiness. Freedom to not be perfect. Freedom to experience life and make mistakes. Freedom to afford yourself some slack to explore. Freedom to offer yourself compassion and forgiveness.

I invite you to give it a try. Start your day off with this centering morning prayer. And while you're at it, consider adding the rest of my morning prayer ritual to it as well :) Here it is:

Good morning Soul. Good morning God. Who am I? Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say and to whom?

Pausing after each question to listen for an answer and to intentionally answer the question...who am I? Each and every day affirming who I am. I am love, I am peace, I am a child of God, etc.

My morning prayer continues with expressions of gratitude and of a willingness to serve, and includes other personal items that I may have on my mind that day. I've mentioned in previous blog posts how very important I believe gratitude to be. I start and end my day with gratitude and spend time several moments throughout my day offering up expressions of gratitude.

What Role Will You Play?

9/1/2020

I like the analogy that is sometimes used about life being a stage upon which we are all acting out our lives. I believe that God created the theatre and set the stage for us here on earth. We're here playing out our role within the scene. All of our individual roles, which include our individual choices, intentions, thoughts and feelings, actions, behaviors and beliefs, weave together and culminate into and form the collective.

I believe that the chaos that is currently playing out on the stage of life is indicative of how we have lost our way. We have gone off script and forgotten the role we are playing and our part. So, the question becomes...What role and part are you playing? Are you on script or are you lost on stage?

Here's the thing...when you change your individual role or part everyone around you is prompted to change there's too. This can be for the betterment (back on script) or detriment (off script). If you change your role or the part you are playing, everyone is forced to make a choice in how they react. It would be a struggle to continue to follow the same script when you've made an adjustment within your role or part.

I invite each of us to go inward and examine the role and part that you are playing, to examine your heart. Ask yourself whether you are playing out your role and your part with intention. What is that intention? Is it in alignment with God, with your purpose and your script?

An easy way to gauge whether you are on script, on purpose, is whether your intention and related choices come from a place of love or a place of fear. Fear offers up a lot of excuses and "buts". It's often disguised as love...love for self, or for a certain group of individuals, or as a way that will somehow eventually lead to love. Ultimately though it's fear and only leads to more fear.

Have you been asking yourself what's up with the year 2020? I know I have. The pandemic, racism, sexism, protests, uncertainty, the election, just to name a few key topics. People are hurting, change and healing is needed. Change and healing can begin by an inward examination and outward expression of our true script. A script that is on purpose and in alignment with God, with love and with our soul.

Do You Procrastinate?

8/18/2020

Do you procrastinate? Most of us do for at least periods of time each day. In one study of 2,219 participants, 88% of them indicated that they procrastinate for at least one hour each day. Even highly driven and accomplished people can be procrastinators.

Procrastination is often confused with laziness, but they are different. Procrastination is an active process of choosing to do something else instead of the task that you know you should be doing. In contrast, laziness suggests apathy, inactivity and an unwillingness to act. Procrastination usually involves ignoring an unpleasant, but likely more important task, in favor of one that is more enjoyable or easier.

Even minor procrastination can make us feel guilty or ashamed and can lead to reduced productivity and cause us to not achieve our goals. If we procrastinate over a long period of time, we can become demotivated and disillusioned, which can lead to depression and even job loss, in extreme cases.

Procrastination is a habit and if you understand how it shows up, you can make the choice to replace it with a better one. The first step to making a better choice is to recognize that you’re procrastinating...having the self-awareness to identify that you are making the choice to procrastinate.

The second step is to understand why. It's helpful to understand the reason(s) why you are procrastinating and allow that to help you strategize on how to change it. Here are some common reasons why people procrastinate:

The task seems boring or unpleasant
Disorganization
The task seems overwhelming
Worried about failure, doubt your abilities
Fear of success and potentially having more tasks added to your plate
Have a need for perfection

Below are some strategies to help to break the habit of procrastination. Habits only stop being habits when you avoid practicing them, so try as many strategies as possible to give yourself the best possible chance of succeeding.

Commit to the task. Write down the tasks that you need to complete, and specify a time for doing them. Set weekly and daily "To Do Lists" that are prioritized with the 2-3 most critical tasks first.
Aim to due the most unpleasant tasks first thing, every day. Get those tasks that you find least pleasant out of the way first. This gives you the rest of the day to focus on work that you find more enjoyable.
Break large tasks down into smaller more manageable chunks. Focus on starting them, rather than on finishing them. Consider setting a timer for short manageable periods of time and go hard at it for reasonable time blocks.
Promise yourself a reward. If you complete a difficult task on time, reward yourself and then work to savor the positive feeling.
Ask someone to check up on you. Have an anti-procrastination buddy.
Temptation bundle. Only do a thing you love while also doing a thing you procrastinate on. For example, listen to podcast (something you like) while running on the treadmill (something you don't like).
Act as you go. Tackle tasks as soon as they arise, rather than letting them build up. I love the concept of...touch it once.
Rephrase your internal dialog. The phrases "need to" and "have to," for example, imply that you have no choice in what you do. This can make you feel disempowered. Saying, "I choose to," implies that you own a project, and can make you feel more in control.
Minimize distractions. Turn off your email and social media, and avoid sitting anywhere near a television.

Our brain has a natural tendency to value immediate reward versus future reward. Our present self and future self are typically at odds with each. Make it as easy as possible for your present self to get started, the motivation and momentum will come with productive action.