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I have some expired shit in my refrigerator

7/28/2015

I have some expired shit in my refrigerator, yep I do. And you know what, on occasion there is a ring on the inside of one of my toilets. Sometimes there's a pile of clean, or close to clean, clothes mounded up on my whirlpool tub. You also may want to duck when you open one or two closets or cabinets cause shit may fall out and hit you. Guess what? I'm not perfect and I'm owning it!!! I love, love, love a clean house (I grew up in a virtual museum), but it'll never be me to have it that way all of the time (basically only when company is coming over will it be like that).

My mom is probably cringing right now, sorry mom, buy hey guess what...she seems to love me anyway. There used to be a time where I would cringe too, and sometimes I still do, but I'm getting over it. I wouldn't be me if I tried to keep all of that stuff organized and clean all of the time. I would be doing it to please someone else and I would hate it. I go to bed some nights with dishes in the sink and wet clothes in the washing machine. It's just not that important to me. I know that if I up and randomly die someday, I've got people who'll cover my butt. My peeps will rush over and take care of cleaning that shit all up, so I can go out on a high note. Yep, I'm being sassy today too, and that I too will own because I am sassy and feisty...always have been, always will be.

So, what does this have to do with you and why am I writing about it? Well, I could go on and on and give you the story I've sold myself for the past several years. You know, the one about priorities and how I choose to spend my time on other more meaningful things like reading my kids a bedtime story, but then I wouldn't be completely authentic. I am sharing this with you because I want to own who I am and who I am not. I am not going to win the award for having the cleanest refrigerator and you know what? I'm okay with that.

As I'm getting older I'm choosing to be more authentic, take it or leave it, I am who I am. I don't desire to wear the masks anymore, to sell you and myself little stories about who I am. I am not perfect, I am not wonder woman, I make mistakes, sometimes I'm a great mom, sometimes I kind of suck at it, I'm a work in progress, but I'm an authentic, unique, amazingly awesome work in progress! Somethings I will work on and get better at, and somethings will just never ever be me. I'm not all the way there yet with this authentic thing, but I'm getting there, each day getting a little bit closer.

I think at a deep level we all want to be loved and accepted and we do whatever we think it'll take to win the love and acceptance of the people who are important to us. Here's the thing, God made you who you are for a reason, so embrace who you are. Let your gifts shine bright and focus on who you are, who you are meant to be, and not on who you are not.

So how are you doing with being your authentic, unique, amazingly awesome self? Some people seem to be better at it than others right from the very start, while others of us learn as we get older that it's okay and easier to just be who we are and not worry about what anyone else thinks. It's that whole fear thing and being judged thing that stops us. Being authentic can be scary, it can feel vulnerable. What if others don't like the real me? What if they make fun of me? What if they realize that I'm not perfect, or not who they want me to be, or not enough like them to fit in? It can be hard to take off all of the masks and just be who we are.

Be brave, embrace your hot mess of a self. You are awesome just the way you are! It will be so refreshing to just own who you are, what you are about, and not care so much about what anyone else thinks about it. You are lovable and you will be loved for exactly who you are by the important people in your life. So, be who you are, not who others want you to be, or who you think you should be. It may take some courage at first to peel back all of those layers of stories, but it'll be worth it. Live comfortably in your own skin, no apologies, no explanations, just the real, authentic and beautiful you.

I would love to hear what you think about this post, about shedding some of your stories and owning who you really are, your authentic self. Please leave me a comment or send me an email.

3 Comments

Make growing a daily priority

7/21/2015

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I remember clearly when there was a day (or a year or two) where all I could manage to do was to muddle through and survive each day. I was knee deep with diaper changing, feeding, entertaining, keeping safe, teaching, cleaning, bathing, reading, laundry and trying to manage a household of 5 plus a dog. I also remember the days before I decided to stay home with my kids and I was juggling all of that plus managing a client base and a career. And before that I remember being a young adult and how exhausted I was working to build a career and find my way as an adult, as a friend, as a girlfriend/wife, as a daughter and a sister. I have to admit I wasn't so much focused on growing each day, as I was on surviving each day.

Fact of the matter is I was learning and growing, but I wasn't necessarily intentionally working at it, or focusing on growing, or determining where I wanted to focus my attention. I was focused on the tasks at hand. Yes, growth came a long with it and yes, I had goals, but as I reflect my growth goals centered around my career and what was needed to grow and change in my career. I didn't spend much time focusing on my own personal growth. Growth, outside of my career, came based on what life dealt versus what I sought out.

Is this just me, or can you relate to some degree? It was fairly easy to have years slip by without really stretching myself. Operating under the same status quo, having some of the same personal experiences happen over and over. Growing and stretching takes an openness, a willingness to put forth some extra effort. A willingness to own that you aren't perfect and have some things that you can work on to grow and expand yourself.

Certainly, some stages in life are more demanding of your time and energy and it's hard to do more than just survive, but mostly our busyness and our priorities are dictated by us. We can always make room for something if we make it a priority. I think it's important that we make growing a priority. It doesn't have to be huge, but taking a step each day to focus on your personal growth. Even if it's just reading a short paragraph, or watching a short video clip, or reading a blog post, maybe picking up supplies for a new hobby. Whatever it is, no matter how small it is, focus on how to grow a little bit each day. I often say...take small right steps everyday.

I once heard a suggestion that ten cents from every dollar you earn should go to help someone else, and ten cents from every dollar you earn should go to help invest in yourself. Tithing for yourself, to help you grow and improve, what an awesome concept! Maybe to help you attend a personal growth seminar or a retreat that you've had your eye on, or to participate in a mission trip, or to take a class on painting, or to purchase tools for your new hobby, or even to take a vacation. Investing in yourself, I love it! We think about investing in our future all the time don't we? Investing to buy a house, investing for retirement, investing for college funds, is there an account in there for yourself? I know it's hard, but I love the idea of investing in our future selves.

I believe that we are here as students of life. We are here to grow, to learn lessons, to have experiences, to remember. Don't let yourself become personally stagnant. Don't lose track of who your are and what your soul needs in the busyness of life. Carve out time for you to grow and shift and change and expand and learn each day. Some days in big ways and some days in small ways. I love this saying and I don't know who said it, "Each day try to be better than you were yesterday and tomorrow be better than you were today."

What are you going to do today to grow, to stretch yourself? I would love to hear how you make time for yourself to grow and what you are currently focusing on for your growth. Please leave me a comment or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!

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Make magic, it's contagious

7/14/2015

6 Comments

Do you love a good magic show? You know the kind where you just can't believe your eyes and you are totally amazed by something that happened right in front of you, but that you couldn't see. We were at a graduation party a few weeks ago and one of our neighbors pulled out a deck of cards and was showing the kids a few magic tricks, they were mesmerized.

I love magic, it makes me think that all things are possible. It makes me believe in possibilities, in the unseen. It's like a tiny miracle happening right before our very eyes. The thought of sprinkling magic fairy dust all over and having super amazing, magical things happen delights me. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, or maybe I've watched The Wizard of Oz too many times, but I would love to wave a magic wand and create little miracles. On good days, just to make them extra sparkly and on not so good days to help make them better.

I was listening to a video by Darren Hardy a while back and I love what he had to say about how to make magic. It stuck with me and creates a wonderful visual in my head every time I think about it. He said that, "Every time you smile warmly at someone - you make magic. When you show enthusiasm, excitement, compassion, kindness, empathy - you make magic. When you instill hope or your belief in someone or something - you make magic. When you get up after being knocked down - that’s magic. You are a powerful, astonishing magician. You magically change the world around you all day, every day." How fabulous is that? We can make magic every minute of every day! It's a similar concept to that of random acts of kindness and to the law of attraction, but personally I like thinking of sprinkling magic instead.

The other super cool thing about making magic is that it has a ripple effect...magic is contagious. Compassion is contagious, love is contagious, small acts of kindness are contagious, enthusiasm is contagious, forgiveness is contagious, gratitude is contagious, grace is contagious. And you never know how large of a ripple you'll create, or how you may positively impact someone else's day, or life, or the world.

I've mentioned in many of my posts how I believe we are more powerful than we are aware or recognize. I think that the ripple effect, the contagious effect of making magic is one way we are powerful, Darren Hardy is right, we are all astonishing magicians!

As I am in the middle of writing this post, I had to leave to pick my youngest daughter up from dance. When she got in the vehicle she began to share with me in a very excited tone how there was a new girl in her class and how she included her with the group and tried to get to know her and another younger dancer today. She then went on to tell me how much she loves her jazz class and the routine they are learning. She said that some of the girls started out tired, but how she was so enthused and excited that she was just bouncing around and happy. I told her that she had just made tons of magic and that it's contagious :) She liked that thought a lot, I think it's an easy one for kids to grab onto and have fun with, they love magic too.

From now on I'm going to be sprinkling some magic all over the place! You might want to watch out because I'm a pretty powerful magician, who knows what might happen! So, go ahead, create some magic of your own, it's contagious!!!

I would love to hear how you are being a powerful magician, creating magic and making ripples. Please share with me your thoughts on this post or how you are making this world a more magical place.

6 Comments

I am...never going to be good at this

7/7/2015

7 Comments

This past week was my extended family's annual vacation together. It's such a special time that I truly cherish. We visit, play games, enjoy the lake and create memories together. Every year I look forward to it, and every year I am sad when it is over.

One activity that we all participate in each year is our annual bean bag toss tournament. It's usually the one and only time that I play each year. Now I'll tell you a little secret...I hate doing things that I'm not good at. I'm a fairly competitive person and I usually avoid playing things if I don't feel that I'll be good at, or have a better than average chance of winning. I play in the bean bag tournament each year because it's tradition and my dad loved it, not because I am good at it.

This year, in round one, I was paired against my niece (my adult niece :)). Before we started she said, "Don't worry Aunt Tracy, I am not very good." Well, at least I didn't get completely slaughtered, but I lost. I stopped myself several times during the game, as I have a lot lately, and noticed my language that I was saying out loud and in my head. I was saying things like, "I am not good at this game", "I am never going to be good at this game", "I am not trying hard enough", "I am not focused", "I am going to lose", "I am pathetic". Does this sound at all familiar to you? Now this was just a silly, light-hearted game, but how many times each day/week do we speak to ourselves this way? How about when there is more at stake, what language do we use then?

I recently watched a video by Dr. Wayne Dyer where he discussed the phrase "I am". It was an intriguing piece that I have been reflecting on a lot and noticing my own usage of the phrase. Dr. Dyer discusses his interpretation of the phrase as it is used in Exodus 3 where God reveals himself to Moses through the sign of a burning bush. Moses asks God what his name is and God responds, "I am who I am". Dr. Dyer interprets this to mean that God resides in all things. He is ever present in all things, in you, in me, in everything.

I am means the self-existent one or literally “I am that I am.” God's existence doesn't depend on anything nor anyone else. He is self-sustaining, and the source of all energy in the universe.

Joseph Benner, author of The Impersonal Life, writes of his understanding this way, "I AM You, that part of you who IS and KNOWS; WHO KNOWS ALL THINGS, And always knew, and always was. Yes, I AM You, Your SELF; that part of you who says I AM and is I AM;". Joseph Benner also writes, "I AM not your human mind, nor its child, the intellect. They are but the expression of your Being, as you are the expression of My Being; they are but phases of your human personality, as You are a phase of My Divine Impersonality." Reread it a few times and let it soak in, this is some good stuff, some important stuff.

So, what does it mean when we speak to others or to ourselves using language like " I am pathetic", "I am stupid", "I am a loser", "I am not smart enough, pretty enough, fast enough, rich enough, disciplined enough, focused enough, strong enough"? What are we really saying? When you look at the words "I am" through the lens of it referring to God, it changes our view of whether we should be saying/thinking like that doesn't it? Well, at least for me it does, it pretty much stops me in my tracks and makes me instantly rethink what I am saying and thinking. For most of us it's fairly easy to engage in self-loathing language quite frequently. I have caught myself numerous times since studying this topic.

I believe that we are all one, that we are all an expression of God. If I am so casually willing to damage myself with self-limiting and destructive words and thoughts, then I am damaging not only myself, but everyone in turn. I prefer to substitute my language to include more phrases such as, "I am light", "I am love", "I am grateful", "I am powerful", "I am forgiving", which are much more in line with who and what I desire my expression to emanate. And, if I really desired to, and if I practiced, I am confident that I could say, "I am awesome at playing the bean bag game!"

This week, let's pay attention to what follows the words "I am" in our spoken language and in our thoughts. As always, I would love to hear your comments and feedback on this post. Did you find it to be useful? What follows the words "I am" in your life?

7 Comments

I have some expired shit in my refrigerator

Make growing a daily priority

Make magic, it's contagious

I am...never going to be good at this

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