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I have some expired shit in my refrigerator

7/28/2015

 
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I have some expired shit in my refrigerator, yep I do. And you know what, on occasion there is a ring on the inside of one of my toilets. Sometimes there's a pile of clean, or close to clean, clothes mounded up on my whirlpool tub. You also may want to duck when you open one or two closets or cabinets cause shit may fall out and hit you. Guess what? I'm not perfect and I'm owning it!!! I love, love, love a clean house (I grew up in a virtual museum), but it'll never be me to have it that way all of the time (basically only when company is coming over will it be like that). 

My mom is probably cringing right now, sorry mom, buy hey guess what...she seems to love me anyway. There used to be a time where I would cringe too, and sometimes I still do, but I'm getting over it. I wouldn't be me if I tried to keep all of that stuff organized and clean all of the time. I would be doing it to please someone else and I would hate it. I go to bed some nights with dishes in the sink and wet clothes in the washing machine. It's just not that important to me. I know that if I up and randomly die someday, I've got people who'll cover my butt. My peeps will rush over and take care of cleaning that shit all up, so I can go out on a high note. Yep, I'm being sassy today too, and that I too will own because I am sassy and feisty...always have been, always will be.

So, what does this have to do with you and why am I writing about it? Well, I could go on and on and give you the story I've sold myself for the past several years. You know, the one about priorities and how I choose to spend my time on other more meaningful things like reading my kids a bedtime story, but then I wouldn't be completely authentic. I am sharing this with you because I want to own who I am and who I am not. I am not going to win the award for having the cleanest refrigerator and you know what? I'm okay with that. 

As I'm getting older I'm choosing to be more authentic, take it or leave it, I am who I am. I don't desire to wear the masks anymore, to sell you and myself little stories about who I am. I am not perfect, I am not wonder woman, I make mistakes, sometimes I'm a great mom, sometimes I kind of suck at it, I'm a work in progress, but I'm an authentic, unique, amazingly awesome work in progress! Somethings I will work on and get better at, and somethings will just never ever be me. I'm not all the way there yet with this authentic thing, but I'm getting there, each day getting a little bit closer.

I think at a deep level we all want to be loved and accepted and we do whatever we think it'll take to win the love and acceptance of the people who are important to us. Here's the thing, God made you who you are for a reason, so embrace who you are. Let your gifts shine bright and focus on who you are, who you are meant to be, and not on who you are not. 


So how are you doing with being your authentic, unique, amazingly awesome self? Some people seem to be better at it than others right from the very start, while others of us learn as we get older that it's okay and easier to just be who we are and not worry about what anyone else thinks. It's that whole fear thing and being judged thing that stops us. Being authentic can be scary, it can feel vulnerable. What if others don't like the real me? What if they make fun of me? What if they realize that I'm not perfect, or not who they want me to be, or not enough like them to fit in? It can be hard to take off all of the masks and just be who we are. 

Be brave, embrace your hot mess of a self. You are awesome just the way you are! It will be so refreshing to just own who you are, what you are about, and not care so much about what anyone else thinks about it. You are lovable and you will be loved for exactly who you are by the important people in your life. So, be who you are, not who others want you to be, or who you think you should be. It may take some courage at first to peel back all of those layers of stories, but it'll be worth it. Live comfortably in your own skin, no apologies, no explanations, just the real, authentic and beautiful you.

I would love to hear what you think about this post, about shedding some of your stories and owning who you really are, your authentic self. Please leave me a comment or send me an email.
Stella
8/11/2015 02:28:58 pm

I love this past because its sooo true. But most people have become so sensitive that they surround themselves with little white lies. Guess what I am what I am and I am ok with that most (but not all) of the time.

Tracy
8/12/2015 02:06:51 pm

Thank you for your feedback. It's great to hear that my post resonated with you and that I'm not alone in my feelings :)

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