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Do Your Eyes Light Up?

3/22/2016

 
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I have a question for you...do your eyes light up when someone you love walks in the room? When your kids walk in the room, do your eyes light up? When your spouse walks in the room, do your eyes light up? When your friend walks in the room, do your eyes light up? When a family member walks in the room, do your eyes light up? You know what I mean, the little twinkle, the sparkle in your eye that says I'm glad to see you, you matter, you are important to me, you light up my world, you make my days brighter. 

Do your eyes light up when you see me? Not just for who you see at that moment, but for the best version of who you know me to be? One of our most core desires is to matter, is to be seen and loved for who we are. To be seen for the best that we can be. To be seen for how you want to be seen. 

It's similar to the way that a dog responds when its owner comes home, always excited, always happy to see you. That amazing unconditional love. 

I know that there are many times where I'm engrossed in the tasks at hand when someone comes home or walks in the room. I'm busy making dinner, working on the computer, talking on the phone, looking down at my phone, doing dishes, etc.. Even when I pick my child up from school, an 
activity, or from a friend's house I may be distracted and may not take a moment to actually look up, to make eye contact...to have my eyes light up at their presence.

How would it make each of us feel if someone we loved eyes lit up when we walked in the room? Not just when we've been gone for a long period of time, not just when they are excited to see us so they can tell us something, but just because.

​I don't think it's possible for my eyes to light up without a smile showing up on my face at the same time. Go ahead try it, I think you need to be smiling too. My guess is if your eyes light up and you are smiling that you'll get guess what in return? You got it...a smile will come back at you. What better way to start off an interaction with someone than with a smile and twinkly eyes?

Now I know, I know, people might think you've lost your mind, or that you're taking some kind of happy pill, but give it a try anyway! Look up from what you are doing and twinkle up those eyes and show those pearly whites. The other person's mirror neurons will kick in and they will light up and smile too!

While you're at it kick off the conversation with some positivity. Use what's called a power lead..."It's a great day, how are you doing?" This activates the mirror neuron effect and the other person will typically respond in kind with something positive. This establishes the trajectory for the rest of the conversation. Or, instead of asking "How are you?" or "How was your day?"  use a positive lead..."What was the best part of your day?" This question leads the responder to scan their day looking for the positive and then to share that with you.

We all want to be loved for who we are, and seen for the best version of who we can be. This week I invite you to let your loved ones feel your unconditional love by lighting up when they walk in the room. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Let me know how your loved ones respond as your eyes light up, or as you try out a power lead or a positive lead. Drop me a comment or send me an email!



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