Braving the Hot Mess
Check out Braving the Hot Mess on Facebook
  • Blog
  • My Story
  • Documentaries and Videos Worth Your Time
  • Books I Love
  • Vegan Recipes
  • Meditations
  • Affirmations
  • Tracy's Upcoming Events
  • Contact
  • Testimonials

How To Navigate Negative Emotions

2/19/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
In my post two weeks ago, Being Fully Human, I shared some thoughts about how it's not realistic, or even healthy, to try to be happy 100% of the time and that the key is to be resilient, to have grit, to bounce back, to not get stuck in the muck, to have stickiness, to move through the challenge and its array of emotions and feelings and thoughts without getting stuck. This week, I want to share with you a technique called self-distancing that I've found to be very useful in helping navigate negative emotions.

We usually deal with negative emotions in three ways...we either try to suppress them, express them, or escape them, all three of which are typically not a healthy approach. Research suggests that instead, it can be beneficial to process and reflect on our negative feelings. When most of us try to do this, it can be easy to start ruminating and get caught in the loop of repetitive, detrimental thoughts. We spin the story over and over in our heads. We tell ourselves things like, "I will never be good at this."


Gaining perspective on negative events, or “self-distancing,” is a practice that allows us to view our feelings and experiences from an outsider’s perspective. This can be accomplished with language...saying “you” or “she” rather than “I". Using phrases like “Tracy is feeling frustrated right now" or referring to yourself in the third person. The most important thing is to not use the term “I” or "I am" (there is a lot of energetic power in whatever words we put behind the statement "I am"). 

In everyday life, we typically think and talk about ourselves using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me.” Using self-distanced language...like “you” or “he"...means that we’re referring to ourselves the way we usually refer to others. This linguistic shift seems to create a cognitive shift, allowing us to gain perspective on whatever is going on.
​

Self-distancing can also be accomplished by visually imagining your own experience from a distance like you are watching a movie rather than reliving it through your own eyes, to take the perspective of an outside viewer, seeing yourself from afar. Mentally removing yourself form the situation is a helpful trick. To try it, you can imagine that you’re a fly on the wall, observing your situation, or you can imagine you are standing on top of a mountain looking down over the events. How do you see the situation? How do both people look...you and the other person? By cultivating a broader perspective, you’ll often discover that the situation is not as bad as you thought it was.
​
Research has shown that taking this perspective reduces the intensity and duration of negative emotional experiences. Reducing anger, sadness and other negative emotions around a distressing event, as well as minimizing negative unproductive recurring thoughts.

​Studies also suggests that self-distancing encourages us to think in more abstract terms rather than focusing on the details and feelings. When doing this, we are more likely to have realizations, deeper understanding and closure. This allows us to manage difficult feelings without getting swept up in them. 


I invite you to try the technique of self-distancing next time you become aware of a negative emotion. Be mindful of the language and thoughts you are creating around the emotion and visualize it from a different broader perspective. Next week I'll share an additional technique that has also been very useful to me in handling negative emotions, feelings and sensations.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Archive 

    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

    Picture

      Please sign up to receive weekly new blog posts. 

    Submit
Proudly powered by Weebly