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Living In A Beautiful State Or A Suffering State

8/2/2016

 
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I recently watched an interview where Marie Forleo was interviewing Tony Robbins about his new documentary titled, Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru. It was an awesome interview and the documentary is pretty amazing too (you can view it on Netflix). The documentary is a behind the scenes look at one of his famous 6 day retreats.

I really appreciated what he had to say about what he calls living in a beautiful state or a suffering state, so I want to share some of his message with you in this post. 

Tony's overriding message is that you don't have to tolerate the life that you have, even if it's good, that you don't have to settle. He says to strive for having a great, magnificent and outstanding life.

He believes that there are two states of being that we live in, either a beautiful state of being or a suffering state of being. The beautiful state of being represents happiness, love and peace. In the beautiful state of being you do the right thing and no one has to tell you, it's automatic. You also treat yourself and others well. The suffering state of being represents stress, worry, depression, frustration and anger. He believes that we have the ability to move back and forth between these two states of being and that it's our choice whether we allow ourselves to remain in a suffering state of being. 

I've discussed this concept in many of my previous posts. It's called your resilience or your "stickiness", however I appreciate how he describes the two states and what he has to say about them. Tony says, "If you don't manage your mind you can have everything and still be in pain, still be suffering. The mind is not designed to make you happy, it's designed to make you survive and it does that by fear. The brain looks for what's wrong through flight or fight mode. We need to shake ourselves out of that. Our minds can take us over unless our heart is what's running us." Our minds can work for us or against us at any given moment. In next week's post I'll share some information on managing our minds, in particular our thoughts. I love this James Allen quote, "All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts."

Tony believes that, "Life is too short to suffer, we can raise the bar on what we call suffering, so we can see it for what it is and realize that we can free ourselves from it. Problems need energy to live and some things you just don't give them energy and they are much easier to solve. It's easier to solve things in a beautiful state." I've mentioned in previous posts that our brains are more creative and able to problem solve in a positive, broaden and build state versus when in a negative, or flight or fight state (more on this next week). 


Tony goes on to say that, "Expectations for yourself or others get us in trouble. They put us in a box and they bring on a suffering state. You can free yourself when you trade your expectations for appreciation. Breathe into your heart, be curious about your thoughts, be appreciative for this moment, and something in it. Consider making the most important decision of your life… I will not suffer anymore. It's not fake, it's not funny, it's not placated, it's not sweep it under the rug, it's saying life is short and knowing that life is beautiful and rich and I want to be joyful."
​

So how do we maximize our beautiful state of being and minimize our suffering state of being? I believe that this requires having an intentional practice and a variety of tools in your toolbox. If you would like to learn more about maximizing your beautiful state of being, I invite you to join me for our next Happiness Workshop 3-part series September 14, 21 and 28 from 6-8 pm. You can register at http://bit.ly/HappinessClinic. In the workshop you will learn about the science behind happiness, the advantages to living a happy 
life (some of these will surprise you), quick and easy habits and tools to incorporate into your everyday life, as well as long-term strategies for well-being. 

I would love to hear your feedback on this post. What do you think about the beautiful state of being and suffering state of being? Do you currently live in a beautiful state of being or a suffering state of being? Do you have the tools in your toolbox to help you navigate life's challenges and maximize your happiness, love and peaceful state? Please leave me a comment or send me an email.
Brittany
8/3/2016 06:40:58 am

I love the line "You can free yourself when you trade your expectations for appreciation." I've been trying to practice radical acceptance in my life and I feel like you, and Tony, touch on a lot of those same themes. This is a great reminder and a fresh perspective that I really appreciate! Thanks for sharing!

Tracy link
8/3/2016 07:32:06 am

Thank you for the feedback Brittany. I love that line as well. His message is empowering. I'm glad that it served as a nice reminder for you!

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7/29/2018 11:29:56 pm

Tony Robbins was right when he said that expectations would only lead to problems. If there is one thing that taught me how to win every battle I will face in my life, it is that you should never set any expectations at all. The logic is simple. If you do not expect, then whatever the outcome is will be easy to accept. When you set expectations, you trap yourself with the possibility to be disappointed and that leads to dissatisfaction.

Jennifer
8/3/2016 10:11:16 am

Thank you for sharing these thoughts, and I completely agree that we can personally decide whether we are going to continue in the suffering, or are we going to make a change. There are many times I worry and suffer, worry and suffer, worry and suffer. But luckily, I can catch myself doing this and incorporate self-talk to help climb out of that cycle. I really feel for people who have high anxiety (like my husband) who have a hard time climbing out of this cycle. He is always thankful to me when I help him through low periods, because he knows he struggles with this skill. I have to say prayer is #1 in our toolkit! It truly does help me to live "in a beautiful state". Thank you for this message, Tracy!

Tracy link
8/3/2016 06:03:33 pm

You are very welcome Jen! Thank you for your feedback, I loved hearing your thoughts and how you use prayer to help you live in a beautiful state. I would love to have Mike join us for our next Happiness Workshop if he desires to learn some more tools for managing anxiety :)

Miguel angel
12/14/2017 08:05:07 pm

The beautiful state of being its the most important thing in life, i think is enlightment, but i dont have what does it mean, how can i get that precious state... greeting from mexico city

Tracy link
12/14/2017 08:50:34 pm

Greetings from Madison, Wisconsin! You posed an interesting question. I believe that being intentional and living with awareness are critical to getting to and staying in that precious state. Being intentional about our thoughts and reactions requires awareness and practices like meditation, prayer, gratitude, compassion and forgiveness. These are topics that I enjoy writing about, teaching and practicing. Several of my other blog posts speak to each of these areas. Thank you for your comment and interest in my blog :)

Chattanooga Glass Cutting link
7/13/2022 05:02:53 pm

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Comments are closed.

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