The things you did yesterday have brought you to the life you have today. If you want something different, you have to do something different to create a different life tomorrow. There's no other way to get there.
It requires commitment to change ingrained patterns, a firm decision to do what it takes to change course. It's being open and willing to learn from others about a different way of being and doing. To be vulnerable enough to admit that what you are doing isn't working and then to have the fortitude to alter your behavior toward something that will better serve you.
It first begins with having the self-awareness that you're engaging in a pattern that's not serving you and recognizing the consequences of it. It can be tempting to operate in the mode of denial and blame other people. Once you're aware of the pattern that's not bringing you the results that you want, you can make a choice to change it and can take action to stop repeating the pattern. This can be challenging to do on your own and often requires a coach or expert in the area of change.
Change requires finding and activating a motivating belief. We possess the ability to manifest a vast amount of determination when properly motivated by a deeply held belief. What motivating belief will propel you to change the patterns that aren't serving you?
Once we get off square one, a key to maintaining the change is a positive growth oriented mindset. People with a growth mindset are continuously learning and growing to better themselves, to be the best version that they can be. These are individuals who believe that their intelligence, talents, and basic abilities can be increased or enhanced through hard work and dedicated effort.
Exercising awareness and mindfulness versus being reactionary is another key. When you see or hear something that triggers you (even if it's just a negative thought that crops up in your head) before reacting to it and pouring your energy into it, engaging in old patterns, question it. Figure out where it came from, and ask yourself whom your reaction to it would serve. Learning to take that micro-pause between a stimulus and your response to create change.
Being mindful and making choices are the name of the game of change. Small choices each moment in the direction of change. Small choices, small changes that lead over time to bigger change. Remembering that at every moment of every day we always have the choice to choose again. Never let a few days, or even weeks, of falling back into old habits discourage you from reestablishing the habits you do want...you can always in this moment choose again.